He closed his eyes. So much for our salacious rendezvous. I laughed, eventually getting up, crawling over to him, and joining him under the covers. The bed was firm, and the pillows were plush. My body sank into the Tempurpedic mattress.
He handed me the remote. “You get to choose what to watch. They have On Demand.”
“You’re gonna regret that decision, because I’ll just watch reality TV on Bravo.”
“I’ll survive.”
He asked for it. I immediately put on one of the Real Housewives episodes. It had been a while since I’d binge watched this show.
Channing and I settled into our respective pillows. He really made an effort to try to understand what he was watching. His questions were making me laugh.
“Do women actually act like this?”
“Not the women I know personally.”
“So, let me get this straight. Why do they all hate that one chick?”
“They just do.”
“I haven’t made out one word in the last five minutes. How can you understand what they’re saying if they’re all talking over each other?”
That cracked me up. “You don’t. You just watch.”
By pretending to be into my show, Channing had managed to make me forget all about my nerves from earlier. I’d nearly forgotten why we’d come here were it not for the fact that our bodies were ever so slowly molding closer and closer together in a natural way. The side of my leg was up against his, and the heat of his body was ever-present, but I was no longer nervous or stressed. His large foot gently rubbed against mine as we watched, the soft material of his sock caressing my bare foot. He was slowly easing me into things in his own way. It was working.
After nearly an hour passed, I wanted him to know that I hadn’t forgotten why we were here. In a brazen move, I slipped my top over my head, keeping my bra on.
He moved closer and whispered in my ear, “Are we playing strip poker, and I didn’t realize it?”
God, what just the feeling of his breath in my ear did to my body.
“I wanted to get more comfortable,” I said.
His eyes fell to my breasts that were spilling out of my pink, lace bra. My erect nipples tingled, yearning for his mouth on me.
When his eyes met mine again, I said, “Can I ask you a question?”
“Anything.” He then placed his firm hand on my hip, and every inch of my body reacted to just that simple touch.
I looked down and could see that his erection was straining against his jeans. Knowing he was perpetually hard for me was perhaps the biggest turn on.
“That night when you told me about Gentleman Nine, you said you’ve fantasized about me since you were sixteen. I would’ve never thought that. I guess…I just don’t get it.”
His hand was still on my hip. Lightly squeezing my side, he said, “What don’t you get?”
“You never said anything or gave me any hints. I mean, I had no idea.”
“That’s because I was good at hiding it.”
“I know. But why? Why didn’t you say anything to me?”
“Well, for one, you were my sister’s best friend. If I’d asked you out and fucked things up, I wouldn’t have forgiven myself, whether that happened before or after she…” He hesitated.
I didn’t want him to have to finish that sentence. “Yeah, I get it,” I said, placing my hand in his hair.
Channing closed his eyes for a moment as I ran my fingers through his thick, silky strands. He was so beautiful. It was odd to call a man beautiful, I suppose. But that was the best word to describe him. He was so beautiful to me, and I couldn’t believe I was freely touching him like this.
“So…why is this okay now, Channing? Our arrangement? I’m still that same person. Why is it okay to play around with each other like this now? I’m still me and you’re still you.”
“Because we have a mutual understanding of what we’d both be getting out of it. So, we can’t get hurt. Neither one of us is looking for a relationship, and we’re clear on that. When you’re a teenager, you’re too immature to make that kind of a decision.”
“Makes sense, I guess.” Since we were being honest, I said, “I’ve always had a massive crush on you, not just because of your looks but because of your personality, too. That’s kind of embarrassing to admit, but given I’m half-naked in bed with you right now, I guess I’ve made it clear how I feel anyway.”
He surprised me when he asked, “Why didn’t you say anything to me back then?”
“Would it have mattered? Everything you just said implies you wouldn’t have pursued me.”
“It might have changed things if I knew how you really felt. I mean, I know why I never said anything to you. Like I said, I had my reasons. But why didn’t you ever say anything to me? We spent a lot of time together.”