He looks at me with curious, surprised eyes. “Don’t you dream of dragons then?”
I shake my head. “Never.” I smile. “Is it very exciting to see a dragon in your dreams?”
He swings his legs back and forth. “Sometimes. I like it best when I’m flying with them though.”
Completely entranced, I turn more fully in his direction. “What were you doing with them this time?”
“I was fighting an evil, fire-breathing dragon. I won, but my horse died in the fire.” His voice sounds sad.
“Oh my. That’s awful,” I say, shocked by the violence in such a small child’s nightmare.
“What are you doing out of bed, Sorab?” a man’s voice rings out.
I nearly jump out of my skin. I swivel my head around and see a tall, broad man standing at the doorway. My breath catches. He is without doubt the most beautiful man I have seen in my whole life. Not even in magazines have I seen a face such as his.
Thick, straight charcoal hair falls onto his forehead. His eyebrows are straight and strong and his cheekbones and jaw are sculptured ivory. He is not wearing a suit like all the other men, but a black shirt rolled up at the sleeves. There are tattoos curling out of them. It is immediately obvious that he is different than all the other men at the party.
Like me he doesn’t belong here.
My heart is still pounding from being startled by him, and my whole body is urging me to run back to my sister’s side, but something else, something I’ve never felt before roots me to the spot. As still as a statue I gape at him.
Five
Sofia
“Uncle Jack,” the boy shouts delightedly and, jumping to the ground, runs to him.
The man grins and lifts him up easily, and swings him around. I am filled with a strange sense of loss. I am the outsider. I am always the outsider.
I stand nervously. I wish they were not blocking the doorway so I could slip out unnoticed and return to my safe spot between Lena and the Christmas tree. I even contemplate going out through the door the boy had come in from, but have to discard that idea quickly since I have no idea how to get back to the main room from the garden.
“I should be getting back to the party,” I squeak.
The man puts the boy down and looks at me. His eyes are so blue they burn like twin Bunsen burner flames in his face. My pulse begin to race.
“What’s the rush, Sofia?” he asks.
I freeze with horror and stare at him in astonishment and shock.
Oh good God! No. He knows me.
It cannot be.
Surely even I can’t be that unlucky.
This is my first trip out since my rescue. How is it possible that I’ve run into someone who has been inside me before? Still, how could I have not remembered such a beautiful man? Impossible even in my drug fueled haze. Maybe he recognized me from those videos that Valdislav made. Open your legs, Sofia. Wider, Sophia. Wider still, Sofia. Burning shame rushes up my neck and face.
He narrows his eyes. “Are you okay?”
“How do you know me?” I gasp.
He shrugs. “Someone mentioned that Lena was bringing her sister. Since I know all the other guests I guessed you had to be her.”
The relief that pours into my body is indescribable. My knees feel weak with it. He doesn’t know me. He doesn’t know me.
He holds his hand out. ‘Jack Irish.”
I hesitate, looking down at his large, strong hand for a few seconds, then, It’s all right Sofia. It’s safe. I place mine in his. An electric current zaps me at the point of contact and goes right through me, making me jump. I snatch my hand back.
His eyes glitter with curiosity.
I know I am behaving strangely, but I cannot help myself. I feel vulnerable and exposed as if those blue eyes can see into my very soul. Fortunately, at that moment I see Lana and my sister coming towards us.
“There you are,” my sister calls gaily, but she can’t keep the tinge of worry out of her voice.
“Hello, Jack. I see you’ve all met.” Lana looks down at her son. “What do you think you’re doing out of bed, young man?”
“Look, Mummy, you’re standing under the mistletoe,’ Sorab cries gleefully pointing up.
We all look upwards, and not only Lana, but even Lena and I are standing under a garland of mistletoe, red apples, and rosettes of colored paper suspended from the ceiling.
For a few seconds a strange tension fills the air. The air throbs with it. I shift my eyes to Lana. There is a strange strained smile on her face. Before I can figure out what is happening Jack curls his powerful hands around my upper-arms and, bending his head, brushes his cool, beautifully full lips against mine.
I am so stunned I stop breathing. As he lifts his head, I stare up at him with disbelief. His eyes are dark, his jaw is clenched, and there is a muscle jerking furiously in his cheek.
“Merry Christmas, Sofia,” he mutters.
I blink in confusion, my whole body in an incredible turmoil. He kissed me. A total stranger just kissed me. Why did he pick me? Do I look sluttish? Did I act skanky or cheap?
Valdislav used to say I always acted like I ‘wanted some’ but I thought he was lying. He said I was a natural born whore. Women like me were meant to be hookers. All kinds of images suddenly whirl into my head.
Men doing things to me. Touching me. Entering me. Forcing me.
Me smiling, smiling, smiling. Always pretending to be the happy hooker. Giving everybody their money’s worth.
The memories come faster and faster. I don’t know what to do to stop these ugly images. I open my mouth, but no sound will come out. I forget my surroundings and feel myself sway. I am going to faint.
In a flash Lena pushes forward and takes both my hands in hers. I fight to focus my gaze on her. Her lips are smiling, but her eyes are blazing fiercely, willing me not to fall apart.
“It’s okay,” she whispers passionately in Russian. “I’m here. Nothing can happen to you while Guy and I are around. You know that. He was just being friendly. It is their custom. It means nothing.”
I close my mouth and nod. She is right. Of course, she is right. The images are already whirling away. I’m safe. Nothing bad has happened. I simply over-reacted. It was the shock of having a man’s lips on mine. I did not expect it. I clench my hands into fists to stop them from shaking.
I know everyone is staring at me with shock. What a fool I have made of myself. I dare not even look up and meet Jack’s gaze. He must think I am weird or crazy.
“Let’s go get a drink, I know I could do with one,” Lena says gently.
I smile shakily and nod.
“You guys go ahead while I put this little monster back in his bed,” Lana says.
“Nah. I’ve got him. I’ll catch you guys later,” Jack says.
I still don’t look at him.
“Nite, nite, Sorab,” Lena says.
As for me, I am unable to utter a single sound.
“Come on, Sofia.” My sister puts her hand on my arm and starts to guide me away.
As we leave the corridor I turn my head towards the glass walls and see Jack with Sorab sitting on his shoulders moving quickly through the snow covered garden.
Sorab is gripping his head and laughing at something he said. My gaze lingers on them for a while longer as they start to climb the wrought iron staircase before I turn resolutely away.
How strange.
My heart is calling to him.
Six
Jack
I read to Sorab and stay with him until his eyelids flutter closed. It is only then that I no longer see Lana in his little face.
For so long I loved her.
For so long I thought she was mine.
I’d spent my whole life protecting her, caring for her, wanting her, then one day, without any warning, she belonged to someone else, and there was not a fucking thing I could do about it.
I was young. I thought I had time.
Fool, that I was, I was waiting for the right moment. I was so sure I knew her. I thought there would not be a single thing she could do that would surprise me. How fucking wrong I was.