I nodded toward the staff after they finished singing. “Thank you.” I turned to Dex. “Why do you do keep doing this again?”
“The birthday cake?”
“Yes.”
“Because I get to hear that same beautiful, embarrassed laugh over and over again. That alone makes it all worth it.” Dex would always say the same thing once we were fully left alone: “Make a wish and blow.” The way he said blow always sounded suggestive.
Despite his dirty mind, he continued to hold back on pressuring me to have sex. He was being ultra careful, almost too careful to not make any mistakes with me. We hadn’t slept in the same bed since the night Dex told me about our parents. Even then, he’d been cautious, intentionally holding back. Most evenings, he’d insist on sleeping at his own place after dropping me off.
Dex’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. “You know this isn’t just your problem, Bianca. It’s our problem. It involves my father just as much as it involves your mother. The blame doesn’t lie with any one person. Take some of the weight off of your shoulders and give it to me. I would take all of the burden, if I could.”
It was the first moment in my life that I felt like I had a partner in crime. I was starting to realize that, perhaps, Dex might have been here to stay.
“You’re not going anywhere, are you?”
“I couldn’t go if I tried, Bianca. Why did you even ask that? Have you been waiting for me go somewhere?”
“I don’t know. Maybe on some level I have. I think it just hit me that I have you, that you’re not going to leave me.”
“You’re finally realizing this?”
“I think I am.” I smiled.
Dex reached across the table and took my hands in his. “I’ve never felt connected to anyone like I do to you. It feels almost chemical. We haven’t known each other for that long, but in some ways, it seems like a hundred years, doesn’t it?”
I fully agreed.
“It does.”
“And I know this is going to sound strange, but I feel like this was all meant to happen, even the stuff with our parents. As sordid as it all may have been at the time, they had a connection, just like we do. And maybe there’s something to that. Maybe the predisposition toward each other is genetic or something. I don’t know. All I know is that…” He took a deep breath in and seemed to stop himself.
“What?”
Dex shook his head. “Nothing.”
“You were about to say something then stopped.”
“I was. I was about to say something…but it’s so important that I don’t feel like now is the right time. I don’t want it to be tainted by your anxious state.”
Hmm.
“Well, my anxiety isn’t going to pass until I decide to confront my mother.”
“I think I should be there when you do.”
“My mother’s birthday is this Sunday. Alexandra wants to have us over to celebrate. My sister really wants to meet you.”
I’d told Alexandra all about Dex’s identity but hadn’t had a chance to break the news about our mother’s affair yet.
“Well, then I’ll go with you to the party,” he said.
“The problem is, I don’t want to make a scene on my mother’s birthday, but I’m not sure I can hold it in, since it will be the first time I will have seen her since finding out.”
“Why don’t we just take it one moment at a time and see how things go?”
“Alright.”
Making a wish, I finally blew out my candle.“I just can’t believe this,” Alexandra said. I could hear that she was crying.
“I know. I’m really sorry to have sprung this on you tonight, but I didn’t want you to be caught off guard on Sunday in case I lose it with Mom.”
I’d decided to call my sister and tell her the full story about our mother and Dexter Sr. She was just as shocked as I’d been to learn the truth about how the demise of our parents’ marriage really went down.
“Honestly, it just makes so much sense,” she said.
“How so?”
“Why Dad always seemed so sad when he was supposedly the one who’d had the affair.”
“You know, you’re right. That never did make much sense.”
Alex sniffled. “I hope it was worth it.”
“The affair?”
“Yes. It cost her marriage, cost us everything.”
“In a weird way, though, it brought me Dex. If it weren’t for my thinking that his father wronged Mom, I might not have ever volunteered so hard for that assignment. It’s like the universe gave me something in return.”
“You really care about him, don’t you?”
“We’ve been through a lot, but yes, I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with him.” It was the first time I’d admitted it aloud, but there was no doubt in my mind how I felt about the man. “In fact, I’m certain of it.”