Atone (The Disciples 2)

When I find her, she’s on her laptop, drinking coffee and looking at charts.

I wrap my arms around her, bury my nose in her hair, and inhale all that I need in one breath.

“Everything, okay?” She cups my cheek.

“I missed you,” I mumble as I kiss her neck.

“I guess you need to stay over more often.”

I pull her hair off her shoulders, loosening her robe. “I want that,” I whisper into her ear, nipping it.

“Really?” She turns so that she can see me.

“I do…” Though I try to pull away, her nails are latched into my forearms.

“Oh no you don’t. Speak. Talk to me.”

“Charlie, you can’t think I’m something I’m not. I can be honest and tell you that I’m crazy about you, that last night was the best thing to happen to me ever. But it’s empty if I can’t be the man you need.”

She gazes at me with such hope. “I love you, David.” She reaches for my lips. “You don’t have to say it back, but I do. I always have.”

I cup her face and look at her beauty, not only on the outside but the true light that comes from within her.

“You shouldn’t love me. No matter what I feel toward you, it can’t end well for us.”

“But why?” Her forehead hits my chest. “Why can’t you try? You did amazing last night. You can be happy, David. We deserve a chance.”

She looks up and I can’t stand it. She doesn’t get it, never will.

“I don’t deserve anything,” I hiss as my phone goes off. “You do, though.”

“I want you.” Confusion clouds her stunning face. To her, it should be easy. “And I know you want me.”

We stare at each other. The annoying sound of my phone vibrating breaks the energy. For a moment, she almost had me believing I might have a chance—a chance to love her the way she deserves.

Maybe when this nightmare is over, my demons will evaporate and my mind can be clear and open to loving.

My phone starts vibrating again.

“Fuck.” I look down at it. Four missed calls from Blade.

“I need to take care of this.”

She nods and turns back to her computer. “Go. I’m not stopping you.”

“Charlie…” Her eyes snap to mine and I almost take a step back.

“Go, do what you need to do. But know that I’m not giving up on you.”

I don’t speak. What’s left to say? She’s brave and I’m fucked up. End of story.

My phone starts again and she rolls her eyes as she dumps out her coffee and pours herself a fresh cup.

“What?” I almost yell as I walk to her bedroom.

“You missed Church.”

“No shit, Blade.”

“My wife has decided to have Dolly, your girl, and your girl’s friend Cindy over for a pool day.”

“What?”

“Don’t do it, Poet. Not today. All the brothers are in the compound partying because we had Church and we are united. The one person who wasn’t there was you. Now, I don’t give a fuck what you do later, but my wife is five months pregnant and she wants to have some girl time. Bring your old lady. Now.”

“Charlie doesn’t even know Eve, and I don’t want her around that.”

Silence.

“Fine, I’m on my way.” The line goes dead.

“Fuck.” I rub my face. All of this is too much. Charlie loving me, finding the rat, waiting for Frosty… I’m on edge, and I can sense it: something’s getting ready to happen.

Pushing on Frosty’s number, I hear it ring twice.

“Yellow.”

“Anything?”

“Poet?”

“Jesus Christ, Frosty, yes it’s me.”

“Prez says nothing gets told to you until he hears it first.” I hear his fingers typing.

Taking a deep breath because I need Frosty and it’s not his fault Blade is being a dick, I walk back into the main room where Charlie sits on the couch.

Her long legs are tucked under her as she eats some pineapple while looking at her phone.

I crack my neck, staying silent as I hear him sigh and then say. “Fine, I’ll say this… I have a contact. He’s the best money can buy, expensive as fuck, but he thinks he can fix the sound quality and match the voice.”

I breathe out and sink onto the couch with Charlie.

“And, Poet?”

“What?”

“If you want anything again, you’ll let no one know that I told you that.”

I snort. “Don’t worry. It’s safe. You’ve told me nothing.”

I toss the burner phone on her coffee table and look over at her. I reach for her leg. It’s so soft, she’s truly perfection, my perfect woman.

“Get dressed. My cousin’s wife wants to have a girls’ day by the pool. Apparently your friend Cindy is invited and you’re required.”

“Yeah, I just talked to her. She’s been there for an hour. I guess you’re late.” She bites the bottom of her lip.

I cock my head, my hand moving to her hair. I love it—it’s like silk and smells like coconuts.