“I can tell.”
“I’ve never felt this way before, and I’m not sure how to handle it.”
Rubbing my finger along his beautiful, full lips, I said, “I assumed you knew exactly how to handle a girl in your bed.”
“You’re not just some girl, Raven. And for the record, you’re the first girl I’ve ever brought to this bed.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve never brought a girl in here.”
What? “You never snuck in your high school girlfriend?”
He shook his head. “Nope. My mother was always freaking home.”
“Wow.”
“You’re my first here, and I like that.” His smile faded when he caught the worry in my expression. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I just have this feeling I can’t seem to shake—that you’re gonna break my heart, whether you intend to or not.”
He blew out a breath. “How do I take that away?”
“You really can’t.” I moved in closer, tracing my finger over his cleft chin. “But here’s the thing. No matter what happens between us, I want to know what it’s like to be with you, to make love to you. I want that experience. I want my first time to be with someone I trust. And I do trust you.”
He pushed back a little. “But you just told me you think I’m gonna hurt you.”
“I don’t think you’ll intentionally hurt me. I’m just scared about what life might throw our way. We may end up getting hurt even if we don’t mean to hurt each other.”
“It’s interesting, because you’ve always reminded me of porcelain—first because of your skin, but also because porcelain is somehow tempting to touch, even though we know we can destroy it very easily. You never mean to break it, but sometimes it slips and breaks anyway. I’m afraid to break you. And I don’t ever want you to do anything you’ll regret. You mean more to me than my dick.”
“That’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me,” I teased.
He wasn’t laughing. “What I mean is...I care about you more than I want you. And that’s new for me. The last thing I ever want to do is hurt you.”
I could see in his eyes that every word of that was true.
We had one opportunity together in this house, and I wanted to experience everything with him. We would never have a hundred-percent certainty about anything.
“You’re afraid to hurt me, but you do want me right now, right?”
His eyes were glassy. “Of course. More than I’ve ever wanted anything.”
“Don’t worry about hurting me.”
He placed his hand on my waist and squeezed. “What are you saying?”
“Give me everything. I want this. I want you.”
He took a long time to process my words. “You’re sure?”
“Yes.”
“I hope you mean it, because I’m too damn weak to turn you down right now.”
Those were his last words before I felt his body against me, his lips on mine, the heat of his erection against my stomach. My heart pounded out of my chest. I’d officially made the decision to sleep with him. There was no turning back. He already had my heart, but I was going to give him every other part of me. And it couldn’t happen fast enough.
Gavin growled into my mouth as our kiss grew more intense. Unable to get enough of his sweetness, I flicked my tongue faster. I raked my fingers through his hair as the muscles between my legs throbbed. Needing to feel his heat, I slipped my hand down the waistband of his pants and wrapped my fingers around his cock. Gavin’s dick was thick and long. It felt so silky smooth. When I began to pump it in my hand, his breath hitched and his heart beat faster against my chest.
“Fuck.” He spoke over my lips. “Slow down.”
“Sorry.”
“Shit. Don’t apologize. It feels so good, but too good.”
“You want me to stop?”
He pressed himself against me. “Fuck no.”
Continuing to stroke him, I said, “I want to feel this inside of me.”
“It’s probably gonna hurt.” He paused. “Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?”
“Yes. I just don’t want to suck at it.”
He laughed a little. “Trust me, Raven. I want to come right now from just looking at you. There is absolutely nothing you can do or not do that would make getting to have you anything less than the best experience of my life. Take my word on that. There’s no wrong way to do this. Just be with me.”
I took a deep breath. “I do want this.”
“Then I need to make you really wet first.”
My mouth curved into a smile. “I can live with that.”
He lifted the shirt over my head and unsnapped my bra before lowering his mouth to my breasts. He slowly circled his tongue over my nipple, alternating between that and gentle bites. The feel of his wet tongue, combined with the heat of his breath, sent currents of desire through my body. He took his sweet time, worshipping me. I loved feeling how hard he was through his underwear as he sucked my breasts, making me wetter with each second that passed.