Torn Apart (Torn and Bound Duet 1)

I chew the side of my cheek to stop myself from saying what I want to say. Like the fact that maybe if she actually wanted me home, I would be there. But the only reason she’s making a big deal out of it is because me not attending those events makes her look bad—and God forbid Claire Voss-Lexington look bad. Or how about the fact that I’m eighteen years old, which means she has no say in where I go to school, especially since I’m here on an academic scholarship.

“I just paid your rent for the month,” she says, making sure to throw the only thing she can in my face. My apartment. The only part that’s not covered by my scholarship. “It would be a shame if it didn’t get paid next month.”

I bite back a dark laugh. How twisted is it that my mother has to threaten me in order to get me to come home? If only she would realize that I would give anything for her to actually want me there. I begged for her attention for years.

She wanted me to model, I modeled.

She wanted me to act, I acted.

I dressed how she wanted.

Behaved how she wanted.

Dated who she wanted.

But no matter what I did, I never came any closer to her actually loving me or wanting me. The only person she loves is herself. Which is why, when I turned eighteen, I ran. So I could start over, out from under her clutches, away from her coldness, and try to find somewhere I could call home. Too bad, no matter how far I run, she’s still able to get to me, because deep down, all I want is for my mom to accept me and love me, and like the idiot I am, I keep hoping she’ll one day do just that.

I should put a stop to it all right now, tell her I’m done. Cut her out of my life. I can take out a loan to pay for my apartment and necessities. But then I remember what would happen if I did that: I would lose my dad, and unlike my mom, he has a big heart—one that’s too big. And the only way to keep him in my life is to deal with my mom. Because, for some crazy reason, my father is in love with my mother, and my biggest fear is that if I cut her out of my life, she would force him to choose between us, and he would choose her.

“Send me the invites again, please,” I tell her, “and I’ll make sure I’m there.”

“Perfect,” she coos. “I must be going now. I’m on set. Talk soon.”

She hangs up, and I squeeze my fingers around my phone, wishing there was a punching bag nearby I could take my frustration out on. This week I might need more than my usual yoga classes. I might need to sign up for Krav Maga so I can let out some steam.

Pushing through the door, I head back inside, hoping Brayden will have taken the hint and left. Only, I not only find him sitting where I left him, but with him is Drew. Could this day get any worse?

Based on the matching scowls they’re both sporting, they appear to be arguing. Then it hits me. Brayden’s new coach caught him buying answers. Drew is the new coach. Ugh! Seriously? I must’ve done something horrible in a previous life to have the shitty karma I have.

As I walk over to them, I dart my eyes around to make sure Sasha isn’t around. The last thing I need is for her to see Drew here with me.

“So, you decided to stay,” I say, dropping back into my seat and doing my best to ignore the way Drew is eyeing me. He really is good-looking. And my God, the way he made my body hum by just simply touching me and kissing me… It’s a shame he’s a coach here… and I’m in love with someone else.

“Do I have a choice?” Brayden barks.

“You always have a choice,” I snap back. “And if you aren’t going to choose to be here, then I can’t help you. You’re obviously failing at least one of your damn classes, and it’s going to take more than a quick mini study session to get you back to passing. So, make your choice.”

“He’s staying,” Drew says for him, making me look his way. His tongue darts out and swipes along his bottom lip and thoughts of the other night come flooding back: the way our bodies fit against each other so perfectly, the scent of his body wash, the taste of his tongue when it was plunging into my mouth and then working its way down every inch of my flesh…