After she answered, I said, “Melody?”
“Gia?”
She knew it was me. Rush must have told her to expect my call.
“Hi. I…uh…Rush told me it would be okay if I called you.”
“Of course. He told me about your news. I would say congratulations, but I remember how that felt when people used to say it to me in the beginning. You don’t feel ready for that because you’re still harboring so much doubt about your abilities.” She sighed into the phone. “Everything will be okay, Gia. I know it may not seem like that right now.”
Her calming words made me even more emotional. Is this what it’s like to have a mother to talk to?
I didn’t waste any time getting to the point. “Would it be okay if I came to see you…to talk in person?”
“Of course. Are you sure you’re feeling up to driving out here, because I could go there?”
“I’d actually like to come see you. I think I need to get out of town for a bit.”When I told Rush I was planning to go see his mother, he refused to let me drive my car, fearing it wouldn’t make it all the way there.
He rented me a comfortable Honda CRV, despite my insistence that he not worry about me. But once on the freeway, I was grateful not to have to white knuckle my way through the ride.
On the way to Melody’s, I grabbed a decaf tea from Starbucks and put on a romance audiobook about this hot Australian guy and a damn goat. The weather was perfect for a long ride, and it ended up being very relaxing, just what I needed to clear my head somewhat before seeing her.
Melody was gardening outside when I pulled into her driveway. She brushed the dirt off her smock and came over to the car. I rolled down the window.
“You made it in good time.” She smiled.
“Yeah. Traffic was light.”
We stepped inside. It was comforting to be back in her home, surrounded by all of the bright colors and paintings. Melody had a very Bohemian style, and there was a zen vibe throughout the place.
We sat down in her kitchen where she’d set up a fruit and cheese plate along with a large pitcher of lemonade.
I clasped my hands together and rested my elbows on the table. “Thank you for meeting me. I know how strange this must be…to be talking to your son’s ex-girlfriend who’s pregnant by someone else.”
She shook her head as if to tell me my concerns were unfounded. “It’s my pleasure, Gia. I was definitely surprised when Rush told me and a little disappointed, to be honest.” She quickly placed her hand on mine to clarify. “Not in you…just in the fact that I knew what that might mean for you and my son.”
Yeah.
I really hoped she wouldn’t judge me because of how I’d gotten myself into this predicament—via a one-night stand. At least with Rush’s dad, she’d been in an actual relationship, at least from her point of view.
“I don’t know how much Rush told you…” I said.
“He told me everything. You don’t have to explain anything to me about how it happened. I’m up to speed on that. Don’t stress out over explaining a thing.” She reached her hand across the table again, placing it on my arm. “How are you?”
Blowing out a shaky breath, I said, “Not too good. I feel guilty for feeling so sad—because that’s no way to bring a child into this world. And I’m afraid that all of my negative energy will somehow affect the baby. But it’s really hard to be happy when you feel like your world has turned upside down.”
She looked sad for me. “I’m so sorry. But I assure you it’s temporary. Things always get better, not necessarily easy, but better.”
“Can you tell me a little about what your experience was like when you found out you were pregnant with Rush?”
Melody closed her eyes momentarily then said, “Well, you know, my situation wasn’t that much different than yours. His father wasn’t in the picture. I think what helped me in the beginning were a few things. Learning to take things one day at a time and understanding that you don’t have to do more than that…is really key. It’s all so overwhelming, that even thinking about it can be enough to make you go crazy. There are so many things you feel you need to do to prepare, but really the only thing you need to do right now is to breathe and to take care of yourself. There’s no reason that you can’t just take each moment as it comes. You don’t have to deal with everything all at once, and you certainly don’t have to have all of the answers.”
Her words brought me a little comfort. “That’s always easier said than done, but I will really try to remember that.”