My heart’s pounding so hard I have to take a steadying breath before speaking again. “Yeah. I may not have said it the right way—”
“No, it’s not that. I guess I just…” He shakes his head. “I can’t figure out why I wouldn’t always want to be the fastest out there. I’m not saying you’re wrong.”
I don’t know if he wants to hear my thoughts, but this is my one and only chance to maybe help him, so I muster my courage and go for it.
“You used to be first on puck most of the time. This season you seem to count on Luca or Anton to be first.”
He narrows his brows slightly, listening.
“And you used to pass and shoot harder. You’ve always been a fighter. Not like a man-to-man fighter, but for the puck. This season, you seem to have lost your fight. A little. Or maybe your fight is focused somewhere else, which happens.”
Victor looks at me in silence. Really, actually looks at me, his eyes focused on mine. I remind myself to breathe as I look back, willing myself to hold his gaze.
This is my dream. All I’ve ever wanted was to be noticed by my crush, just one time, and here we are. Even if this place was filled to capacity with screaming fans right now, I wouldn’t see or hear anything but him.
I commit his expression to memory. He looks thoughtful, his lips level and his eyes swimming in shades of blue. There’s a tiny crease between his brows.
A bead of sweat drops from his hair to his face. He reaches a hand up to wipe it away, breaking our moment of eye contact. I expect he’ll stand up now, say it was nice to meet me, and go get some sleep in preparation for tomorrow.
“You’re right,” he says softly, looking out across the ice. He slowly turns to face me again. “And you know your hockey. What else have you got for me, Lindy?”Chapter SixVictorLindy’s eyes have lost their shine.
It happened as soon as I asked her to tell me more about her work here at the Carson Center. She works in Concessions and is cross-trained as an usher and can fill in as a waitress at the Center’s restaurants when needed.
And while that’s honest work, it’s a waste of her talents. She has an infectious excitement for the game of hockey that I wish I could harness for myself.
“So you get to watch the games sometimes?” I ask her.
“Not really. People gotta have their beer and nachos.”
I smile and glance at her before looking away. “So you think there’s hope for me?”
“Not just hope.” The confidence in her voice brings my gaze back to hers. “I know you can do this, Victor. You came back from that knee injury two years ago better than ever.”
This woman I just met a few minutes ago seems to believe in me more than I do myself. And it’s not just the blanket reinforcement all fans feel for the players on their team. She knows my strengths and weaknesses. Lindy is a student of the game of hockey.
“I want to come back better than ever again,” I say.
“Maybe—” Lindy stops herself and I look at her expectantly.
“Maybe what?”
Her cheeks flush light pink. “Nothing. What do I know? I just work in Concessions; I’ve never had to do anything like what you do.”
“You’ve given me good advice so far. Don’t hold out on me now.”
She smiles shyly, causing the corners of her lips to tip up as she plays with one of the drawstrings on her hoodie.
“Well, I don’t mean to go all Dr. Phil on you, but…can you confront whatever’s taking your focus? Maybe try to put it behind you and then just have hockey to concentrate on.”
A knot forms in my gut. If only I could. But there’s no confronting Bryan. If I push him, my whole world will probably implode.
“You do know Kristen Moore is a complete idiot, right?” Lindy says.
I shake my head, clearing away the anger and disgust. “Oh…it’s not her. I mean, now that the photographers have stopped camping outside my building, I’m good. Everyone thinks I’m still…pining for her, I guess, but I’m not. I thought we had something, but we obviously didn’t. Better to find out after a few months than longer down the road, right?”
“Yes. She didn’t deserve you.”
I shrug. “I’m done with relationships for a while. They’re just too complicated with my travel schedule. And I’m probably not an attractive prospect anyway since I’m on the verge of unemployment.”
I try to laugh, but I can’t even pretend to feel light about all this. It’s a fucking nightmare.
“You are not on the verge of unemployment,” Lindy says fiercely.
I’m not sure what it is about her that makes me want to spill my guts. I can’t even bring myself to tell Anton and Luca what I’m about to tell her.