Three Kings, One Night (Lost Kings MC 2.5)

“Blake?”

Shifting my focus from the ceiling to Heidi, I find her staring at me.

I jerk my thumb in the direction of the front door. “So, he your boyfriend?”

She shakes her head. “No.”

I follow her into the living room, where she stops to touch her book.

“Anatomy and Physiology? Kinda nerdy gift, isn’t it?”

Heidi stares up at me with wide eyes. “Yeah, but he knew I wanted it.”

I want to ask her how he knew something that seems so personal, but I don’t know how to say it in a way that won’t make me sound like a jealous dick. I’ve known Heidi almost her whole life and it would never occur to me that a big ol’ textbook would be something she’d want as a gift.

“Why?”

She cocks her head at me. “You’ll think it’s dumb.”

“No I won’t. Tell me.”

“Well, I want to go to school to be a radiographer, and that’s one of the first classes you have to take. So, I mentioned I’d love to get my hands on one of the textbooks.” She glances down at it again and shrugs.

That was a lot of information for me to take in. The last I knew she wanted to be a fashion designer.

“What the heck is a radiographer? I thought you wanted to be a fashion designer?”

Her face twists.

I mime an imitation of sewing in the air with my hands. “I remember you used to sew all those little dresses and—”

“Ugh. For my Barbies, when I was like, ten, Blake!” she yells, stomping her foot.

I’m used to her dramatic little outbursts, so it comes naturally to ignore the whole stomping her feet thing. “So what? You were good at it.”

“I also wanted to ride a unicorn to school. Geez, Blake. It’s a medical job. Taking x-rays and stuff. But I can be done in two years and make good money when I finish.”

“Why not just go to med school then?”

“Because it takes too long and costs a fortune.”

“Bug, you know between your brother and me you can go wherever you want? You know that, right?”

Her face softens a little. “I know and I appreciate that. Honestly though, I don’t think I could hack all the years of med school. This seems manageable and there are a lot of jobs to be had when I’m done.”

“Well, sounds smart then.”

Fuck, she impresses me. Heidi could sit on her ass and do nothing if she wanted to and we’d take care of her. In fact I always assumed…Well it doesn’t matter what I thought. She wants to make her own way. I respect that.

“So, how come you never told me this before?”

She shrugs. “We don’t talk the way we used to.”

Now I feel like shit. Between my responsibilities with the club running me ragged and me trying to avoid getting into an inappropriate situation with Heidi, she’s right. I’ve been avoiding her for awhile now.

“I’m sorry. You can always call me, you know.”

“Yeah. I don’t want to be a bother, though.”

Aw fuck. That’s probably my doing. “You never bother me.”

She snorts because how many times in her life have I teased her by saying she’s a pain in my ass?

“So, you like this Axel guy?”

A shy smile passes her lips. “Yeah. He’s fun to talk to. He’s my physics lab partner.”

Something painful shifts in my chest, but I reach out and ruffle her hair to distract myself. “Good. That mean you’re not crushin’ on me anymore?”

Heidi pushes her lips into a pout. Six years ago, that face annoyed the crap out of me. Mostly because it made me give into whatever demands she was making at the time. Now, the expression is somehow sexy. And while I know it’s not designed to get me hard, it does.

Great. Just what I need.

Sixteen, motherfucker. She’s sixteen. Knock it off.

Tears shimmer in her big brown eyes, digging the stab of guilt I already feel even deeper.

“Sorry to tell you, but I’ve been over that for awhile now, Blake.”

Well fuck if that doesn’t knock the breath out of me.

When I don’t respond—because I have no fucking idea what to say to that—she spins away, storming into the kitchen.

The sound of pots and pans banging around reaches me all the way out here, so I decide I better go fix this shitty situation I just caused.

Her back is to me when I walk in the kitchen and her shoulders clearly shaking.

“Heidi, I’m sorry.”

“You know how many times I’ve seen you with those skanks that hang out up at your club?”

