The only sign I’ve gotten to him is the slight tic in his cheek and the way his expression goes flat.
“Kody? Why are you talking to her?” Her jealousy is a green-eyed monster.
I leave the sandwich stuff and grab a box of cereal from the counter, wanting to get away from Kodiak before he hits me with another low blow.
“I live here.” I throw a fake smile her way and elbow past Kodiak. “And don’t worry, I’d rather choke to death on a rotten hot dog than let him put his hands on me.”
I head for the stairs, aware that Kodiak isn’t going to follow me or antagonize me any further when there’s some girl vying for his attention. I rush up the steps, nearly tripping on the first landing. I manage to catch myself and make it to the third floor without falling on my face. I close my door and lock it from the inside, but I don’t turn on my light.
Since my room is in the attic, I have windows that look out on all sides of the house, plus the balcony that overlooks the backyard and the pool. I drop the cereal and my bag on the bed and cross to the other side of the room. Flipping the lock on the sliding door, I open it enough to get my body through, which is wider than I’d like, thanks to my boobs. I close it silently and drop down, staying hidden behind the towel I left hanging over the railing yesterday.
I scan the lit-up pool. I spot River with some girl hanging off him while he basically ignores her. It always surprises me how willing girls are to bask in his high-level surliness on the off chance he might give them a shred of attention.
I love my twin, but how he manages to attract the opposite sex confounds me.
Maverick is sitting at the edge of the pool, making out with someone. He’s been dating her for the past two weeks, I think, which means she won’t be around much longer.
It takes me a while to find Kodiak. He’s in the shadows, sitting on one of the stools behind the pool bar, forearms on the bar top, his expression grim. The blonde is nowhere to be found. He’s wearing his ball cap now, so I can’t see his face, but it feels like his eyes are on me. Although it always feels that way when he’s around.
The blonde appears out of the shadows and drapes herself over him. I watch every muscle in his body tense for a few long seconds before he finally gives her his attention. She lifts his ball cap from his head and puts it on her own. She shimmies her way between the bar top and the stool and rests her forearms on his shoulders.
And of course he lets her. Why wouldn’t he?
I don’t stick around to see more.
I may always be a silent observer, but masochism has never been my jam.
I tell myself this is a good reminder.
The only person who can save me from myself is me. No point in wallowing in the past and the things I can’t get back. I probably shouldn’t want them anyway.Chapter TenNope
Lavender
Present day
THE NEXT MORNING I get up early, but my brothers are long gone. Despite the fact that they were up late last night, Mav is already at hockey practice and River is likely on the football field.
I pull one of my favorite dresses over my head. I have lunch plans with Lovey and Lacey after my morning class.
I start with a visit to student services, embarrassed that I have to solicit help to make it through the most basic economics class a college can offer. Back in high school, I once used the school tutoring services. I was paired with this sweet, nerdy girl named Michelle who was in love with Maverick, so most of the two tutoring sessions we had revolved around her asking questions about my brother, rather than helping me. I decided it wasn’t worth the hassle and had River do my homework for me instead.
The guy sitting at the student services desk doesn’t look anything like the nice, nerdy girl who tutored me before. That he’s a he, not a she, is obviously a factor. However, so is the fact that he’s built like a brick shithouse. His sweatshirt has RUGBY stamped across the front, so I’m guessing he’s on the school team—not a hockey player, which is an automatic thumbs-up in my book. Interestingly, his name does not match the rest of him.
“Hello. Welcome to student services. How can we be of assistance?” Merlin asks.
I look around for another person to complete the “we” component, but there doesn’t seem to be anyone but him in the office. I have to clear my throat so I can speak above a whisper. “Uh, hi. I was told I could access tutoring services for economics here.”