He picked up. “Hello, son.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Not bad. Just came in from a walk. About to make a tuna sandwich.”
“How’s the weather down there?”
“It’s Florida. Hot with a chance of rain pretty much all of the time.”
“Yes, that’s true.”
“To what do I owe this phone call?”
“I actually need your advice.”
“That’s not something you often seek.”
“Well, this is one circumstance where I think you can actually be of some help. It involves lying. I’ve gotten myself into some deep shit.”
“Ah. Now, this is making sense.”
“I know you didn’t exactly hide your affairs from Mother very well. But essentially, you always seemed to be able to get back into her good graces…”
He interrupted, “Are you having an affair on someone?”
“No, I’m not a cheater, Dad. But I lied about my identity. The woman I’m dating thinks I’m someone else.”
“Are you ashamed of yourself or something?”
“It’s a long story. I thought she had some preconceived notions about rich and powerful men. I made a bad judgment call. Basically, I’m going to come clean to her soon and need to own up to my mistake. I just wondered if there was a trick to admitting a lie in a way that it would result in the least amount of damage.”
He chuckled. “Your mother was way too good to me, far too forgiving. She shouldn’t have been. There is no trick, Dex. If you’re lucky, this woman will see who you really are and forgive you. If you’re not lucky, I’m afraid there is nothing you can do to convince someone you’ve hurt that they should give you a second chance. That’s the price we pay for dishonesty. If she’s got it in her mind that you’re untrustworthy, there may be no turning back from that. I’ve learned that the hard way.”
My chest constricted. “Alright.”
He added, “I’ve lost good people in my lifetime who were right in their decision not to trust me.”
“Well, I was hoping this conversation would make me feel better, but I actually feel worse now.”
“Sorry, son. I’m just trying to be honest.”
“Oh, the irony.”
We both got a good laugh out of that. It felt weird to be laughing with Dexter Sr., bonding over our mutual indiscretions.
“Yeah.” He sighed.
“I’ll let you get back to your lunch, old man.”
“Keep in touch.”
“I will.”
I was about to hang up when he said, “Dex?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m proud of you for trying to be a better man than me. I hope you get out of this mess, hope you get the girl.”“Not exactly the tongue I want to taste.” Using the back of my hand, I wiped Bandit’s slobber from my mouth. It was the third day in a row I’d come to take my new buddy for a walk. Jay was officially dead, and Dex was too big of a pansy ass to come clean to Bianca, so the only connection I had to Georgy Girl was a hundred-pound, shit machine whose breath smelled like ass. Sadly, he was the best friend I had at the moment.
“What are we gonna do, buddy?” I was sitting on the park bench again, and Bandit sat down facing me. Perhaps I was losing my sanity, but when he quirked one ear up, I could have sworn he was listening—wanted to help me solve my woman problems. “Have you ever lost your shit over a woman? Done something really stupid that you couldn’t figure out how to make it right? I don’t know…maybe take a bitch’s bone and bury it when she wasn’t looking?”
Bandit lifted his paw and swatted my knee. I took that as a yes. Bandit was a bone thief. “You did, huh? Did you come clean and win her heart in the end?”
Bandit opened his mouth and let out a big yawn, then rested his long face on my lap.
“I’m even boring a dog with my life.” I scratched his head and sighed. “I just don’t know what to do. How do I explain why I kept up the charade for so long? Admit that I was afraid she wouldn’t like me if I was who I really am? Or admit that I really am the asshole she thought I was and that she probably wouldn’t like me much if we’d met under other circumstances?” The truth was, that was what I was really afraid of—that once she got to know the real me, she’d smarten up and find herself an honest bike messenger.
It was almost eight, and I was already an hour later than I should have been getting to the office, so I walked my new best friend back to the shelter. Suzette wasn’t around when I’d arrived an hour ago but was now working the counter. “Mr. Truitt. I’m glad I caught you. I wanted to let you know that Bandit is getting relocated to our farm upstate at the end of this week.”