Reed’s eyes lifted to mine, and he seemed to mull over what I asked. Although hesitant, he wouldn’t deny me anything in the moment. He closed his eyes and nodded.
The air conditioning was frigid, making wearing wet clothes unbearably cold. Even wrapped in a dry towel, I still trembled. Reed had to be freezing, yet he didn’t show it. He unbuttoned his drenched shirt and let it fall to the pile on the floor of the tub. His thin undershirt followed next. He hesitated at the button of his jeans, looking up at me one more time before opening them. I stared, waiting, until he continued. He peeled one pant leg down his long leg and then the other before bending to step out.
When he stood back up, I realized why he’d been so hesitant.
The thick bulge in his boxers made my heart pound.
Reed looked down at the erection protruding from the wet fabric. A frown marred his beautiful face. “I’m sorry. I . . . I can’t help it.”
“Don’t be,” I whispered. “I’d be disappointed if you weren’t.”
He searched my face, swallowed, and reached up to hook his thumbs into the waistband of his boxer briefs.
I held my breath while he stripped out of his underwear. His rock-hard cock bobbed against his lower belly as it sprang free. It didn’t matter that the room was freezing and we stood among a pile of soaked clothes, a sudden warmth spread all over my body.
Reed watched my eyes while they roamed all over his gorgeous skin. I’d never seen a body so perfect—defined abs, broad shoulders, a narrow waist, but it was his undeniable arousal that my eyes kept coming back to. When I unconsciously licked my lips, Reed groaned. “Fuck, Charlotte. Don’t look at me like that.”
My eyes jumped to his. “Like what?”
“Like if I told you to drop to your knees and suck me off, that it would make you feel better. Like it would make that smile that I miss so much return to your sweet face.”
I looked down and then back up under my lashes. “What else do you think would make me smile?”
“Charlotte . . . ,” he warned.
The mood shifted. We both felt it. Tension crackled in the air. It was pretty insane how my emotions could jump from needing him to hold me while I wept to needing him inside of me in such a short period of time. While I was reasonably certain I was currently unstable, I was also absolutely positive that I wouldn’t regret anything that happened between the two of us. Whatever incited the spark to flame didn’t matter; I wanted to feel the burn.
I took a tentative step closer to him. He might never give me his heart, but I wanted to at least pretend he was mine for one day. The closeness between us the last week, the way he’d kept me standing when I was ready to fall, it was easy to feel like we were really a couple. I needed to feel the rest. My heart thumped against the walls of my rib cage. “I want you, Reed. I just want to feel something that isn’t painful tonight.” My gaze dropped to his wide crown before I looked back up and our eyes met. “Well, that thing might be painful, but it’s a different kind of pain.”
Reed’s nostrils flared. He was a bull watching the red cape swing around from behind a latched gate. I wanted to swing the fence wide open and see him charge. Reaching up to the knot in the towel he’d wrapped around me, I loosened it and it tumbled to the ground.
The muscle in Reed’s jaw flexed as his eyes traveled all over me. His voice was strained. “You don’t want this, Charlotte. You don’t understand.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Reed. I do understand. After the last week, I understand better than anyone. Because I would rather have had these last nine days with my mother that ended in pain than never have known her at all. I don’t care if our time is shorter or more difficult—I just want whatever it is we can have.”
His chest heaved up and down. “You’re destroyed from nine days. Think of what it would be like after nine years if I’m not lucky.”
I closed the remaining distance between us so that our skin touched and looked up at him defiantly. “Think of what we could have for those nine years.”
He bowed his head. “I can’t hurt you, Charlotte. I just can’t.”
I felt him slipping away again. The window began to close at the mention of anything long-term. Reed wouldn’t promise me anything that involved commitment because he didn’t think he could fulfill it the way I needed him to. But tonight I needed him, no matter what. In any way, shape, or form. I’d take whatever part of him he was able to give, even if it wasn’t his heart. “Then just give me tonight. I need you, Reed. Help me forget.” I wasn’t above begging. “Just one night.”