I watched as she pinned him down into a mount position, which immobilized him. Then she locked her legs under his.
Holy shit. This girl is a badass. I didn’t know what I’d been expecting, but this wasn’t exactly it.
The instructor stopped the action from time to time to explain various things to the less-experienced people in the class.
“You see how when he’s on the ground, his arm can only go so far back? If he tries to punch from this position, his power is limited, giving her an advantage.”
At one point, Raven lost control, and the guy got her pinned down. Once again I found my blood pressure rising.
Get the fuck off my girl.
Rather than try to get up, she somehow locked her legs around his back. The instructor explained that Raven’s goal wasn’t to get up, but rather to keep her opponent down.
I swear, I’d never wanted to kill another person as much as I wanted to kill this dude for getting to tumble around on the floor with her. But damn, she really could handle him. Even when she lost control, she knew how to gain it back.
A strong sense of relief came over me when the session ended. As thrilling as it was to see her in action, I didn’t think I could endure much more.
My short-lived peace ended when the guy she’d been practicing with came up behind her. I listened intently from my corner.
“Raven, wait,” he called.
“What’s up?”
“You wanna go grab a coffee or something?”
“No. I can’t. I’m sorry. My friend is here waiting.”
He looked seriously disappointed. Get in line, asshole.
“Okay. Maybe another time,” he said.
“Yeah.”
Yeah? She plans to go out with him? Or was she just trying to be nice?
With what felt like smoke coming out of my ears, I waited as she got changed.
About five minutes later, Raven finally emerged from the locker room.
“What did you think?” she asked.
I think I’m a hopeless, jealous prick.
As we walked together to the door, I tried hard not to let my funk show.
“I can’t even believe what I just witnessed. You’re so damn good.”
She looked proud. “Thank you. It’s definitely a passion.”
“I can tell. I was surprised that your class was co-ed, just because some of the moves are—”
“They look sexual.”
Even hearing her admit it brought out that weird rage again.
“Yeah. You were basically mounting him. I wanted to punch that guy so many times. He seemed to like it…a lot. So much so, he wanted…coffee.”
“Today was the first day he ever insinuated anything. He’s no one, Gavin.”
“He’s no one who wants to fuck you.” Jesus. Can you at least try to hide it? I shook my head. “I’m sorry. That was out of line.”
Raven said nothing in response to my little outburst. I could only imagine what she was thinking.
We got into my car and stayed parked, sitting in tense silence.
“Anyway, I think it’s cool the class is co-ed,” I said, trying to break the ice. “That really helped me see that it’s about skill, not size.”
“The way my instructor explained it when I signed up is that in the real world, you wouldn’t get a choice about who you’re up against in an attack, so it’s beneficial for me to work with both men and women.”
“That makes sense. And I know you said it’s not all about self-defense for you, but it still has to be so empowering.”
“Yeah. I mean, I never want to feel vulnerable. Knowing what my mother went through with my father, I feel more secure about handling the unexpected with these skills—even if I don’t want to ever have to use them for that purpose. It also keeps my mind focused. When I’m really into it, it’s impossible to dwell on stuff that’s bothering me. So, in the moment, it helps me to not worry.”
“What do you worry about?”
“A lot of things...but mainly not finding my purpose in life. I don’t feel like I have any clue why I’m here yet—on this planet, you know?”
“So you feel like everyone was put here for a specific reason?”
“Yes, I do.”
“It will come to you. I don’t know what I’m doing with my life, either. But I don’t think we’re required to know right now. We probably have a lot of fucking up to do before we figure it out.”
“It’s funny,” she said. “I used to feel badly for my mother—that she never got to go to college and was stuck cleaning houses. But the more I watch her, the more I realize she’s damn good at what she does. She’s not just cleaning. She’s running a whole house most days and doing it with a smile. So maybe that’s her purpose. And there’s nothing wrong with that.”
I knew my father really respected Renata. I’d overheard enough conversations between them to know they were fond of each other. I didn’t think anything inappropriate was going on, but I knew there was mutual admiration.