Letting a long breath out against her neck, I took a moment to enjoy the feel of her in my arms without guilt.
“I’ve been dying to see you,” she said. “I’m so sorry about everything, Matteo.”
“Stop apologizing.” I moved back to look at her face. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Hazel. I need you to know that.”
“I was afraid you thought I’d somehow known who you were.”
“Of course not.” I sighed. After several seconds of silence, I took her back into my arms and whispered into her skin. “I just want you to be happy, okay? You have to follow your heart. If being with Brady is what makes you happy, then—”
“I haven’t been able to think about anything but you.” She pushed back to look me in the eyes.
Her admission stopped me in my tracks. Now I was speechless.
“I know it might look like I’d been planning to take Brady back, but the truth is, I hadn’t made any decisions. We’ve just been spending time together and—
“You don’t owe me an explanation. We’re not a couple. We’re two people who had a great time together. We had plans to maybe meet up again, but nothing was set in stone. It was always supposed to be about what felt right. You need to do what feels right. If you want to be with Brady, then— ”
“When I came back, everything that happened between us almost felt like a dream, Matteo. Then when Brady told me he regretted canceling the wedding, it was like a reality check. I thought I owed it to myself to give him a chance, but at the same time, I owe it to myself to figure out who I really am and what I want. Either way, through it all, I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind.” She reached for me. “Then to find out who you really are… It’s just been too much.”
I squeezed her hands. “I’ve been a wreck.”
We stared at each other until she finally said, “I have to ask you something.”
“Ask me anything.”
“How did it not occur to you even once that I could have been Brady’s ex?”
This was the one question I’d feared her asking. Because in order to tell her the truth, I’d have to betray Brady’s trust and admit that he’d lied to me.
How could I admit what Brady had told me? I couldn’t. I had to come up with a generic answer that would buy me some time.
“I can honestly tell you it didn’t occur to me even once.” That was technically a truthful statement.
“I figured you couldn’t have known… It’s just so hard to believe this happened.” She blew out a long breath. “Tell me what you did after I left Atlanta.”
“I was in a funk. I missed you…badly. Originally, I was gonna go straight to New York, but I just felt like being home for a little bit first. So I went back to Seattle, spent Thanksgiving with a friend, and also checked in on my apartment and Bach.”
Her mouth curved into a smile. “Bach is your cat’s name?”
“Yeah.” I smiled. “He’s been staying with a friend of mine. She’s one of the other teachers and offered to take him in.”
“So you checked in on Bach and then came to New York. What were your plans for after this trip?”
I needed her to know.
“You want the truth?”
“Yeah…”
“These next few months were going to be about biding my time until I got to see you again. I feel like now I may have to hold my breath forever.” I cupped her cheek. “I don’t know where your mind is, Hazel. I can tell you that without a doubt, my plan was to meet you in New Orleans and not to let you go again. But at this point in time, I have no plans. I can’t see beyond today.”
She shut her eyes tightly, looking tormented. “How long are you staying in New York?”
“I keep changing my plans. I’ve extended my hotel a few times and rebooked my flights. Right now I’m supposed to check out tomorrow and fly home.”
A look of panic crossed her face. “What time is your flight?
“Around eight at night.”
“Can you please change it again? Will you stay a little longer?”
I had no idea how to answer that. “As it is, Brady knows something is up with me,” I told her. “He won’t stop talking about how I ditched Kimber the other night. He knows I’m hung up on someone. He just doesn’t know it’s you. I don’t know how much longer I can keep pretending to be okay when I’m not, Hazel.”
“We need a bit more time to figure this out,” she begged. “Please…”
I nodded. “Maybe I could tell Brady I’ve decided to explore the city some more.”
She breathed a sigh of relief. “Please do that.”