Finishing the glass of wine, I took a deep breath and picked up the phone.
It rang once.
Then a second time.
My mother answered on the third ring.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Charlotte? Is everything okay?” I heard the panic in her voice. I called every Sunday afternoon like clockwork, but it was Friday night now.
“Yes. Everything is great.”
“Oh. Okay. Well, that’s good. What are you up to this evening?”
“Umm . . .” I thought about chickening out. But then I thought about what Iris had said—“keep pushing yourself.” “I’m actually making a list of things I want to do. Sort of like a bucket list but not, since I’m not sick or old.”
“Are you sure everything’s okay, sweetheart?”
I’d called off-schedule and started talking about making a bucket list. I should’ve realized that she’d be alarmed. I needed to explain myself better, or she’d be worried. “Yes, everything is really good, Mom. I just . . . I kind of forgot who I was when Todd and I were together. I sort of merged into his life and put things that I wanted out of life on the back burner. So I made a list of things I wanted to do, to remind myself to live my life for me. If that makes any sense?”
“It does. And it sounds like you’ve done a lot of soul-searching. I’m happy to hear you say you’re going to focus on yourself. I hope none of the things are too dangerous, though.”
“They’re not.”
Mom stayed quiet for a long time. She knew me. “Is there anything on your list that I might be able to help with?”
I took another deep breath. “Yeah, Mom . . . there is.”
“I’ve been thinking about taking a trip into the city. Why don’t I come in on Sunday, so we can talk in person?”
“I’d like that.”
“Okay. How about around noon, then?”
“That’s perfect.”
We talked for a little while longer, skirting around the issue we both knew was on the horizon. She asked the usual—about my job, friends, finances. Right before we hung up, she said, “Charlotte—you have nothing to feel guilty about. I know you love me.”
My shoulders relaxed. “Thanks, Mom.”On Monday morning, I arrived at the office earlier than usual. I’d planned on getting a head start on my day so that I could leave on time and go over to the Centre for Arts to sign up for a sculpting class.
But I’d gotten so distracted reading on my phone while I waited for the coffee to finish brewing that I hadn’t even realized the sensor had beeped, indicating it was done, and that someone had walked up behind me. “Baseball? I didn’t realize you were a fan.”
Startled, I bobbled the phone, and it fell to the ground. “You scared the hell out of me.”
Reed bent over and picked up my cell. “You’re extra jumpy this morning, even for you.” He glanced at the screen. “Are you going to the game tonight?”
“What game?”
He smirked. “Guess that answers that question.” He handed me my phone, pulled our mugs down from the cabinet, and began to pour coffee. “I saw the Houston Astros logo on your phone when I walked in. You were reading stats, weren’t you?”
“Oh. Yes.”
He arched a brow. “Baseball fan?”
“Not really.”
“Gambling?”
“Huh?”
“Why else would someone be reading baseball stats if they weren’t going to a game, a fan of baseball, or gambling?”
“I just . . . I find statistics fascinating.”
Reed gave me a face that said bullshit.
“What? I do.”
He finished making our coffees and handed me my mug. Sipping his, he looked straight into my eyes. “What’s the real reason, Charlotte?”
I sighed. I had no reason to lie to him. Yet talking about wanting to find my birth parents out loud always made me feel like I was betraying my adopted mother. I struggled, even though she’d assured me that wasn’t the case last night. Reed had already seen my Fuck-It List, so he’d understand. “I spoke to my mother about my adoption yesterday. I pretty much knew almost everything she told me already. The only real new information I found out was that when they found me at the hospital, I was wrapped in a Houston Astros blanket.”
Something flickered across Reed’s face. “A Houston Astros blanket?”
I nodded. “I didn’t know what the logo looked like, so I searched for it on the internet, and I wound up on the team’s site. I guess I got sucked into reading all the statistics while my mind wandered.”
He stared at me, yet his eyes seemed to lose focus. Reed was definitely acting strange. I joked, “Are you a Yankees fan, and we can’t be friends or something? Since I was swaddled in an Astros blanket?”
“I gotta go,” he said abruptly. “I have an appointment I’m late for.”CHAPTER 29
REED
The Texas lead was huge.
Josh ended up spending two weeks in Houston on my dime. I needed more time to figure out how to handle telling Charlotte what was going on, and how to get her mind off finding her birth parents until I could be absolutely sure how I was going to approach this.