Wes laughs and steps in, grabbing the other end of the sheet. He helps me make the bed and gathers up the laundry Jackson left on the floor. He adds it to the laundry basket in the closet.
I could sit back and watch him clean all day.
“When will you be home?” I ask, crossing my arms tightly across my chest.
“Around nine.”
“Okay. I’ll keep a plate of dinner in the fridge for you.”
“Thanks.”
He’s in uniform, looking hot with his hair pulled back. The color is back to his face, and he looks better. Though a proper inspection is probably a good idea. Hot in Here plays in my head again as I imagine him stripping naked in front of me. I’m getting so wound up and sexually frustrated. I need to stop.
“I’ll see you tonight.”
“Right,” I say. “Tonight.”* * *
“Time for bed, buddy,” I tell Jackson, eyeing the time.
“Aww man,” he says, throwing his head back. “But we just got the farm all set up.”
“I’ll tell you what. Let’s leave it out until morning and we can play again after breakfast.”
“Okay!”
I get up and offer him a hand. He lets me pull him off the ground—and I mean literally pull him up—and we go into the bathroom to brush his teeth and go potty before bedtime. We read a dozen books and I’m starting to drift off during the last one.
“Lights out,” I yawn. Jackson starts to freak out the moment the light goes off. “What’s going on?” I ask.
“The Tall Man might get me in the dark. Can you leave the light on?”
“The Tall Man isn’t here. Are you scared of the dark tonight?”
He nods, and I flick the bedside lamp back on. “Hang on a second. I have something for you. Stay here.”
I get to his door before he scrambles after me, following me into my room at the end of the hall.
“This is Ray,” I say, taking my scruffy unicorn from my bed. “He was mine when I was a kid, and he kept me safe. He’ll keep you safe too.”
Jackson looks at the stuffed animal, not sure whether to believe me or not. A few seconds pass and he hugs Ray.
“Can you feel his protection powers?”
“I do!”
“Good.” Taking his hand, I lead him back into his room and into bed. I shut off the lights and pull the blankets back up, gently tucking Jackson in. He cuddles the dingy yellow unicorn against his chest and closes his eyes for half a second before opening them again.
“Are you still here?” he asks, voice thin.
“Yes,” I assure him. “I am.”
“Can you sleep without Ray?” He eyes the unicorn, face tight. “You can have him if you need him.”
“He’s yours now,” I say with a smile. “I think he’ll have more fun hanging out in your room with your other toys than he did sitting alone on my bed.”
Jackson nods. “And you’re kind of old to have toys.”
I laugh and lean forward, kissing his forehead. “I suppose I am. Try to get some sleep, buddy.” Smoothing out his blankets, I get up to leave.
“Scarlet?” Jackson sits up right before I close the door.
“Yeah?”
He twists the frayed yarn that makes up Ray’s mane through his fingers. “Will I always be scared of the dark?”
“No,” I say with a shake of my head. I go back into his room and sit on the edge of his bed. “You won’t be. I used to be scared of the dark, you know.”
“You were?”
“Yeah. But I’m not anymore.”
“How do you stop being scared of the dark?” His eyes meet mine, and something pulls on my heart. I look at him and see everything a child should be. Innocent. Playful. Pure. Kind-hearted and carefree. It’s then I realize that I’ll do anything to keep him that way, to make sure he lives the best life he can, the life he deserves to live.
It’s then that I realize I love him.
“I don’t really know,” I start. My eyes flutter shut, and I think of my own life, of the darkness that grew around me, suffocating and deafening at the same time. The darkness that spread so deep within, it turned everything inside of me black, and the numbness took over, like poison ivy twisting on vines, wrapping around my head and eventually my heart.
I think of the numbness that was so vast and hallow it reverberated through my soul with an emptiness that hurt more than anything I’ve ever experienced. That isolated me and made me feel alone even when I was standing in a room full of people. That made me do bad things just so I’d feel anything other than nothing.
I open my eyes and Jackson clicks on his flashlight. The tightness in my chest releases and it’s here, in this moment, I realize how I stopped being afraid of the dark.