“I don’t have a life to give you. Not yet. Maybe never. I could get pulled in tomorrow by the FBI.” He takes a deep breath, looking tired as all the world. “I just took out a big fish they had…battered up for frying.”
Tears spill from my eyes. “I thought you said you were okay with them. That they knew. And you were just saying you wanted to be together!” Am I crazy?
“I do…want you. I want you happy. I want you to…have some options.” He sounds breathless.
“Like you do?”
“I’m fine.”
“You look like you’re going to pass out if you don’t sit down.”
He shakes his head slowly. “I have to go.” His eyes seem less than focused. He won’t look at me as he wraps his hand around the doorknob. “I’ve got…things to do. To protect my brother and my friends.” He bows his head. “I don’t want to fuck up again.”
“So you’re leaving right now?” I get off the bed, trying to decide if I’m furious or devastated.
“I have to.” His eyes are pleading. His mouth twists downward like he’s upset, and he shuts his eyes as he breathes deeper.
“Just stay with me one more night. Please, Luca. I think we need to talk more. Talk this out more.”
His face is regretful. “I can’t.”
Tears start falling again as cold panic grips me. “Will you call me this time? Please? Don’t give up on what we have. You have to promise me you won’t. Don’t be afraid of being happy with me. Promise me that.”
He nods. “Promise. I’ll put the baby and you first.”
I get up and cross the rug to him, and then I hug him. He rests his chin on my head, and I stroke his warm back gently.
“Sorry,” he says quietly.
I look up at him and can’t help nodding. “Do what you need to do. Just come back, please.”
He kisses me gently, hugs me gingerly, and frowns down at himself.
“Dani and I dressed you. Clothes she bought from somewhere.”
His lips twist in a small smile. “Thank you, rosa.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“Call me when you get home.”
“Okay.” I watch as he looks around the room one last time. Then he steps away from me and walks carefully out the door.37LucaIt’s a chilly winter morning, early as hell, when someone rings the doorbell. Since I’m sleeping on the couch, the chime is loud—and then it’s followed by aggressive knocking.
What the fuck? I get up, my eyes flying to the table by the front door, where I keep a little black revolver. I palm the thing, my heart racing as I check the peep hole, but it’s only Alesso.
I open the door and he steps inside, brushing past me so his shoulder bumps mine. I realize he looks pissed off about the time he says, “You got her pregnant?”
“What?”
“You got her fucking pregnant, and you left her.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” His whole face is an accusation. “I didn’t leave her.” My blood runs cold as I wonder what happened to trigger this drop-by.
“But you did get her pregnant.”
“What’s wrong with her?”
“What’s wrong is this shit. I can’t believe I didn’t even know.” He’s waving his hands as he speaks, gesturing with a small, brown bag.
“What are you holding?”
“Lemon donuts, but you sure as shit aren’t getting any.”
I can’t help a soft laugh. “Dude, what’s going on?”
“I’m fucking pissed.”
I wave toward the door. “Then go. I’m trying to sleep.”
Alesso gives my chest a light push. “Jesus, man. What are you doing?”
“Fuck off.” I shove him back.
“How do you think that’d play out?” He looks aggressive, like he wants to fight me.
“I don’t know. You want to find out, brother?”
“Luca—what the fuck?” He looks around. I can see the wheels in his head turning as he notices my house is a damn mess. So what? “Where’s Oscar?” he asks.
“Had him boarded for the weekend.” My tone sounds defensive.
“Why?”
“I was going upstate.”
He gives me a look that says he sees right through me.
“I didn’t end up going. Clearly.” I roll my eyes.
Alesso passes me the bag of donuts. Then he strolls to my couch, sits, and pats the cushion beside him. “C’mon over, Galante.”
“What is this, a fucking therapy session?”
He arches a brow. “Sounds like you need a little fucking therapy session.”
“Christ.” I rub my hair. After a second, I sit down—mostly so I can have a donut.
“What are you doing, man?” His eyes pin mine. “What are you doing?”
“She said she would quit her job, Alesso.”
“And?” He throws his hands up.
“I can’t let her do that.”
“Why not?”
“It’s her job. She ran for public office.”
“She said you told her to tell people the baby’s Jace’s. People I know’ve been trying to put two and two together for weeks—people including Isa, who was about to fly back to check on you.” He gives a bitter laugh. “But that’s your baby.”