He sighed. “I can’t. I need to start figuring things out. My father would’ve expected me to step into action, so that’s what I need to be doing. So, back to business in the AM. Although, I did cancel the China trip.”
I rubbed my hands over his arms wrapped around me. “I’m so proud of you. I’ve been meaning to tell you that.”
He held me tighter. “I suddenly really want to skip breakfast. The only thing I want to eat right now is you.”
Lorena stuck her head out the door and yelled, “Hope you’re hungry!”
He flipped me around, then spoke over my lips. “I’m fucking starving.”***Later that morning, Ryder insisted on paying for parking at LAX to accompany me inside. When he’d taken me as far as he was allowed to go, we stopped and stared at each other.
“You know what I wish?” he asked.
“What?”
“I wish we could fly to Catalina Island right now and run away from everything, have a quiet few days together. I want that more than anything.”
“That sounds like a dream.”
He had stars in his eyes. “Someday we’ll go there. We’ll figure out a way, even if I have to pay Camille a shit ton of money to watch Ollie.” He grabbed my face and brought my lips to his. “Fuck. I don’t want to let you go.” He pulled me close and held me. We rocked back and forth for a while.
As hopeful as he was making things sound with fantasies of trips to Catalina, I was still terrified of the coming weeks.
What if this is the last time he ever holds me like this?
It was technically possible. I held him tighter, cherishing his smell and the warmth of his body.
“Goodbye, Ryder.”
“Goodbye, baby. Be safe.”
My heart dipped a little, wishing he’d said the three words I longed to hear. But he didn’t.
As I tried to walk away, he kept holding my hand and wouldn’t let it go. He suddenly pulled me back into him and planted the hardest kiss on my mouth. My bag dropped to the ground as I ran my fingers through his hair and accepted everything he gave me with every inch of my soul.
I had to pry myself from him, wiping tears from my eyes as I walked away, hoping I would get to experience that kind of kiss with him again.CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE* * *RYDERA week after my father’s funeral, I was still no closer to determining the future of the company.
There were only two things keeping me going: nightly chats with Eden and daily emails from Ollie. I couldn’t imagine how alone I’d feel without them in my life.
And I sort of did…a thing.
I knew Eden wasn’t comfortable if she knew I was watching her during her show. So I created a fake profile so I could log in and “spend more time” with her without making her nervous. My new screen name was AssLover433.
Not only would I watch her while logged in under that name, but when I wanted to amuse myself, I’d interact with her and ask her really stupid questions. The best was when she’d complain to me during our midnight chat about how annoying AssLover was. In those moments it took everything in me not to bust out laughing. I would tell her eventually, and I was certain we’d have a good laugh about it. In the meantime, I was having too much fun.
As I sat in the middle of yet another board meeting—this time on a Saturday—to discuss the fate of the studio, I decided to check my email.A message from Ollie Shortsleeve using VoiceText300:Dear Ryder,Can you call me? I need your help. It’s important, but don’t sound weird if Eden picks up. Please call soon.OllieThat was odd. He never asked me to call him. My heart began to pound.
Excusing myself from the meeting, I walked down the hall and outside to the rear of the building. The sun was blazing as I dialed Eden’s house number.
After a couple of rings, she picked up. “Ryder?”
“Hey,” I said.
“What’s up? I wasn’t expecting you to call me.”
“Well, technically, I’m not calling for you. Ollie asked me to call him.”
“Really? Okay. He’s just in his room. Hang on.”
After a pause, I heard her say, “Ollie? Ryder’s on the phone for you.”
“Can you go back in the kitchen?” he asked her.
“Why? What don’t you want me to hear?”
“Just…please?” he begged.
Eden sighed, and then I heard him come on the line.
He whispered, “Ryder?”
“Hey, buddy. Everything alright?”
“No.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Something is wrong with me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Something…happened. And I don’t know what it is. I want to know if you know what it is. And I can’t tell Eden.”
My pulse sped up, thinking maybe someone tried to touch him. “Okay. Talk to me.”
“I’m kind of embarrassed to tell you.”
Adrenaline ran through me. “Don’t be. You can tell me anything.”