I get he’s with Mia, but he wanted me first, and now that I’m no longer running scared, I’m not sure I can sit back and watch them be together. The thought has my dick thickening. The vision of Brayden and Mia, Mia and Brayden. Her in the middle of my bed at The Lodge, her legs spread while I fingerfuck her. Brayden kissing her while he strokes my dick. My hand slaps the wall and I drop my head, closing my eyes, as I shoot my load to the fantasy.
One thing I know with absolute certainty…
I want Brayden. I need Brayden.
I will absolutely fight for Brayden.I’m tired as fuck, but I can’t wait. I have to see Mia. I need space from Drew.
Jesus.
Every time I let my mind drift back to Saturday night in his hotel room, my dick grows rock-hard.
He blew me. Drew—the guy who freaked the fuck out when I kissed him years ago—got on his knees, pulled out my cock, and sucked me off.
Sad part is, I really, really liked it. To the point I jacked off the moment I got back to my hotel room because I was so amped over what that did to me—what he did to me—and was already hard again.
But it was wrong.
Right?
It’s wrong because I’ve been seeing Mia. Fooled around with Mia. Really like Mia. I can’t, though, turn off a lifetime of feelings I’ve had for Drew. Even when I was pissed as hell at him, I loved him. Everything’s a fucking mess.
I have to be upfront with her, though. I also need to find out what the fuck Ashton thinks he’s doing to her. And to Drew. It makes me want to knee him right in the nuts.
Hypocrite.
Ignoring my internal bitch boy, I head over to Mia’s once we roll back into town. I knock and wait for her to answer. The door flings open. She’s wearing a wide smile that tightens when she sees me.
“Not expecting me?” I ask, arching a brow.
She laughs and shakes her head. “I thought it was Ashton.”
“Hmph.”
“Hmph?”
“Can we talk?” I step closer, tucking a dark tendril of hair behind her ear.
Her brows furrow. “Yeah. Is everything okay?” The way her voice shakes slightly, it seems as though she’s anticipating this conversation. But how could she know Drew gave me a blowjob?
“Not really,” I grunt. “Everything’s a mess.”
“Do you want to come inside?”
“Not really. I’m tired. I just… I needed to talk to you before I went back to my dorm to crash.”
“Well, talk, Brayden. You’re beating around the bush.”
I scrub my palm over my face. “I, uh, I had a good night with Drew.”
Her eyes widen and her plump lips part. I crave to kiss them in this moment, but that won’t get me any closer to sorting out this confusing mess.
“We sort of kissed. A lot.” I close my eyes, remembering the way it felt.
“You’re smiling,” she whispers.
I swallow down the emotion clogging my throat. “I missed him.”
When I reopen my eyes, her bottom lip is trembling. It makes me feel like shit to hurt her. Stepping close to her, I cup her cheek and lean my forehead to hers.
“I’m so fucking confused, Mia,” I admit. “I like you so much. So fucking much, but…”
“You have history with Drew.”
I nod. “I’m afraid if I push too hard away from him, I may never get him back. It’s all I’ve ever wanted for so long. He’s here. He’s fucking here. And it’s up to me to do something about it.” I press a quick kiss to her lips. “I’m so sorry I’ve done this to you.”
“Hey,” she coos, wrapping her arms around me. “It’s not just you.” She sighs. “Things are… different with Ashton. Better. This week, we’ve been close in ways we’ve never been before. He’s my best friend, but I think he wants to be more.”
“Be careful with him,” I warn, unable to curb my irritation.
She tenses, pulling away to frown. “It’s Ashton. I don’t have to be careful with him.”
“I’m just saying after what happened with him and Drew—”
“What?” Her word slices through the air like a blade, cutting me off.
“Nothing,” I grind out. “I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s not my place.”
“What happened?” she demands.
“You’ll have to ask him, Mia.”
“Why wouldn’t he tell me if something happened with them?” she asks, hurt shining in her dark eyes. “I’ve been upfront with Ashton about everything. With you, too. It’s not like he’d be afraid of my reaction. It’s probably nothing.”
If you call sword fighting nothing…
I sat far away from Drew on the way back to Hawk’s Landing, but I texted him the whole way, demanding to know what all he and Ashton did. I’d expected to be pissed about it, not so fucking jealous. What I really didn’t expect was how I imagined every little detail Drew gave me. How they made out and jacked each other off…