“Heidi—”

“Or when I walked in on you and—”

“Heidi!” Fuck, I don’t need the reminder of that clusterfuckin’ nightmare.

She turns, but she’s not crying. She’s pissed.

There’s something about a beautiful, pissed-off woman, that’s always excited me.

Girl. Sixteen-year-old girl. Not woman.

Fuck!

“You’ve been pushing me away for years. And now you’re gonna act jealous ‘cause I like a guy I go to school with?”

For a kid, she’s got me pegged a little too well.

Frustrated, I rake my fingers through my hair. Christ, she makes me want to rip it out in fistfuls. “Fuck, Heidi! You’re sixteen. I’m eight god damn years older than you. Your brother is my best fuckin’ friend. What do you want from me?”

Heidi’s never been one to hide her feelings, so she yells right back at me. “You didn’t have to be so mean. You didn’t have to hurt—never mind.”

“What’d you want me to do, wait for you, sweetheart?”

Her eyes narrow at my sarcastic tone, and in that moment I really hate myself.

“No, Blake. Not at all. But don’t be surprised if I don’t wait for you either.”

Like fucking hell.

“Bug!” Someone shouts from the front of the house.

Great, now Teller shows up.

Teller’s boots thud over the hardwood floors. “Murph, you here too?”

“Yeah, man.”

Heidi turns away from me, leaning over the sink to splash water on her face.

Teller enters the kitchen all smiles. “Where ya been, fucker?” I grumble at him.

Perceptive as always, he glances at Heidi, then at me. “Everything okay here?”

“Yeah man, we’re cool.”

“Hey Marcel.” Heidi turns and launches herself at her big brother, who wraps her in his arms, picking her up and spinning her the way he’s done forever.

“How ya doin’? Lights outside look real pretty, baby sis.”

“Thanks. Blake helped me put them up.”

Teller glances at me over his shoulder. “Thanks, Bro.”

“No problem. You missed it, Heidi’s boyfriend stopped by.”

I chuckle watching the grin fall from Teller’s face as he holds her out at arm’s length. “What boyfriend?”

Heidi glares at me. “Shut up, Blake. He’s just a friend from school.”

“He brought her a present too,” I tattle like a little bitch. But at least I can breathe again. This is familiar territory. Comfortable, teasing, appropriate territory.

Heidi keeps up her mean-girl stare and I can’t help chuckling.

Teller quirks an eyebrow at her. “Oh yeah?”

“Yes. A book. He’s a nice guy. We’re probably going to go to a movie when he gets back from his family’s.”

We’ll see about that.

“Gram meet him?”

“No.”

Teller nods. “Let me know, I want to meet the kid. Scare the shit out of him, so he knows not to mess with you.”

“Fuck off. Blake already acted like a dick to him.”

Teller and I both laugh, which infuriates Heidi. She storms off into the living room.

“Marcel!” she yelps.

Worried, I take off to find her staring at one big-ass green tree in the living room,

with a lot of other boxes and bags around it.

“Gram’s gonna shit herself when she sees this,” Heidi says with a smile.

“Yeah, I know, but you should have a tree. She can take it up with me. I’ll clean it up after New Year’s.”

***

As much as I’d like to, I’m never able to stay mad at Blake for long. He doesn’t mention Axel again. He and my brother spend time bullshitting. Like they don’t spend enough time at the clubhouse doing that.

But whatever, I’m just happy to be around them. I miss my big brother. At ten years older than me, he’s not old enough to be a father figure, but he’s the closest I’ve ever had to one. He and Grams don’t get along anymore, so he doesn’t come around as much, and I hate it. Although he does make sure to take me out to lunch every Friday when I get dismissed from school early. I look forward to it all week long.

We finish decorating the tree and it looks pretty nice for a rush job.

Since they’re not paying attention to me, I slip my cell phone out and send Penny a text.

Axel stopped by with xmas prezzie for me.

