“What’s really bothering you, Ellie?”
Dammit. Why is he so perceptive? “Diana,” I start and let out a breath. “She’s getting married this summer and wants to know if we’re coming to the wedding since I never responded to her invitation.” I shake my head. “I can’t believe she’s marrying that guy…after everything he did, how can she want to marry him?”
Grandpa lets out a deep sigh. “Some people…some people are as blind as they want to be.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, they know the truth is right there in front of them, they just choose not to see it.”
“Wouldn’t that be nice?” I run a hand through my long hair. “I’d give anything to have tunnel vision every now and then.”
“You take after me. We’re not built for tunnel vision. We see everything, and sometimes seeing everything makes you feel it all too. You may not see how much of a blessing that is now, but someday you will.”
The knot in my chest loosens. “Maybe that’s why…never mind. It’s silly.”
“You thought it and almost spoke it. Can’t be that silly.” Grandpa raises his silver eyebrows. I purse my lips and hold his gaze, looking away only a few seconds later.
“Fine. Maybe seeing everything, feeling everything, is what’s distracting me from figuring out who I’m supposed to be. It’s like no matter how hard I try to find my place in the world, I just can’t. I get one foot up on the ladder only to slip and fall.”
“Stop trying,” Grandpa says like it’s simple. “You are exactly who you’re supposed to be.”
I force a smile and nod, then motion to the computer. “I don’t know how to respond. She wants me to be a bridesmaid.”
“Do you want to go?”
It’s a simple question, yet it has a weight to it. Saying I don’t want to go to my only sister’s wedding makes me feel like a terrible person. Diana might value her socialite status more than anything else, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love my sister and wish her well.
Because I do.
Which is why this is so fucking hard.
Peter is bottom-of-the-barrel scum, hailing from a pedigree-rich family. He’s the second son in the Abbington line, but that doesn’t mean he won’t get his fair share of the family cut. He’s a shoo-in to fill someone’s position in his father’s company and can get Diana into any country club on the east coast just by dropping his last name.
“I want to go to her wedding,” I finally admit. “Because I’ll regret it if I don’t. Besides, if I don’t, how will I compare her first wedding to her second? Or third?”
Grandpa laughs. “That’s the spirit, kid.” He pushes off the wall and heads down to the first level of the house. Each stair creaks under his feet, and the screen door going out to the front porch groans and then snaps shut. Grandpa refuses to fly, so he won’t be going to Diana’s expensive Maui wedding.
I look at the email from my sister again and take a deep breath as I type.
Hey, Diana,
The wedding is coming up soon and Hawaii is the perfect place to tie the knot! It’s so exciting :-) I’d be honored to be in your wedding party, and I’m thrilled you even asked!
“Grow some balls,” I mutter to myself and delete everything. I squeeze my eyes shut and start again.
Hey, Diana,
I hope all is going well between you and Peter, and I’d love to be part of your big day. You’re my sister, and I will always love you and support you no matter what.
Take care,
Danielle
My words still sound contrived, but I hit send anyway and then quickly close my laptop before I have a chance to regret replying to the email. I really do wish her well. In a perfect world, Peter snapped out of his man-whoring, asshole ways.
But we don’t live in a perfect world. We live in the real world, and the real world—more often than not—dishes out its fair share of hard times.Chapter 4DanielleMy phone sounds with an email notification. Normally, hearing that little ding never bothers me. But right now, I happen to be waiting on two important emails. I get poor service in the farmhouse, and it’s not until I went outside on my way to the barn that my email updated.
I dig my phone out of my back pocket and stop outside the corral fence. All three horses are up here near the barn this evening, waiting to be fed their grain. Sundance plods over, sticking his head over the fence. I reach up, not looking as I run my hand over his soft muzzle.
There’s a glare from the sinking sun, and I turn, using the horse for shade so I can read my sister’s response.
That’s great! I need your measurements so I can have the dress altered for you, and I need the final count to give to the caterers. You’re single, right? Only serious plus-ones are invited since this venue is rather exclusive. You’ll share a room with another single lady. Looking forward to seeing you.