Boris struggled to get up from his seat before walking over to the kitchen.
Left alone with Stephanie and her family, I flashed an awkward smile then dove back into my cake, forcing some of it down.
I could overhear Boris talking to Rory from where I was sitting. Since his hearing was going, he didn’t do a very good job of whispering.
“I’m sorry, Rory. I didn’t tell Stephanie what was going on because I didn’t think it was my place.”
“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. I’m good. I just needed a breather.”
“She’s lovely, son. I hope it works out.”
Unable to take it anymore, I placed my plate down on the coffee table and headed to the kitchen. Boris made his way back to the living room when he noticed me enter.
Rory poured himself some liquor. He didn’t look up when he said, “You didn’t have to get up. I’m a big boy.”
Placing my hand on his arm, I said, “I know you are. You’re the strongest person I know.”
He froze for a moment upon my touch. “Are you having an okay time?”
“Yeah…everyone is really nice. I’m pleasantly surprised at how comfortable I am here.” As he downed the alcohol, I said, “You sure you’re okay?”
He placed the glass on the counter. “I’m good. I already said that. I’m great. Why don’t you go back to the living room. I’ll be right there, okay?”
I searched his face for the truth. “Alright.”
He really wasn’t okay, but I had to respect his wishes.
We didn’t have a clear plan for the rest of the evening. I assumed I’d be going upstairs with him, and that worried me a little, mainly because I didn’t know how to handle myself alone with him anymore.
Rory somehow got finagled into making a gingerbread house with Sophie. I watched as he patiently helped her piece everything together.
I was certain that Rory would make a wonderful father someday, regardless of whether the child was his biologically or not. I’d always known that about him because of how well he always took care of me.
Boris took me aside while Rory was still in deep with the gingerbread house.
“Can I talk to you for a minute, darling?”
Taken aback, I stood up from my seat. “Of course.”
Rory’s eyes darted over to me when he noticed me walking away with the old man. He looked a little alarmed.
Offering a reassuring smile, I mouthed, “It’s fine.”
He led me down the hall and into his bedroom, which was more like a shrine to the woman I could only assume was his late wife. There were pictures of her and him everywhere, taking up almost every inch of space on his bureau and walls. The décor in the room was still quite feminine, likely her touches that he never wanted to change.
He picked up one of the framed photos. That’s my Ellie. See…in the end, all you have are memories. But you get to choose now who stars in the movie that is your life.” He put the photo back. “He really deeply loves you.”
I swallowed. “I know.”
“He told me the whole story…about this Fanning. He’s worried that you’ve really fallen in love with him and that it’s too late.”
“Channing,” I corrected.
“Yeah. Okay, whatever. Anyway, I know this isn’t a simple situation. You might be thinking that I asked you to come in here so that I can convince you to take Rory back, but I’m not gonna do such a thing. I would never tamper with a situation that isn’t any of my business. No one can tell someone who to love.” He pointed to his chest. “The answer is already in your heart…somewhere in here, and it’s not going to come from me or anyone else. Only you know what you really want. What I can ask you is to not waste his time or lead him on if you figure it out and have no intention of being with him. He may be putting on a strong front, but he’s not that strong. He’s not stupid, either. He takes full responsibility for the decision he made when he broke up with you. He doesn’t expect sympathy. He just wants your love if it’s still there, and he’s willing to swallow his pride to get it back. If it’s not there anymore, then let him find the person he can make memories with.”
The thought of Rory moving on with someone else was still a painful one. Old habits die hard.
“I promise, I don’t want to string him along. I’m still trying to figure out what’s inside. It feels like a jumbled mess right now, and it’s literally making me ill. I feel this constant pain inside of my chest that had never been there before, because I’m in love with both of them.”
“You might think so, but you can’t really be in love with two people. You want to love them both because you care for them both. The stress of not wanting anyone to get hurt is suppressing your ability to decipher your true feelings. Don’t force it. Let it come to you.”