She’s still pressing my hand to her heart. “If I had you that way…I’d hold on to you so tight. I’d never want to let go.”
“You never have to, Mia.”
Her eyes flood with tears. “I’m broken. So imperfect, but still here and still fighting. And for me, love means letting you see those imperfections. Thank you for accepting them.”
“I want all of you.” I put my hands on her waist, fighting the urge to pull her on top of me. “All the little pieces that make you the person you are—I want all of those. And I want you to see all my little pieces, too. I’m not perfect, either, sweetheart. You’ll see.”
She smiles. “You’re perfect to me.”
“Lie down with me.”
She looks over at the empty side of my king-size bed. “Okay, but we have to be good.”
“I will be. It’s you I’m worried about.”
She laughs and gets up to walk to the other side of the bed. “You should be worried. It’s getting hard to do the right thing.”
I cringe as I turn to lie on my side so I can face her as she lies down. “Yeah, but soon the right thing will be to fuck long and hard.”
“How soon?”
“I guess that’s up to Kevin. Maybe if I offer to go to his kid’s next twenty-five birthdays he’ll speed this divorce up.”
Mia pulls a fleece blanket up from the foot of the bed and covers me with it from the waist down, her eyes lighting up as she notices my tented crotch.
“The rest of me has to stay cold?” I ask, amused.
“For now.” She gives me a coy smile. “I’m enjoying the view.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Mmm-hmm.” She gives me a hesitant look before saying, “I looked up pictures of you online.”
I arch my brow. “What for? The real thing’s right here.”
“Well…I was just curious.”
“About?”
She gives me a look. “You know…there was that photoshoot you did in your underwear a couple years ago for that sports magazine. The body issue.”
I haven’t thought about those in a while. I grin at the look on her face. “And?”
“Let’s just say I liked what I saw.”
“Huh. Good. And where are my photos of you?”
“You’ll just have to wait for the real deal.” She reaches down for another blanket and covers herself up. “But I was wondering about the ink on your leg. It’s beautiful.”
“Oh. Thanks. I’ve had it for a while. I guess…eight years now.”
“Is there meaning behind it?”
I try to stifle a yawn. “I wish. Truth is, I was out with my brother and some friends in the offseason, had too much to drink, and ended up telling the artist to give me something special.”
“Well, he did.”
“Yeah. I do like it, thank god.”
Her eyelids slowly close. I can barely believe she’s here. In my fucking bed. I don’t want this time with Mia to end. I hope like hell there are moments like this ahead, where we can just hold each other. And even better, times when we don’t just talk about what we want to do in this bed, but actually do it.Chapter Twenty-OneMiaThree months laterI open the blinds of the living room window in Anita’s apartment and immediately smile at Dre.
“Sun!”
He jumps up and down and dances in a circle, making me laugh. Poor kid’s stir crazy. The April rain has been keeping us inside all week, both here and at Anton’s.
Anita is studying for her finals, and I offered to take care of Dre all week so she can focus. It’s Friday, the last day of our week together, and I really wanted to take him to do something fun.
“Let’s get dressed and go out for breakfast,” I say.
“Pancakes?”
“You know it, kid.”
He dances back to the bedroom he shares with his mom. She left at 6:00 a.m. to go study at the campus library. Even with my help, I don’t know how she does it. Every minute of the day, she’s working, studying, taking care of Dre or catching a few precious hours of sleep.
Dre and I take an Uber to our favorite little diner and sit at the breakfast bar, playing I Spy while we wait for our pancakes. And when they arrive, my mini-me douses his with syrup just like I do. I have to clean his face in the bathroom before we move on to shopping at the little boutique stores in this neighborhood.
I need to keep busy today, because I’m full of nervous energy. Tonight is my first date with Anton. A little over two weeks ago, my divorce from Adam was finalized. Three days ago, Anton played the last of his eighty-two games for this season. Tonight, we finally get to focus our full attention on the attraction between us that’s been brewing for all these months.
The day the divorce was official, I wanted to run over to his apartment and kiss him. I took an Uber instead, because it was faster. But when I got there and breathlessly gave him the news, he surprised me.