Shut up!

We kissed.

Call me!

Can’t Bro and Blake are here.

Call later.

Lost in my conversation with Penny, I didn’t notice the conversation around me had gone silent. Blake’s staring over my shoulder. I quickly shut my phone off and shove it in my pocket.

“Stop being nosy.”

His jaw muscles are working, like he’s grinding his teeth, but he doesn’t say anything.

“Where’s my brother?” I ask because the silence is crawling over my skin in uncomfortable waves.

“He went outside to pay the pizza delivery guy.”

Oh wow, I must have really zoned out there for a minute.

“Come get it while it’s hot,” Marcel shouts from the kitchen.

Blake pats my shoulder. “Hungry?”

“Starved.”

He half-smiles at me.

After dinner, Marcel runs up to the attic to rummage around for more decorations.

“I’m takin’ off, bro,” Blake shouts up the stairs and gets a muffled response from my brother.

Blake turns to me and offers his hand. “Walk me out?”

“Yeah, sure.”

The night is beautiful. Cold, crisp and bright. The stars are glittering like diamonds and I almost slip on a small patch of ice because I’m so busy staring up at the sky instead of walking.

“Careful, sweetheart,” Blake cautions in a hushed voice, gripping my hand tighter.

When we get to his car, he opens the trunk and pulls out a few boxes.

“What’s that?”

“For you.”

Suddenly I feel like crying.

Blake sets the packages back down. “What’s wrong?”

I let out a sad sniffle. “Nothing.”

“Heidi—”

I wave my hand in the air between us. “I’m fine. Just sad. Grams and I—I miss my mom, too, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.”

I feel a little bad for yelling at him earlier, when he gave up his whole night to help me do silly stuff. “Thank you for everything today.”

“You’re welcome. I’m sorry—” Blake’s actually apologizing to me? Now, I feel even worse.

“No. It’s okay. I’d rather argue with you than nothing at all,” I say with another sniffle.

Blake chuckles. “That’s awful.”

“I know.”

“Come here.” He pulls me tight for a hug, and all the craziness pinging around inside of me stills as I relax and breathe the scent of Blake in. “Heidi, I’m trying really hard here,” he mumbles against my hair.

I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean, so I just hug him tighter. “What?”

He shifts me away from him so we’re staring at each other, our noses only inches apart. “I’m trying hard to do the right thing by you.” His voice is deep and husky in a way I’ve never heard before.

“What does that mean?”

“It means, I care about you. You’re not like a little sister to me anymore, but I can’t do anything about it right now.”

Something pulses to life inside of me. Heat races through me, even though I’m freezing. I can’t keep my emotions in check any longer. I think I understand what he’s trying to tell me. My heart actually hurts. I’m not sure if I believe him or he’s just trying to cheer me up.

“I know you don’t really mean any of that. I appreciate you trying to—”

He groans as if he’s in pain. “Heidi, look at me. Please don’t make this harder.”

We’re only inches apart and I try searching his eyes, but they’re the same as they always are, unreadable to me. He doesn’t say anything else, but suddenly his mouth is on mine and the electricity that slams though me is so intense, I don’t know what to do. A low moan slides out of me, and Blake groans. His hands come up to cup my face, holding me the way he wants. His tongue sweeps in and my hands curl into his leather cut, pulling him closer. Heat pounds through me, leaving me aching, restless and so confused. He finally tears himself away from me and I let out a startled cry. I wasn’t ready to stop.

“We can’t. I’m sorry, Heidi. I shouldn’t have—”

“Please don’t. It’s okay. I want—”

His hands are fisted at his sides. “It’s not okay. Don’t you understand? Your brother. Fuck, the club...I can’t. We can’t. Not now.” He runs the back of his hand over my cheek, warming me. “You’re so fuckin’ pretty, baby girl.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. No matter how hard I try not to notice, it’s impossible.”

My eyes tear up, but it’s so cold, I think the tears are frozen in place.

