“Wow. That’s perplexing and fascinating at the same time.”
When we returned to the living room, Milo was no longer paying attention to the television. In fact, he had turned it off altogether. Instead, he was playing around on an iPad.
“What’s he watching?” I asked.
“He likes to watch YouTube.”
I sat down next to him on the couch and leaned in. He was looking at clips from the show Archer. It was some kind of montage.
“That’s a cool show,” I said.
Apparently, my giving him that little bit of attention served as his cue to wrap his arm around me, once again pulling my head into his face. His nose felt like a vacuum atop my head. Closing my eyes, I let him do it, as uncomfortable as it was allowing a grown man my age to cradle my head and sniff me.
Amber chuckled. “He’s definitely motivation to keep my hair smelling fresh and clean, but I feel like I’m not competition for you at this very moment.”
When he finally let me go, I noticed that he was looking at the iPad screen then back at me. He kept doing this over and over.
“What’s up?” I asked him.
Amber chimed in, “I think he thinks you’re Archer. He’s done this to me and other people.”
“That’s why he’s watching it? He thinks I’m the character?”
“It’s possible. I’ve seen him do that before.”
“Who does he think you are?”
“Daria from that old MTV show.”
That cracked me up. “It must be the bangs.”
“Anyway, we were about to head back out to get some dinner,” she said. “Would you want to join us?”
Watching Amber with Milo was actually really fascinating. It was an entirely different side of her life that I’d never gotten to see. So, I took her up on her offer.
Amber held onto his hand as the three of us walked down the street.
“Do you always hold his hand like that?”
“I don’t have to, but it gives me a feeling of security. He’s been known to suddenly run if he gets excited about something. It’s not worth the risk. And he doesn’t mind holding my hand.”
People must have thought I was the third wheel as we strolled through Quincy Market, one of Boston’s biggest tourist attractions. Milo was twice the size of Amber. No one would have ever guessed by looking at them that her number one job was to keep him safe.
After we stopped for Greek food—Milo’s favorite—we browsed through some of the vendor carts surrounding Faneuil Hall. Milo pulled Amber toward a woman who was selling hats and sunglasses.
She was trying to get him to go in another direction. “Milo, no. We can’t go here.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“He likes to snap sunglasses in half. That’s why I can only wear dollar store ones around him.”
When he had his mind set on something, it was apparently hard to distract him toward anything else. Amber couldn’t pull him away from the cart. Honestly, I didn’t know how she took him out by herself because she didn’t have the strength to control him on her own.
I intervened, holding onto his shoulders. “What do you want, Milo?”
He then grabbed a pair of the sunglasses, placing them on my face before taking one of the large, pink hats and putting it on my head. He then let out one of his big, grunty laughs.
“I’m sorry,” Amber said to the saleswoman.
“No problem. He reminds me of my nephew,” she said.
We were all laughing at that point.
Apparently, Milo had gotten his fill after emasculating me. He began to just walk away. Amber chased after him as I placed the items back on the cart.
When I caught up to them, she looked frazzled then said, “I normally wouldn’t take him some place like this with a lot of knick knacks without a second set of hands. I’m glad you were here.”
“I don’t know how you do it.”
“You mean…take him out?”
“Yeah, by yourself.”
“Well, he has to learn. He has to learn to live in this world. If that means some embarrassing moments and what sometimes looks like male-female wrestling to the outside observer, then so be it. But if people don’t like it, that’s their problem, not mine.”
I really admired her for that attitude and honestly, Milo was one damn lucky fucker.
We ended up getting ice cream from Ben & Jerry’s. Milo got a massive cone of the strawberry flavor while Amber and I each got small cups of mint chocolate chip. We sat down on a couple of benches in the marketplace. It was now evening, and the sun had gone down over the popular city attraction.
Amber and Milo were across from me on their own bench when almost his entire dollop of ice cream fell off his sugar cone and onto Amber’s chest. Before she could even react, he faceplanted into her cleavage, licking up the entire dollop back into his mouth in one swoop. It had all happened so fast that Amber just sat there looking stunned. Ice cream was dripping down into her shirt.