Sexy Beast

I pull out of her and push her so she is flat on her back.

I order her to raise her hips and she obeys immediately. While pinching her nipple I shove a finger into her ass. As I finger fuck her ass I tell her to do the same to her pussy. She does two things. She squeezes my finger with her ass and plunges two fingers into her gaping hole again and again until she squirts all over her own hand. Drops of dew glisten on her coppery, heart-shaped pubic hair.

‘I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed your performance,’ she whispers, her eyes sultry, her forefinger delicately tracing the ink on my forearm. She looks at me with a wheedling expression. God, I detest women who pretend to be weak in order to control men.

I immediately start moving away from her.

‘Fuck Demi in the ass before you go,’ she says suddenly, her voice hard as pebbles.

I turn around and look at her. She is smiling, but her eyes are fathomless pits of shadows. For an extraordinary moment something shimmers between us, her cruelty, my coldness.

My cock stirs to life.

I turn my head to look at the sleeping girl. She is lying on her side with her knees curled. Poor thing can’t sleep on her front because her nipples are so raw they are twice their natural size. Can’t sleep on her back because her ass is so angry. Even her pussy has been so battered it juts out like a peeled plum from between her thighs. It actually looks as sore as hell.

I turn back to Rita and her eyes are an open door into the darkness in her soul. At that moment I see into her. And suddenly I pity her … and myself.

Is this it for us?

Is this all, we who save ourselves above everyone else, and thrive at the expense of others, will ever have?

Anonymous, meaningless fucks with other damaged creatures of the night. Where there is no guilt because it is too dark to see the willful damage we leave behind. At moments like this, does a little part of my soul crumble into dust, and fly away? The secret to the labyrinth is always at the beginning. Before you enter. Once you do it is too late. The thought makes me feel empty and depressed.

‘Breakfast is included,’ I say coldly, as I vault off the bed.

‘Is sausage on the menu?’ she calls.

I don’t answer her. Naked, I head for the shower. My hands are not clean. My greatest enemy is myself.

NINE

Layla

I walk into my local supermarket, pick up a basket, and head towards the milk section, where I grab a carton. I then quickly make for the yogurt shelves. I haven’t told anyone, not even Madison, my best friend, about the disgraceful thing I did in BJ’s bedroom two weeks ago, or the way he retaliated. It is a combination of confusion and shame. Specifically, my reaction to the punishment I received. Sometimes, at night when I am in bed, it pops into my mind and I quickly kick it away without examining it.

It seems to fit in with the tawdry mess that my life has disintegrated into. Only a month ago my life seemed perfect. I had a gorgeous boyfriend, I was training as an apprentice at a top interior design firm in Milan (a post Jake had secured for me), and I was feeling strong and independent. Then last month I walked out of my job without telling anyone and ran back home with my tail between my legs. It all began when I opened a little email that began with You are fucking MY boyfriend!

When it’s in Italian it sounds a lot worse. She had attached hundreds of photos going back five years, which indeed proved that I was fucking her boyfriend. They had celebrated birthdays, barbeques, parties, and countless occasions in the company of a whole crowd of friends, none of whom I had met, of course.

I sat at my desk utterly shocked and sick to my stomach.

But he told me I was the most beautiful woman he had ever met. That no one was more beautiful than me. And he was going to take me to meet his parents next week!

I stayed over in his apartment. There had been nothing to tell me that he was cheating and so blatantly. There wasn’t even a case of lipstick in his bathroom cupboard. The magnitude of his deception was inconceivable. Unbelievable.

I looked at his handsome face in the pictures laughing, happy, and utterly devoted to the pretty, olive-skinned woman at his side. I hadn’t known him at all. Or was it simply that I was more naïve that even my brothers believed? I felt so stupid. So cheated. So hurt. I didn’t want anyone to know that I had been the victim of such an elaborate charade and I never wanted to see the slick bastard again. All I wanted to do was run home to my mother’s house and lick my wounds in private.

