—AmberMy jaw was open as I just sat there staring at the screen.
Holy fucking shit.
I read it again.
And again.
And again.
I honestly didn’t think that Amber felt that way about me. She would always make jokes about me being good-looking, but her attraction to Rory proved that her taste wasn’t exactly conventional. Now, I really felt like shit for invading her privacy, because there was no way she would’ve been okay with confessing that to me. I never imagined any of this had to do with me. I’d assumed it was solely about Rory.
She wanted to use another man to fuck me out of her system?
That revelation left me shocked and confused—not to mention hard as fuck thinking about the fact that Amber wanted me.
Knowing what I now knew, the right thing to do would have been to just abandon the entire exchange at this point. But then how would that have left her feeling if he never wrote back? I’d completely made a mess of this situation, although I still wouldn’t have changed a thing if it meant preventing her from giving her body to some male whore who merely wanted her money.
This predicament kept getting more difficult for me to navigate. The café was about to close. Needing to get home and not wanting her to think she’d lost me, I sent her one final message.Amber,I can definitely relate to wanting someone you can’t have. I think you should think about what you want to do a bit more. I’m here if you need to talk, but I have to log off for the night.
Have a good evening.—G9I closed my laptop and got up to exit the café.
My breathing was ragged as I sucked in the cold night air. Making my way down the cobblestone street, I pondered whether I should avoid Amber tonight altogether. My fear was that she would be able to tell that something was up just by looking at me.
Something was definitely up, and I couldn’t have her noticing that, either.
Pretending to be arriving home for the first time, I opened the door and greeted Kitty as if we hadn’t already reunited tonight. True to form, her meowing was just as enthusiastic as ever. It didn’t matter whether we hadn’t seen each other for hours or minutes, she was always purring and excitedly meowing her ass off.
Amber was sitting on the couch. She abruptly closed her computer and straightened up as if I’d caught her with her pants down.
“Channing! I wasn’t sure when you’d be getting back.”
Dropping my bag on the floor, I said, “Yeah. Late flight. I’m exhausted.”
Silence filled the air as we stood facing each other. I sensed that she was still thinking about Gentleman Nine and probably feeling a little ashamed. Maybe my presence had snapped her back to reality a little. At least, I hoped so.
I’d known Amber since I was a kid…but somehow this moment felt like I was meeting her for the first time—seeing a new side of her, one that involved her wanting me and one that involved the understanding that she was no longer the innocent girl I once knew. She had needs—very adult needs. I didn’t blame her for that. Hell…the fact that she was exploring her sexuality was hot as fuck. I just wanted to make sure she was safe; that was all.
“Anything exciting happen while I was gone?” I took two steps toward her and immediately noticed her body stiffen as she stepped back a bit. She was reacting to me. Had it always been like this? Maybe I just never noticed. I was now picking up on the body language that had probably been there all along.
“No. It was really quiet with you not here. Without the distraction, I ended up stalking Rory’s Facebook page, which was a total mistake. He was tagged by some girl while they were out. I shouldn’t have done that.”
I had to act surprised because of course I already knew about that from our email exchange. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”
“I unfriended him, so I don’t have to see his posts anymore. It’s for the best.”
“Good.” I scratched my chin. “That was a good idea.”
She looked up at me, her eyes reflecting so many different things: sadness, desire, desperation, confusion. That jackass had left her feeling so lost, doubting herself. But the answer to her problems had nothing to do with him. She needed to get out, find herself, separate her own self-worth from the breakup.
There was no question that I was attracted to her. I was very attracted to Amber—always had been. That didn’t mean I was the right person for her. She was too vulnerable to mess with. Not to mention, the mature side of me really didn’t want to ruin a good thing—I valued her friendship more than anything, and this time in Boston with her was like a second chance to renew it. There weren’t exactly a lot of people in my life whom I could depend on. Not to mention, Lainey would have been proud of me for looking after her best friend and not fucking things up.