“Thank you.”

“I better go.”

“Okay. Are you coming back tomorrow?”

“Probably not.”

My heart breaks a little. I have a sick feeling that after tonight, I won’t see him for a while.

He leans over, grabbing the boxes again. “Here. Get inside and warm up.”

I take the bundle and can barely see over the top. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Heidi. Now go on. Let me watch you go inside.”

“Merry Christmas, Blake.”

***

I’m out of my fucking mind.

I kissed Heidi.

Shit.

Christ, if Teller finds out he’ll string me up by my fuckin’ balls. Then probably hand me over to Rock and Wrath so they can kick the shit out of me.

That sweet, fuckin’ little girl. Thinkin’ I don’t care about her. That I don’t love her. Fuck, that kills me. The hurt, confused look on her face just about did me in. I’ve got no business messin’ with her feelings that way, then leaving her alone to deal with everything I stirred up.

Every time I try to do right by her, I fuckin’ hurt her.

I refuse to dwell on how sweet she tastes. Even though it’s impossible with her scent still clinging to me. I can’t think about how right she felt in my arms, because I know it’s wrong. I can’t think about any of it or I’ll lose control and do something even stupider.

No. I’m going straight to Crystal Ball, and beggin’ Rock to send me on a long-ass run.

Anywhere away from here. I got more than a year and a half of this fuckin’ torture to live through before I can claim my girl.

In the back of my head a voice is telling me by then it will be too late. That’s a long fuckin’ time at Heidi’s age. She’s already got that little punk, Axel, sniffin’ around her. I got no right interfering in her life. She should be dating and all that shit girls her age do. But I still fucking hate it.

I tell myself it’s because I worry about her. But that’s only part of my problem.

My fist slams into the steering wheel. Fuck! I’m such a dick for messin’ with her head, just because I got all jealous. Seeing that text to her friend about Axel

kissing her sent burning pain through my chest. Still, I wasn’t going to do anything about it. But then I went and put my arms around her, trying to comfort her. And the feel of her against me, her scent…I couldn’t help it.

Fuck me. I don’t think talking to Rock will be the only thing I do at Crystal Ball tonight. Plenty of the girls will be looking for company on Christmas Eve.

Some fuckin’ Christmas.

As I step in the front door of the clubhouse, I’m greeted with the sight of Trinity rummaging around on the floor of the front hall closet. Normally it would be an exciting and rare treat to find Trin on her knees, but she looks so adorably frustrated, I don’t have it in me to hassle her tonight.

“Do you need help?”

She jumps, banging her elbow into the door frame.

“Ow, fuck. Why you gotta sneak up on me, Wrath?”

“Shit, girl, I’m sorry.”

She’s still rubbing her elbow, but her gaze is focused on the back of the closet. After another wince of pain, she drops her hands to the floor and crawls deeper into the closet. Her ass is covered in dusty grime, but it doesn’t dull the lust in me at all. I still want to peel off every frustrating layer of clothing that’s keeping her skin hidden.

“Can you grab this?” she asks, holding up a small box without looking at me.

I have no idea what she’s up to, but with most of the brothers gone for the holidays, I’ve got nothing better to do anyway.

Plus, any time I get to spend around Trinity is time well spent. Even if most of the time we end up arguing and being mean to each other. It would be awesome foreplay if she’d actually let me fuck her again. It’s been at least three years.

Three very long years.

While the other club girls do their jobs well, none of them are her. Half the time, I’m only fucking them to make Trin jealous anyway.

Besides the awful love/hate thing we got going on between us, I actually find her interesting. There are few females who actually interest me.

Trinity is unlike any other woman I’ve ever known. Her unique blend of bitchy and fragile has fascinated me since the night we met almost seven years ago. She’s not quite the same girl I remember. The vulnerability that first drew me to her is still there, but it’s different. Now she’s also more relaxed, more confident. She jokes around and even teases us sometimes.