Since he was one of the top designers in the firm, I simply dropped my belongings into a plastic bag and left without telling anyone. I went back to my apartment, packed my bags, and caught a business fight back to London.

I remember the guy next me on the plane, oily and expensively suited, who had tried to pick me up. The bubble of poisonous, unreasonable hate I had felt simply because he was Italian made me turn on him with so much revulsion that he shrank back with surprise. But even before we landed in Heathrow I knew I was not broken hearted. It was only my pride that was bruised.

I was not in love with Lupo. I had never allowed myself to be.

He was the most handsome man I knew, other than my brother, Shane, of course. He said all the right things. But he had always revealed his true self in bed. Especially at the beginning of our sexual relationship, when we had sex he would shout out puttana as he came. Prostitute. Even after I had asked him not to, he would sometimes slip up. And when I got mad, he apologized and told me it didn’t mean anything. It was the same as someone else screaming “Oh God!” during their orgasm. Nevertheless it had never sat well with me. And how right I had been.

After I got back to my mother’s house everyone wanted to know why I had left Milan so suddenly.

‘Did anyone upset you?’

‘Are you ill?’

‘Do you no longer want to be an interior designer?’

I never told anyone, especially my second brother, Dominic. Knowing him, he would have taken the first flight out to Milan, beat the shit out of Lupo, and calmly taken the next plane back as if nothing untoward had happened. As far as everyone was concerned, except Maddy, of course, I had come back because I was terribly, terribly homesick.

Now I am determined to start anew in London. On my own. Without any help from my family. I’ll get a job like everyone else. Jake told me I could have a try at cutting it on my own, but I had to live in one of his properties. So I moved into one of his London apartments. I was happy because I was only five tube stops away from the apartment Madison shared with her boyfriend.

Absently, I pick up a tub of Greek yogurt from the shelf and place it into my basket. Turning away, I bump into Ria.

She screams with delight. She is wearing a grey blouse, brown leather jacket, faded blue jeans, and purple and orange sneakers. I don’t think I have ever seen her look so casual.

‘Hi,’ I greet and laugh at her infectious joy at bumping into me.

‘Just the person I wanted to see,’ she exclaims with a huge grin. ‘I was going to call you to invite you to come to my birthday party on Saturday. I know it’s a bit last minute and all, but it is a last minute plan.’

I smile. ‘Twenty-four, right?’

‘Yeah, but after this year I’m freezing my age. I’m gonna be twenty-four now until I am fifty, then I will commence the count again.’ She laughs her machine gun laugh.

I laugh with her.

‘Will you come then?’

‘What kind of party is it?’ With Ria you have to ask. She’s totally unpredictable.

‘Dancing and drinking. Nothing big. Just some of my closest friends and family.’

Ria’s idea of big is not mine. ‘How many people is that?’

‘About a hundred,’ she says airily.

‘You have a hundred close friends?’

‘Don’t you?’ she asks curiously.

I struggle to keep a straight face. ‘No, Ria. I don’t.’

‘Oh!’

‘So, where

’re you having it then?’

‘Laissez-faire.’

A warning tinge swirls up my spine. ‘Isn’t that one of BJ’s clubs?’

‘Yup. Free drinks all night! Until last week I was going to keep it family only and have a party at my mum’s house, but then BJ offered his club and I couldn’t believe it.’

‘Look Ria. I didn’t realize that your birthday was going to be held in London. I am spending the weekend at my Ma’s.’

Ria waves my objection aside. ‘No problem. BJ has already agreed to pay for cabs for all my single girlfriends.’

I feel trapped. I can’t very well tell her I can’t go now after I have already agreed. ‘Um … will BJ be there?’

‘Well, he promised to drop in, but he said he won’t be able to stay for long.’

I breathe a sigh of relief. ‘What time?’

‘People are going to start arriving around nine but the party will really only get going about ten.’

‘OK.’