I look down, my face warm with shame. “I couldn’t have gone back there, Luca. If Jack had been in the hospital longer or if, God forbid, something had been really wrong…”
“It’s okay.” He rubs my upper arms as I shake my head.
“It’s not okay. You needed me. Jack needed me. And I bailed.”
Luca’s tips my chin upward with his thumb. “You were there. You didn’t bail. I was the one who told you to take the girls home.”
“Yeah, but I was barely keeping it together at that point. I thought I might pass out.”
“I get it, I honestly do. But what does this have to do with us?”
I close my eyes. “You deserve better.”
“Abby.” Luca sighs softly. “There’s no one better than you.”
I start to protest, but he silences me with two fingertips over my lips.
“You survived a tragedy that would have broken most people. You found a way to keep going, and to make a legacy for Chloe that saves lives. You’re smart and so damn successful. Warm. Compassionate. You love me and the kids and support us unconditionally. You accept us as we are.”
I put a palm over Luca’s heart. “That’s because you’re all perfect.”
“No, we’re not. You just see the best in us. Jack can be awkward and Cora has an edge, not to mention her anxiety. And me…I don’t know if I’m enough or if I’m doing a good job with the kids. I feel guilty a lot, and I get bored watching swim lessons. I cuss in front of the kids. I cry every time I hear the national anthem before a game because it makes me think about my brother.” He exhales deeply and rests his forehead against mine. “And Emerson…I don’t know, she might be perfect.”
I laugh and move closer to him. “I think so. But I think you all are. Swimming lessons are boring. And Cora comes by her anxiety honestly. Jack is amazing if you just give him space to talk when he’s ready.”
“You come by your feelings on hospitals honestly, too,” Luca says softly. “All of us have lost a lot. We get each other. There’s no replacing what any of us lost. The kids could never take Chloe’s place. You can’t take Danielle’s. I can’t take Matt’s. But we’re still a family. We’ve made something together that’s…” He chokes up as he finishes. “my world. You guys are my whole world, Abby.”
My tears spill over and flood my cheeks. I wrap my arms around Luca and pull him close, burying my face against his chest as I cry.
“You guys are my world, too,” I manage to say through my sobs. “I love all of you so much.”
Luca cups my cheeks. “If you never set foot in a hospital again, I’ll still love you. Never think you aren’t enough or that we deserve better. We already have the best there is.”
“Thank you.” I look up at him, wiping a hand over my face.
“Next time, talk to me, okay? Always talk to me.”
I nod. “I will. I promise.”
He kisses my forehead and the brush of his stubble over my skin gives me goosebumps.
“So you’ll come have dinner with us tonight?” he asks.
“I will.” I consider for a second. “Actually, I’m pretty caught up. If you’re going home now, I could just come with you.”
“Yeah.” He smiles down at me. “Even better.”
I go back inside to get my purse and tell Don I’m leaving for the rest of the day, and probably the rest of the week. I’ve got a lot of catching up to do.
“Ready?” Luca asks me as I approach the Escalade.
“Yeah. Let’s go home.”EpilogueLucaThere’s something magical about Kauai. It’s not just the lush scenery and the sounds of calling birds and ocean waves. I’m sure we could find those things in lots of places.
When we realized we could fit in a quick trip over the kids’ Christmas break, when I had several off days, too, this is where we all wanted to come. We got the same eight-bedroom beach house we had over the summer, and my parents came with us.
I think the magic of this place is about the five of us. We disconnected from electronics last time and focused on each other. Abby and discovered that we can have quiet sex when we need to, which is most of the time anymore. And the kids were thrilled to explore and island for the first time. We were all lighter here, free from the weights and worries of everyday life.
Abby couldn’t look more beautiful that she does in the dark pink sleeveless dress and big straw hat she’s wearing. Every time she smiles, I’m struck with gratitude for her.
I had no idea what would become of us the night I met her at the Palmer House. If some douchebag hadn’t hit on her, we probably wouldn’t have ever spoken. Sometimes, the curve balls life throws at you end up becoming home runs. That one did.