Repent (The Disciples 3)

He slams the locker shut. “I said I was sorry. It’s done, over. I can’t take it back. All I can say is that you are mine—my girl and I never want to hurt you.”

“But you do. You have done something I never thought you would. You have made me my mom.” I back away as if he is going to come and get me. If he did, would I have the strength or desire to say no?

His eyes narrow as he watches me inch away. “I’ll pick you up after school. We need to talk more,” he says, his voice firm.

I shake my head. “No. Troy is taking me home—and he’s taking me to the Homecoming on Friday.” For the first time in my life, I turn and run from him. I run like I’ve never run before. And from the one person I never would have believed I’d need to get away from.EDGE

Seventeen years oldI’m sitting in a crowded bar with a bunch of Disciples and crazy groupies listening to Axel and his band The Dicks.

“I love you, Axel. Fuck me tonight,” Tammy screams in my ear, using my shoulder to hold her up as she reaches for Axel.

“Christ.” I detach her spikey nails and watch as she falls straight onto the table. Bottles and glasses shatter and roll under the booth, but she laughs and keeps screaming.

“What the fuck, Edge?” Ryder snarls at me as he picks her up and dumps her next to me.

“She’s shit-faced. I don’t want her,” I scream over Axel’s guitar as Ryder frowns and ignores me.

I look around at the small black room, which somehow houses a stage and a bar but is known to be the starting point for a lot of bands. A frazzled cocktail waitress comes over with a busboy to clean up the glass. I’m the only one sober, not because I’m underage and can’t legally drink but because I’ve been fucked up for days and think I’ve drunk myself sober.

I shouldn’t have come, but it’s Axel and I love his music. My head is not right tonight though. Fucking Homecoming, and Dolly is making me someone I want to punch.

Rhys belts out some lyrics I heard Axel and him putting down the other day. Leaning my head back, I close my eyes and try not to see her. My heart hurts, but I can’t tell anyone this. I have no one to talk to. My best friend, my reason to get up and smile every day is gone.

A prick of jealousy snakes up my spine at how happy everyone seems. Even the fucking old-timers are partying and have their arms wrapped around their old ladies.

A girl screams and my eyes pop open. Her arms are wrapped around Axel’s neck as she screeches for the Rock God Twins. A bouncer jumps onto the stage and removes her.

I feel like a pariah. I’ll never be him, or even Ryder. My eyes dart to the tall, bulky body across from me. Ryder is Chuckie’s friend and got patched in about six months ago. Rumors are floating around he’s going to be Chuck’s enforcer when Prez retires.

“Axellllll.” Tammy is up again and I swear to God I’m two seconds from leaving, but the glare Ryder shoots me makes me grab the bottle of Jack the waitress dropped off.

I guzzle the spicy whiskey relishing in the burn as it makes its way down my esophagus.

I wonder what it would be like to have a passion, a healthy obsession rather than one that makes me think about locking myself in a dark room and not coming out. Axel could be a rock star. He has the talent, the looks, and Rhys has the looks, voice, and drive.

I used to wonder what Axel would do if he got a shot at truly being a musician. But as I watch him, it’s apparent that he is all Disciple. He’ll never leave; it’s not an option for him. Black or white is how he views things. I envy that. Clearly, I have issues and if I don’t get out of here, I might go insane and do something I regret.

Homecoming.

It’s tonight. My mind wanders to that dark place where it shouldn’t, and I bolt up and look over at Ryder. “I have to go. Tell—”

“Sit down, man.” Jason is behind me with some small dark-haired girl who, for a second, makes me think it’s Dolly.

But Dolly is with Troy and her cunt friends and I’m here.

“I have to go.” It’s not rational but suddenly, some kind of weird force, drive, need has taken over my brain and I have to get to her.

“Is he okay?” Jason looks at Ryder.

“Fuck no. Look at him.” All eyes turn to me and I want to punch all their faces.

“Has he been drinking?” Jason says all this as if I’m dead or something.