Ignite (The Disciples 4)

“Hi.” Despite the concerned look on his face, I run past him into the office. Looking around, all I want is a small spot to cry. My heart hurts, head throbs, it feels like he’s taken my soul without me even knowing that I gave it to him the first time I looked into his beautiful eyes. Choking back the lump in my throat, I snort. I’ll never be me without him. I want to double over and sob until I can’t cry anymore.

Walking over to the leather couch, I sink down into it. I’m about ready to let it out so that I can pick myself up when the door bangs open revealing a concerned Charlie and an angry Cindy.

“What’s happened?” Charlie sits next to me. Her long dark hair falls over one shoulder like a waterfall and I wish I was her.

Sweet, beautiful, Charlie.

“Are you hurt? Call Axel and have him come get her,” she informs Cindy who looks like a cop that just caught me stealing.

“I’m fine.” My voice is loud. Though I try to smile, instead, I wipe under my eyes like that will stop the tears.

“You’re not fine. What happened?”

I sigh and look up at the ceiling. “Oh, I did the one thing you all told me not to do. I told Axel I was in love with him.”

I laugh, but it cracks and sounds like a sob. “Do you have some makeup I can borrow?” It sounds crazy, and Charlie frowns but motions for Cindy.

“Why would you do that?” Cindy sounds truly baffled, and I almost burst out laughing because her shocked expression is nailing it home. She reaches for her large Prada backpack, which hangs on the coat rack. Unless it’s for fashion, we rarely wear coats in LA, so I guess it’s the purse rack.

“What did he do?” She shakes her head, her blond hair, styled in perfect beach waves, moving to and fro.

“He gave me a box filled with presents. It was huge.” I bite my lower lip and motion with my hands. “He bought me new pointe shoes and running shoes” I look at both of them.

“Because I was making fun of him the other day, calling him an old man. So, we are… or were planning to run together in the mornings.” I blink back the tears. Cindy looks at me like I’ve grown horns and Charlie is smiling. She seriously thinks Axel is good, but he broke my heart and they need to be on my side, not his.

“He spanked me,” I blurt out. As soon as it’s out of my mouth, I want to take it back.

“What?” they say together.

“It’s a long story. It’s nothing. I can’t believe I said that.” I put my hands on my hot, wet cheeks, which sting with tears and humiliation.

“Did he abuse you? Like hurt you?” Cindy’s eyes zero in like she’s Axel and can read my mind.

“No.” I sigh, so miserable I didn’t think it could get worse. “Please stop looking at me like that. Axel doesn’t beat me.”

Charlie takes my hand. “Antoinette. I love Axel, but if he’s hurting you, I have to tell David. In fact, I should call him and let you talk to him. Trust me, if there’s one of them you can trust, it’s David.” She stands and grabs the office phone and I almost throw up.

“Oh my God. Please stop,” I scream. “I’m the horrible person. It was a private thing between Axel and me.” My voice sounds hysterical, because Jesus Christ. David? Really?

For once, Cindy looks like she understands while Charlie looks aggravated.

“Antoinette,” she snaps. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m so stupid.” I close my eyes then look at them. “Axel is in love with MJ. All of you keep saying that he doesn’t fall in love, but he does… did.”

Both of them frown.

“I love him. He’s everything I want and can’t have because he’s in love with her.”

“What are you talking about?” Cindy hands me her makeup bag.

“MJ. That’s the woman Axel is in love with.” How can they not know this? At the very least, Charlie should.

“Wait.” Charlie finally lets go of the phone and brings her hands up. “So, the spanking was just foreplay?” She rolls her eyes.

I sigh and wipe away the residual tears. “Forget the spanking. I came hard.” My eyes get huge. “I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I said that.”

“Wow.” Cindy smiles and slaps her legs as she recrosses them. “See, even Antoinette likes to get spanked.” She waggles her eyebrows at Charlie, then laughs.

“Come on, lighten up. It’s fucking hot, right? I had no idea Axel was into that kind of play. I mean, I know he loves threesomes, and sharing…”

“Jesus Christ, Cindy. Seriously?” Charlie shakes her head.

“What?” She rolls her eyes at her.

“Like David is a saint and you’re so virginal? I swear to God, Charlize, sometimes you have the most biased views concerning your husband. And you act like a prude. At least Antoinette is coming right along.”