I nodded silently, still not looking up.
“If you want to be with Sidney, you have to be your own man,” he continued. “Don’t stay here because it’s easy. Don’t stay here because she’s here.”
“I don’t want the money without my mom to share it with.”
“What would your mom say about that? Would she want you to put your body through this game, be on this team, for the rest of the years you’ve got left to play? Or would she want you to take the spot you’ve earned?”
I sighed deeply, not wanting to admit the answer.
“Life brings unexpected turns, man,” Orion said. “My sister’s husband left her alone to raise two kids and I was able to put her through college because I’d banked money when I was playing. And it’s a good thing I did that because I had to retire early when my nephew needed a kidney. Now I’ve got a family and I don’t regret a thing I did.”
“Yeah, I guess money’s not all bad.”
“It’s not just about the money, Killian. I’ll miss you like hell, but it’s time to man up. Face the unknown. I truly believe the only reason we fail is by not trying.”
I knew Orion was right. I had to face a few things right now and only I could make these decisions. Could I handle the big league? Could Sid and I weather a long distance relationship? These things weighed heavily on me, and I was glad Orion had helped me face the facts.Sidney
Steam rose from the surface of the bath water and I closed my eyes to take in the moisture and the almond scent of my bath oil. A glass of wine was waiting on the side of the tub. My favorite playlist of old songs was playing on the speaker system that reached every room in the condo. All I needed was to shed my silk robe and soak away my troubles.
While it was always fun to be in New York for a few days, I was glad to be home. My meetings had gone well and I was very pleased with the new real estate idea that Frank had presented. I managed to squeeze in a dinner with some old college friends, and even though I was busy the whole time, I couldn’t stop thinking about Killian. We’d both been angry the last time we’d seen each other and that was a crappy way to remember someone.
The hot water made me sigh contentedly. Finally, something relaxing. It had been a hellish few days between the travel, firing Nicole and fighting with Killian. I’d been bouncing between tears of fury and sad crying since that fight with Killian. Somehow I’d managed to pull myself together over the past three days and this afternoon, when I got back from New York, I had a video conference call with an investment group.
I knew Killian had left for a road trip right after our fight. But I’d seen the equipment manager unloading stuff at the arena this afternoon, so I knew they’d just gotten home. Not having heard one word from him for three days hurt me more than our fight had.
When I started college, I decided to spare myself the heartache of being an emotional woman. I made a conscious decision to be shrewd and detached about all the big stuff. That approach had served me well in both my business and personal relationships. I always stayed focused on what mattered—my work. Even when I had boyfriends, I never allowed them to get close enough to upset me.
But Killian had shredded me. I’d told myself it was just a physical thing between us, but my aching heart said otherwise. Since our fight, I’d find myself crying at the drop of a hat. What was with that, anyway? Since when had I become a woman who cried over anything, let alone a man? The answer was since Killian, and that unnerved me.
I submerged myself in the water, letting the moisture from the oil soak in to my skin. My hair was piled on top of my head in a messy bun, the back of my neck sweaty from the heat. Though I could’ve easily stayed in the tub for another hour, I pushed down on the drain release and stood up.
I’d relaxed my body and now it was time to relax my mind. I’d curl up in bed with a good book.
Just as I stepped out of the tub and reached for my towel, the chime of the doorbell sounded. I dried off quickly, wrapping my robe around my body. Not that I had any intention of answering the door in this. Who the hell rang someone’s doorbell at 9 PM, anyway?
I glanced at my phone to see if Keri had called to say she was coming by. No missed calls or messages.