I sighed. “I guess . . . well . . . you said you weren’t sharing me, and I was just thinking you must have dozens of women ready to drop to their knees after a concert. Or at the snap of your fingers, even.”
Griffin held my eyes. “I wish I could make you feel better by telling you that I don’t. But I’m not going to lie to you. There definitely is opportunity. But that doesn’t mean I want to take it. I know you just got here, and our situation is a little unique, but I wasn’t kidding when I said you were my girl. You are my girl, Luca. And you know what? That’s probably not the most convenient thing for either one of us, considering our circumstances. But that doesn’t change how I feel. I haven’t been with another woman in almost two months—since you answered my first letter again. Just because I might have women willing doesn’t mean I’m willing. You’re my girl, Luca. We’re going to figure this shit out.”
My eyes started to water. I wanted to have his optimism and courage, but I was terrified. Griffin had been honest with me, so I did the same. “I’m scared to be your girl.”
He smiled sadly and cupped my cheek. “It’s okay. I know you, Luca. Being scared only lasts for a little while, then you do something brave. We’re not in a rush. We’ve waited so many years already. What’s a little longer?”
I turned my head into his hand and kissed his palm. “Thank you, Griffin.”
He kissed my forehead and kept his lips pressed against me. I felt his smile grow against my skin. “Pretty sure I should be thanking you after what just went down.”CHAPTER 18
GRIFFINI really wanted Luca to enjoy her last hours in California. I knew that meant doing everything in my power to make sure we continued to avoid crowds tonight. While I hoped that someday she could overcome her phobia, it wasn’t going to happen overnight and certainly not during this trip. I had to roll with it and try not to push her in any way.
Aiden had arranged for a car to pick us up at my house. The driver was instructed to take back roads. I’d rented a private room at my favorite restaurant, which had a back entrance frequently offered up to celebrities. It allowed access right into a dining room, which was kept separate from where the other patrons ate. I knew the manager pretty well and trusted his discretion. Marcus was also good at making sure his employees kept mum about my presence. So I felt confident taking Luca there.
She and I sat across from each other at our candlelit table, enjoying an intimate dinner. We dug into our salads while waiting for the main course.
Luca picked at her greens. “Is it weird that I’m actually going to miss the letters?”
“Not a bit. But who says they have to stop?”
“I guess we never discussed it. But I can’t imagine we’ll continue writing handwritten letters now that we’ve met?”
Putting my fork down and reaching across the table for her hand, I said, “I want to stay in touch, Luca. I want to hear from you every day whether it’s an e-mail, a phone call, or a fucking singing telegram from someone dressed as a wiener. I just want to hear from you.”
I could relate to that feeling of impending loss over the letters, though. Our invisible connection was a huge part of us. We would never experience that intimacy quite the same way ever again. I hoped things would be even better now, but Luca’s concerns about my life weren’t exactly unfounded. I just didn’t quite know if I would be able to prove her wrong about whether this could work. I had the will . . . but did I really have the way? My situation was complicated. Actually, it was more like a complete circus.
Our food finally arrived. I’d ordered the filet mignon and Luca got trout in a garlic-lemon sauce.
As I cut into my steak, I asked, “Have you heard from Doc?”
“He called me right before the car came to pick us up. The connection was staticky, so I couldn’t really make out what he was saying, but he sounded so happy. Where did you have the driver take him?”
“I called the zoo and asked if I could rent out the aviary after it closed. That’s where he is right now. He has it all to himself.”
Luca smiled wide. “Wow. He must be overjoyed. Thank you for arranging that. For someone who adopted a minimalist life back home, Doc sure seems to be getting acclimated to your pool house, housekeeper, and all of the special treatment.”
“Well, he’s welcome back anytime. Any friend of yours is a friend of mine. I hope you know that.”