We Have Till Dawn

Claire looked as if she didn’t want us to go near that particular room, but I hoped she’d realize it would’ve been beyond stupid to think…I didn’t even know, that I’d take him in there now to bend him over for me? Cazzo. But down the hall she gestured. Surrounded by shiny hardwood floors, intricate moldings, art, and rich colors, I ushered Gideon toward an open door and saw a big bed in the middle of the room.

He’d fucked her here, hadn’t he? Of course he had.

I did my best to swallow the jealousy, and I sat Gideon down on the edge of the bed and stepped between his legs.

“Breathe with me, baby,” I murmured.

He nodded jerkily and struggled to suck in a longer, slower breath.

“We’ll push that pause button,” I repeated. “You set the pace. Everything can wait.”

Including me, even if he only wanted to see me later to explain why he was going to marry Claire.

He wrapped his arms around my midsection and pressed his face to my chest.

“I’m so fucking sorry for showing up unannounced.” I pressed my lips to his hair and breathed him in. For all I knew, I wouldn’t get another chance. It almost made me wanna beg him to keep coming to the apartment for whatever little time we had left of our two months, as if we could pretend after this. As if I could stomach his nightly visits for another week, knowing full well that he’d made his decision.

Chester appeared at our feet and head-butted Gideon’s leg, then stood up on his hind legs and clearly wanted to get on someone’s lap.

“Want me to get him for you?” I asked.

Gideon sniffled and shook his head before he released me. He was breathing easier now. In mere minutes, I wouldn’t have a reason to stay anymore. He was getting better.

He picked up Chester and hugged the little dog to him.

It hadn’t occurred to me before that Chester was his emotional support animal. Even if it wasn’t intentional, even if Chester hadn’t been trained as a support dog, that was clearly his role, and he seemed to be doing a great job. He wagged his furry little tail and tried to jump up toward Gideon’s face.

I could take a hint. Time for me to bounce.

“I’m gonna go.” I combed my fingers through Gideon’s hair, and he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I’ll be there tonight, okay?”

He nodded once and exhaled unsteadily. “And you promise we p-pushed the pause button?”

“I promise.” I leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. “You tick things off one at a time, and I’ll wait. Don’t rush on anyone’s behalf.”

“Thank you.” He squeezed my hand briefly. “I think I can be there around eight or nine.”

“All right, I’ll wait.”

On the way out, I picked up my jacket and put on my shoes, and I avoided Claire altogether. Then I texted Anthony in the elevator, and by the time I reached the ground floor, he told me he would be outside the entrance in a minute.

Mannaggia, I couldn’t believe myself. Too many emotions were surging within me, and I couldn’t shake the nausea. The only thing I knew for certain was that I’d screwed up royally.

My chest hurt. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to think.

Anthony rolled up in his black truck, and I met his cautious expression when I jumped in and slammed the door shut.

“I made a complete fool of myself.”

I wanted to throw up.

He winced and pulled away from the curb. “Tell me what happened.”“Nicky. You can’t lie here all day.”

“Watch me,” I mumbled around a spoonful of ice cream. Once we’d gotten back to the apartment, I’d showered, changed into sweats and a tee, created the biggest ice cream sundae for myself, then thrown myself onto the bed with my phone. And I wasn’t going nowheres.

Maybe I’d stay here until Gideon’s pillow stopped smelling like him.

Anthony sighed and sat down at my keyboard but turned the chair so he could face me.

“You don’t gotta babysit me,” I said. I kinda wanted to be alone, because I had an itch to go through my pictures. I had three of Gideon and two of him and me, silly and sweet selfies from our walks—okay, one of them was of the dirty variety. He’d taken the photo with my phone when I was blowing him. But all I wanted right now were the silly-sweet pics.

Anthony checked his watch. “Ruby will be here in an hour.”

“And she will be about as entertained as you are now.” I punched the pillows behind me into comfortable perfection, then leaned back with my ice cream and my phone. Legs crisscrossed under the covers, ice cream bowl on my lap. “Listen. I can’t even tell you how thankful I am for you—and Ruby—but I’m gonna host this pity party with or without you. That includes ice cream, playing my game on my phone, and probably inhaling Gideon’s scent on the pillows.”