Wheels of Fire

“Give me your key.”

He hands it over and I open the door, pushing him into the suite. Once he’s securely inside, I stop and take in the room. Paintings ripped off the wall and broken. Television smashed by the window. Chairs overturned.

“What the fuck happened in here?”

He laughs. “Oh, we trashed the place earlier. I thought housekeeping would’ve cleaned it up by now.”

“Are you fucking five years old?”

“What?” He shakes off the room stuff and grabs my shoulders. “You have to let me talk to her.”

I cross my arms over my chest and put my back to the door. “Tell me what happened first.”

He stops kicking debris out of his way, grabs his hair with one hand, and points at me with the other. “Don’t you dare fucking laugh.”

“That good, huh?” I’m already fighting to keep my mouth in a straight line. Can’t help it.

“I’ll punch your lights out if you laugh,” he warns.

The struggle to keep a straight face is too much. “You can try.”

He throws me a menacing scowl. “After you guys got out, Pammy was feeling frisky. She undid my pants.” He reaches down to rub his crotch. “I was gonna get a little BJ action.”

I groan, already suspecting where this is headed.

“I swear, if you fucking laugh—”

“Just finish your story. The suspense is killing me.”

He glowers at me. “That banging little tart from the show left fuckin’ lipstick all over my dick!”

Maybe it’s exhaustion or disappointment that I’m not with Mallory right now when I’ve been jonesing for her for so long, but I fucking lose my shit. The sheer outrage in his voice is too much. I crack up so hard and fast, I end up sliding down the door till my ass hits the carpet, then fall over on my side, howling and clutching my stomach.

“It’s not funny.” Andrew’s sneaker connects with my thigh. It only makes me laugh harder.

“Karma…she’s a…brilliant bitch,” I sputter.

“You jinxed me, Chaser! When we were getting in the limo, you called it!”

I stop laughing and stare up at him. “So it’s my fault you couldn’t, I don’t know, splash some water on your damn dick before picking up your girlfriend?”

“You were rushing me! We were late.”

“Maybe you should’ve passed on the blowjob from the girl you just met?”

“Give up a free blowjob?” He blinks at me in confusion. “Why?”

“Not really free is it?”

“Fuck.” He drops down onto the floor next to me. “That’s deep, Chaser.”

“Indeed.”

He glances toward the bathroom. “I’m gonna take a shower. Maybe I can tell her it was just the limo’s shitty lighting?”

While I question Pamela’s intelligence for dating Andrew in the first place, the girl’s not dumb. “You don’t think she’ll suspect you ran to your room and showered?”

“Fuck, what am I going to do? I told all my east coast girls not to come to our last show.”

“Poor baby.” I sit up and slap his leg. “Maybe use the extra time to think about what an asshole you are.”

“Shit, man.” He rubs his crotch. “She was really pissed. I’m lucky she didn’t rip my dick off.”

“Can you blame her? How’d you like to find some guy’s cum in her panties?”

He actually seems to consider the scenario. “Yeah, I get your point.” His gaze slides toward the door.

“Don’t,” I warn.

“Come on. I need to talk to her.”

“Listen.” I use his shoulder to pull myself off the floor. “I’ll ask her but if she doesn’t want to talk to you, let it go for tonight.”

“Are you going to let her crash in your room?”

I’d rather not but I don’t see another option. “If that’s what she wants.”

“If you fuck my girlfriend, I’m going to kick your ass, Chaser,” he says with an absolutely straight face.

“Did that girl suck your brain out through your dick earlier?” I kick his leg, harder than a friendly bump. “I haven’t seen Mallory in weeks. Your inability to control your dick has ruined my night.”

“Fuck. I’m sorry.”

I swear there’s more remorse in his voice over interfering with my sex life than cheating on his girlfriend.

“That was a dick thing to say.” He peers up at me. “It’s just…Pammy’s always talking about you. I know she only does it to piss me off but…she’s into some freaky shit. Joining you and Mallory wouldn’t bother her.”

As if that wouldn’t be the three-way from hell. “I’ll pass, but thanks for the head’s up. Even if Mallory were into the idea, I doubt she’d choose Pamela.”

He raises an eyebrow. “You’d say no to two hot chicks?”

I’m done entertaining this train of thought. “Has it occurred to you that maybe you wanted to get caught?”

“No, why would I want this?” He raises his arms.

“So you can fuck everyone you meet without the guilt.”

“Guilt?” He scratches his head. “I don’t understand.”

“Figures.”

“Maybe.” He’s quiet for a few seconds, slowly tapping his fingers against the carpet. “I think maybe I want what you guys have.”

“Who?”

“You and Mallory.”

Apprehension prickles down my spine. “How so?” I ask carefully.

“Like, you guys are close. Pammy likes my money and my dick, but I’m not always sure she likes me.”

“Can’t imagine why.”

He wraps his arms around his legs and rests his chin on his knees, looking so damn pathetic, I almost feel bad for the dig.

“It’s so obvious that Mallory really likes you,” he finally continues. “Actually listens to you. Wants to be around you and stuff.”

Fuck knows I love being around her and I’m annoyed as hell that I’m not with her right this second.

“Maybe Pamela’s not the one for you, then.”

“But she’s so fucking hot.” He hugs his legs tighter.

Lord, I know I take your name in vain more often than I should, but this punishment seems excessive.

“There are beautiful women at our shows every night who love everything about you, right down to your stupid cock hammocks,” I answer as non-judgmentally as possible.

“I can’t date a groupie.” He gags. “That’s too weird.” He spears me with a wounded look. “And my cock hammocks are awesome.”

“Sure, buddy.”

“I’m serious, Pam likes my money but, other than riding Kyle’s dick, she doesn’t give a fuck about anything to do with Vicious Vandals. And it’s my whole life.”

I blink and shake my head. “What?” No wonder he doesn’t get along with his singer.

“It was a while ago. We were on a break.” He waves it away. “She’d never even heard of us before I tracked her down. Took her forever to go out with me because she thought I was just a sleazy rock star.”

“You are a sleazy rock star.”

His eyes widen. “Shit, I guess she was right.”

“Maybe this will be good for you.” It’ll definitely be good for Pamela.

“How is this good? When the tour’s over, I’ll be all alone again. Even if she’s mean and never feeds me, I like coming home to someone.”

“Well, if that’s true, then treat the next girl better.”

“I’m good to Pammy.”

“Andrew, what I’m about to tell you isn’t some cosmic secret.” I pause to make sure he’s listening. “No amount of cars, flowers, or diamonds are going to make up for your woman finding lipstick on your dick. And if it does, you probably shouldn’t be with that woman anyway.”

“Damn. You’re like a fucking philosopher or something, Chaser.”

“I watched my dad do plenty of stupid shit while I was growing up. Taught me a lot.”

“See, I didn’t have a dad around to teach me the important stuff.”