Anton (Chicago Blaze 1)

“Dix?” I smile innocently. “He’s been a perfect gentleman.”

She laughs at that. “Oh, I know him better than that.”

She’s a petite woman with short silver hair and a warm smile. Her husband Martin is tall, with broad shoulders and a baseball cap that boasts two side-by-side NHL logos—the Blaze and the Comets.

They’re both every bit as proud of Anton and Alexei as they are their biological daughter; I can tell that right away. If I didn’t know Anton and Alexei weren’t their children by blood, I’d never guess otherwise.

And Alexei is every bit the polar opposite of his brother. He throws back eggnog, many shots of Grey Goose and several beers. He’s irreverent and jolly, trading dirty jokes with Dix and playing on the floor with the kids.

It’s seeing Anton on the floor with Dre, though, that gets me. Dre asked him to join us for tea, and Anton looks serious as he accepts a pretend cup from Dre.

“Is it still hot?” he asks him.

“No, you dwink,” Dre responds.

Anton pretends to lift the mug up to his lips and sip. Then his eyes widen and he howls.

“It’s too hot! Oww, my tongue is on fire! Get me some ice water, Dre, quick!”

Dre’s giggle turns into a belly laugh as he pretends to pass Anton another cup.

“This one’s too cold!” Anton protests. “You just froze my lips together, man.”

He tries to talk through pursed lips and Dre laughs harder than I’ve ever seen him laugh.

The other kids, Julia and Connor, run over to join in the fun. They’re Martin and Laura’s daughter Lindsey’s kids, and when they start climbing on Anton and Alexei and calling them “uncle,” I almost feel breathless.

This is what’s been missing from my life for so long. Warmth. Love. Joy. I see all of those things in Anton’s eyes as he interacts with his family.

And as amazing as it feels, it makes my heart hurt so badly I have to get up and go into the bathroom. I lean against the walls and take a few deep breaths.

If I can ever get out of my marriage to Adam, which won’t happen anytime soon, I can see myself with Anton. If we were single at the same time, I’d be very interested in dating him.

But if he knew the truth about me, he wouldn’t see me the way he does now. The shine would fade from his eyes if I told him I can’t have children. And after seeing him with Dre and his nieces and nephews, I’m sure he wants a family.

How could he not? He’s worked hard for everything he has; now he can give his children the world. Anton is so big-hearted. I have a feeling he’ll be a great father one day.

I dab the corners of my eyes with a tissue and pull my emotions together. I’m walking down the apartment’s main hallway to return to the festivities when my phone buzzes in my pocket with an incoming text.

Anytime I get a call or a text, I check it immediately in case it’s about my grandpa. This one isn’t, but it knocks the wind out of me all the same.

Adam: Where the fuck are you? I know you quit your job and you’re not at your shithole apartment either.

I just stare at the screen, the all-too familiar sense of dread racing down my spine. He just never quits. Adam started to get off on being mean to me a few months after we got married. I still remember the first time so clearly. I’d gone to one of his games in a Blaze sweatshirt and jeans and he confronted me late that night, after he got home from going out with some teammates.

“You looked like you took a break from cleaning the goddamned house to come to my game tonight,” he said. “It’s embarrassing. Spend more than five minutes getting ready next time.”

I was so ashamed. I’d felt like a cute, supportive wife in my new jeans, my hair back in a ponytail. Knowing he was embarrassed by me made me want to crawl away and hide.

Another text comes in.

Adam: I’ll find you, and I’ll beat the shit out of whatever guy you’re fucking. You’re my wife.

Bile starts rising up the back of my throat. Just the words “I’ll find you” make me want to run. God, taking this job was a colossal mistake. If Adam finds out I’m working for Anton—coming to his apartment and staying the night sometimes—I’m afraid of what he might do. He won’t care what the truth is.

“Hey,” a soft, deep voice says.

I look up from my phone screen and see Anton approaching me. As soon as he sees my face, his expression changes from happy to concerned.

“Hi.” I quickly wipe the corners of my eyes again.

He puts a hand on my back and guides me down the hall and into a room. His bedroom. I’ve peeked in the doorway a couple times since starting work for him, but never stepped inside.