Once inside, I saw that the hostess station was empty. It was late, probably close to closing time, so there were merely a few patrons. It only took a few seconds before my eyes landed on Charlotte. She was sitting in a corner booth, looking pensive as she chewed on the end of her pen. She then began writing something on a napkin. I chuckled, thinking that maybe the words were expletives and that she was cursing me.
I knew I needed to apologize, but in that moment I much preferred just watching her without her knowing it. I could put my guard up as much as I wanted in front of her, but lying to myself was a lot harder; it was impossible. There was no part of me that truly disliked this woman. I only disliked the fact that she reminded me of all the things I was trying to forget. It was more than just her prying that got to me. Plain and simple, the joyful attitude that always resonated from Charlotte reminded me of a time in my life when I was happy. That was painful to think about, particularly the fact that a part of me still yearned for that happiness.
I made my way toward her and decided to bust her balls. “Did they run out of coloring books?”
She jumped. Whatever she was writing down, she was so into it that she hadn’t noticed me standing just to her right.
She flipped the napkin over. “What are you doing here?”
“I heard there was an all-you-can-eat salad bar. And I could use a drink.”
“And a chill pill.”
“I can’t mix the two, so I’ll settle for a beer.” I sat down across from her. “Am I allowed to join you?”
“I’m not sure if I like the idea of you trying to weasel your way into my dining experience, Eastwood.”
Weasel. She was using my own terminology against me. Fuck. I deserved it.
Sucking up my pride, I forced out an apology. “I’m sorry that I used that term in reference to you, earlier. And I’m sorry that I lost my temper.”
“You could’ve just said you didn’t want to talk about it. You don’t have to be so mean about everything.” Her face was red. She was really angry.
“You’re right.”
Charlotte’s brow furrowed. “You’re agreeing with me? That’s a first.”
“There were a lot of firsts for me today.”
“Like what?”
The waitress came by to take my order, interrupting my ability to address Charlotte’s question. When we were alone again, she pushed for an answer.
“So, what firsts?”
“Well . . .” I scratched the scruff on my chin. “This is the first time I’ve ever set foot inside a Ruby Tuesday.” I laughed. “Today also featured the first time I’ve ever ridden in a Mini. First time I’ve ever stayed in a Holiday Inn. First time I’ve ever been in a car accident . . .”
She looked shocked. “Really?”
“Yes. Thanks to you.”
“Thanks to me? You were the one driving.”
“You distracted me.”
“You weren’t paying attention. That’s why you didn’t see the squirrel.”
That’s right. I wasn’t paying attention because my eyes were glued to your legs. Just like they’re currently glued to your lips.
“Maybe I was a little distracted.” Our eyes locked for a moment of silence before I changed the subject. “So what were you writing down?”
She placed her hand over the napkin, preventing me from taking it. “I’m not sure I really want to tell you.”
“Why is that?”
“For some reason, I think you’ll make fun of me,” she said, her expression serious.
Boy, she really had me pegged as an insensitive asshole.
“Nothing with you really surprises me anymore, Charlotte. I’m well prepared for anything at this point. Try me.”
She flipped the napkin over and hesitantly slid it in front of me.
It was a numbered list she had started. At the top it said Fuck-It List.
“‘Fuck-It List’? What is this?”
“It’s like a bucket list. But I’m calling mine a Fuck-It List because that’s how I truly feel. Life is short, and we should never just assume we have all the time in the world to do the things we want to do. So fuck it! I mean, we almost died today.”
Her comment caused me to belt out in laughter. “We almost died? Isn’t that a little bit of an exaggeration? It was a chain-reaction fender bender at best. What would we call our demise . . . like . . . Death by Squirrel?”
“You know what I mean! It could have been a lot worse. None of us know when our time is going to come. So this whole experience today has motivated me to think about doing some of the things I’ve been putting off.”
“Are these in order of importance?”
“No. Just in the order that they came to my mind. I’ve only just started. I have to really think about the rest.”