We Have Till Dawn

I jotted down the time, the church, the day, and the reminder to ask Anthony to bring my amplifier.

Hopefully there would be time to have a talk with him too, ’cause though I hadn’t listened to his new song yet, the title, “Bottom of a Heartbreak,” made me wanna put my foot down.

He was gonna insist that the lyrics weren’t personal, and I was gonna call bullshit.

After attaching the note to the fridge, I made my way back to the alcove and threw myself on the bed. Everything was ready for Gideon’s arrival. Duvet rolled down, all lights off except for the one on the nightstand, curtains closed, and I was as naked as the day I was born.

At two minutes to ten, I gave up on trying to beat that fucking level. I was gonna see pears and tomatoes and honeycombs in my dreams at this point. One of the students had gotten me hooked on the game, but it just made me pissy.

All right. Blindfold on. Nothing else to do but put my ass in the air for Gideon.

Tonight wasn’t my night. I felt unsettled and antsy. This was work. I’d been mad comfortable this past Saturday, and I’d even wondered if Gideon and I could have some amazing chemistry. It hadn’t felt farfetched at all. Almost like it was right there, crackling, smoldering, waiting for us to act on something that went beyond cuddling. But now I was having doubts. Half my brain was still at the academy in Brooklyn—and with my brother.

I needed to get out of my head—

A key turned in the lock.

I took a deep breath and tried to shake the rest of the day off me.

Gideon let himself in and locked the door. Same sounds as last time. A kitchen chair was pulled out, and I assumed he hung his coat or suit jacket there.

He didn’t sit down on the edge of the bed first this time, though. I heard him unbuckle his belt and pull down his zipper, and it was as hot as it had been on Saturday.

“You’re my toy, and you don’t talk back.”

Welp. Hot. As. Fuck.

“Unless something is wrong,” he added hastily.

I grinned to myself.

Was it weird that I found his uncertainty adorable and charming? It drew me in and stole my entire focus.

He crawled onto the foot of the bed and came up behind me, and it killed my humor. I was itching to find out what he had in store for me. More than that, I wanted to get him off and see how he’d react. But I knew the seeing part wouldn’t happen, because one of the last things he’d said to me during our first night was that he felt more comfortable without an audience, including me. He’d guessed, or rather stated, that I knew he wasn’t experienced, to which I’d nodded, and that seemed to bother him.

Even as a beginner, he wanted to come off as assertive. Life didn’t work that way.

He touched me with more ease today, thankfully. His hands roamed my back and sides, slowly inching down to my ass.

Had he dropped all his clothes yet?

“I want to use you,” he murmured.

I’m yours to use, honey.

“Almost like a doll…” He drew a single finger between my ass cheeks, and I flushed all fucking over. Where was this confidence coming from? “My God,” he whispered. “I’ve been thinking about this since I left.”

I swallowed.

The way he slowly, cautiously circled my ass drove me nuts. There was something indecent about his innocent exploration of me.

Next thing I knew, he lowered his head to kiss me there, and my eyes flashed open behind the sleep mask. He’d completely thrown me off guard. Weren’t we missing a whole bunch of steps? First base, second base… Fuck if I knew, but I didn’t think it was supposed to go from cuddling to tongue-fucking someone’s asshole.

Tongue-fucking was extreme, but he wasn’t shy, that was for sure. He dropped openmouthed kisses and pushed the tip of his tongue inside me, all while his long fingers kneaded my cheeks.

I had to swallow a moan when he reached under me and cupped my balls.

The blood in my body surged downward, and I had to lock my elbows into position.

“I masturbated in the car ride on the way over,” he admitted.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Was he a deviant in sheep’s clothing?

“I kept thinking of you riding me,” he went on, trailing his kisses higher up now. “It’s one of my biggest fantasies, you riding my cock in the back seat.”

That could be arranged in the right type of car.

I shivered incessantly as he kissed his way up my spine and wrapped his fingers around my cock.

“It feels so good to say these things out loud.” He planted his forehead against my back and breathed shallowly. “I wish I could touch you in public without people knowing what’s going on.”