“Not a fucking word.” I point at him.
“Are you kidding me?” he snarls. “Jewel is like goddamn Bambi. You literally just kicked Bambi. Are you happy?”
I sigh and rub the back of my neck. Am I happy? No. Nothing lately is making me happy, but what does that have to do with anything?
“Axel, why are you here?” He throws his hand up and moves into my space. “You’re making everyone nervous and upset.” His laid-back persona is gone.
“I’d tell you to go apologize, but I don’t trust you.” He inhales and exhales like he’s trying to get ahold of his temper, which is good because when he loses it, he’s a crazy motherfucker and I’m not in the mood.
“Get out of my face, Rip.” My eyes zero in on his. “I’m dead serious. You need to back up.” He crosses his arms, but he does take a step back.
“This is not rocket science.” I motion to the monitor and the phone. “She’s stoned and can’t remember the codes. That’s unacceptable,” I spit out. “The whole fucking reason I’ve been doing all this is so we don’t get robbed. Our managers need to know how the security system works.”
I look at the clock hanging over his head. “Go get her,” I grit out. “I’m meeting with Bullseye in an hour.”
“Just go, Axel. I’ll take care of this.” He snorts and pulls out his phone.
My head is pounding from lack of sleep and too much tequila last night. I need a shower and to fuck. This has been the longest I’ve ever gone without pussy since I was in Afghanistan. There’s one problem though. My dick seems to have decided that it only wants my violet-eyed enchantress. I would panic, but I’m too fucking tired to deal with it. This crap with Jewel and Rip is not helping my humor.
“You really going to defend her?” I toss the phone on the desk in the corner.
“Defend what? She asked a question and you jumped down her throat and then she got flustered. She’s the best at taking care of our plants, so give her a break.” He motions at the hundreds of plants, row after row of his particular blend looking healthy and green.
Running a hand through his blond hair, he goes on. “Look, I haven’t said anything to you all week, and trust me, I wanted to. But this is business. I’m not gonna let you ruin what we’ve built all because you can’t admit to yourself that you might have feelings for a woman.” He sneers as he heads toward the door.
“Rip, you’re talking out of your ass. Our employees are more interested in sampling the supply than protecting themselves and our money,” I yell after him.
He turns, disgust written all over his face. “We’ve beefed up the security. Christ, half of our brothers in Hemet are working double time to get this crop in and safe. Everyone knows what’s at stake, so you yelling at Jewel because you’re pissed that you don’t want to fuck her anymore is pathetic and juvenile.” He spits out the last part.
“That has nothing to do with this.” My eyes narrow and I reach for my cigarettes.
“Axel, you’re acting like I’m the enemy. I’m not. I want you to be happy. And if that means me having to point out that you want to be with Antoinette, then I guess I’ll do it for the greater good.”
I blink at him. He has fucking balls, I’ll give him that. “You’re high, Rip. I left to get away from her.”
“Exactly.”
He walks back over to me, his anger gone. He looks more confused, almost baffled, which makes me uncomfortable. I don’t want to hear any of his philosophies right now. Christ, I wish he’d hit me. Anything but this shit.
“You’ve seriously never had this happen, have you? Holy fuck, man.” He raises his hands as though asking for God to help him.
I light up and take a drag, preparing to justify myself. But what am I gonna say? He’s right. I’ve been in a shit mood because I can’t accept that I would rather be in LA with Antoinette than doing this. Honestly, I’m counting down the minutes until I can get on my bike and head back. I hate it. It makes me feel off, unsure. That is unacceptable for me. My job is to always be sure. No hesitation, no strings, only the ability to do what needs to be done without having to worry.
When I told her I was leaving, she raised her nose in the air. But her fucking eyes, those eyes that show me everything. Her vulnerability bleeds out of them calling to me, making me do things like stay away much longer than needed.
The last thing I saw was her putting on her ragged ballet shoes, proud and beautiful. I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to throw her against the wall and kiss her, fuck her.