I dial my sister, Faith. She answers in a hushed tone, sounding like she’s crying.
“Hey, I’m on my way to Mom and Dad’s,” she says. “Dad’s really bad. He took a turn for the worst fast. The doctors say he might not make it through tonight.”
“Shit.” I scrub a hand down my face. “Okay. I’m on my way.”
Numbly, I start taking off my equipment.
“What’s up?” Silas asks me, looking confused.
“It’s my dad. I have to go.”
“I’m sorry.” He helps me with one of my pads. “Is there anything we can do?”
“Just tell the coaching staff for me, okay? My dad’s in bad shape and I’m not waiting ‘til after the game to go.”
“No, I get it, man. Keep in touch, okay?”
“Yeah.”
I get back into my street clothes and pull a baseball cap down low, hoping to get out of the arena unnoticed. The Carson Center has lots of ways in and out, and I take a longer way out to avoid the crowd.
The whole time I’m jogging to the lot my car is in, I’m going back and forth between thinking about my dad and thinking about Reese.
I hope he’s not in any pain. I wish she could come with me. I hope he knows how much I love him. I hope she misses me as much as I miss her.
On the drive to the airport, which is so fucking slow because of traffic that it would’ve been faster to walk, I call Alice, an assistant from the team’s front office and ask her to set me up on the next available flight to South Carolina and text me the details.
Once that’s done, my mind goes back to Reese. I need to tell her. But how? I can’t text her about something so deeply personal. And I’m not calling her when she could be in the middle of a job interview, no matter how much I need her.
“Fuck!” I slam my hand into my steering wheel, despising every car between me and O’Hare.
If my dad dies and I’m not there with him, I don’t know how I’ll be able to forgive myself. My mom shouldn’t be alone right now. Even if she has friends there, Faith and I are the ones who should be there with her when his time comes.
Out of nowhere, I start crying. I’m not ready for this. My dad has been strong and steady every day of my life. I can’t imagine a family holiday without him carving up the turkey. I wanted him to meet Reese, if she’s even staying with me at this point. I don’t know.
I feel lost. Once I get to the airport, I’ll have my shit pulled together. I’ll stay strong for my mom and Faith. But in this car, for the next few minutes, I’m gonna let myself cry for my dad. He doesn’t deserve this slow, painful death.
Alice texts that I’m booked on a flight that leaves in forty minutes. Thank fuck I don’t have to spend precious hours waiting in the airport while my dad slips away.
I pull into the airport and pass all the cash in my wallet—around two hundred bucks—to a skycap.
“It’s an emergency,” I tell him. “Can you park the car somewhere and I’ll have someone pick it up late tonight?”
“Uh…” He looks at me, then at the cash and then at me again.
“Come on, man.”
“Yeah, okay.” He takes out his phone. “What’s your number?”
I recite the digits and then say, “Thanks, man. My name’s Knox Deveraux. I promise it’ll be picked up tonight. I won’t forget this.”
“You look so familiar,” he says to me.
I wave and race through the airport doors, texting Alice about getting my car picked up. Then, as I run toward the check-in counter to pick up my ticket and check which airline I’m on, I text Reese.
Me: We need to talk. Call me.
Somehow, I manage to make it through check-in and security on time. Once the plane is in the air, I try to relax, but it’s impossible.
My dad may not live through the night. It’s the most gut-wrenching reality I’ve ever faced. All I want in this world is to make it to him on time. I need to be there when he leaves this world.
The flight feels about three times as long as it actually is. Once my phone has service again after landing, I’m crushed to see that Reese hasn’t responded to my message. There’s a text from Alice telling me a car is waiting at the airport to drive me to my parents’ house. I make a note to tell Durand how much I appreciate Alice’s help with my travel plans. I’m not thinking straight enough to do much for myself right now.
On the drive to my parents’ house, I’m torn between wanting to get there badly and wishing I didn’t have to face what I’ll find when I get there. Messages are starting to show up on my phone from friends asking why I’m not playing in the game that’s in progress now. The announcers said I had a family emergency, and all the nosy bastards I know want to know what it is.