Smoke and Sin (The Perfect Gentlemen 4)

He ground his hips against her thigh, letting her feel just how hard his cock was.

Two minutes before that was all she’d wanted from him. She’d wanted to end the evening with him buried deep inside her, but now she realized his entire come-on had been bullshit. He wanted to give her just enough to persuade her away from another man. The old I-don’t-want-you-but-no-one-else-can-have-you crap. And why? Because he needed to be in control? Or something deeper?

Tears threatened. She felt exposed, raw. Everyone believed she was a strong, independent woman. And she was…but not when it came to Roman Calder. He made her feel young and dumb and heedless again, so hopeful that if she gave him enough of herself, he would love her back.

Ridiculous.

“I call that something you likely get when there’s a stiff breeze in the room. Get off me.” She gave him another shove.

His expression changed as though he’d realized her rebuff wasn’t some coy ploy to heighten his anticipation and amp up the sex. “What are you talking about? I told you how it’s been for me. Augustine, why are you so angry?”

He knew the answer. “I’m going to scream if you don’t get off me right this second. Don’t think I won’t. We all know how much you don’t want to get caught fucking the office slut, so you should move quickly or this scandal will go front page.”

He practically leapt off her. “I never said that. Never fucking once, and I have a real problem with you calling yourself that. Did someone else say it? Because I’ll take off his fucking head.”

Gus had to hand it to Roman. He was so damn good she almost believed his indignant reply. Maybe he’d missed his calling and should have been an actor, instead of the White House chief of staff.

She rose quickly, shoving her skirt down and pulling the bodice of her dress up until she was covered. Yet somehow, standing in front of Roman, she still felt undressed. “You’ve got better things to do with your time than try to defend my honor, especially when you’ve always thought mine was questionable.”

He shoved a hand through his hair, pacing like a caged lion. “What’s wrong? Come on. Tonight does not have to end like this. It shouldn’t.”

“You ended this the minute you thought you could exchange sex for a ‘favor.’ Maybe you’ve decided sex is a good way to control me, but you’re wrong. I won’t let you, Roman. No matter how good you feel. I learned my lesson with you a long time ago. All I could ever get out of you is a good time in bed. You’re not built for anything else. And now the price is too high.”

“Is it so hard for you to understand that I would be jealous about you with another guy? Do you have to have us all on your string? How many men do you need at once? That was all I was asking for. As long as you’re in my bed, you’re only with me.”

“And I suppose you’ll be breaking off your date with Darcy tomorrow night?”

“That’s not the same.”

She laughed. “Of course. When you see someone else, it’s all for your job. When I do, it’s cheating. Your moral relativism is showing, Roman.” She’d worked with him for a few years now, and only when she’d shown interest in Matthew Kemp had he decided to crawl back between her legs. If she didn’t know Roman and Zack and the rest of the Perfect Gentlemen were keeping secrets, she might have been fooled. But she did. He was trying to keep her from investigating whatever the hell was going on.

What did Roman know about Mad’s death? She didn’t want to believe for an instant that he could have something to do with it, but why else would he insist that she leave another man alone? He might claim jealousy, but it seemed thin and convenient. He only seemed to care who she might be fucking when she showed interest in the very man who’d been at the airport the day of Mad’s death. Gus doubted that was a coincidence.

He took a deep breath and anchored himself in front of her, then reached out as though he meant to take her by the shoulders. When she jerked away from him, he stepped back. “Damn it, Gus. Is that what you want? I’ll call Darcy, end the whole thing. Hell, Zack basically told me to do it.”

She gave him what she hoped was a chilly smile. “I wouldn’t dream of interfering in your social life, Roman. After all, you have a job to do.”

And so did she. It was time she remembered that. The evening had gotten her closer to Matthew Kemp. They’d had a couple of drinks, shared some flirtation. Tomorrow, she would find a way into his room. Then she would damn sure discover whatever he might know about the reason Mad was killed. No forbidden, middle-of-the-night thrill with the best lover she’d ever had was going to derail her from solving Mad’s murder.

Because a thrill was all Roman would ever give her. He would take her so high she’d swear she was floating on clouds and singing with the angels. But the minute the sex ended, he’d let her crash back to earth and she would end up in the dirt, feeling battered and bruised and forgotten.

“Please. I don’t want to fight. I should have chosen my words more carefully,” Roman began. “Sit with me. Let’s talk. Nothing but talk, I swear. I’ll keep my hands to myself.”

But now she knew his game. It would not work again. Talking would lead right back to his hands all over her and him trying to manipulate her to get what he wanted, which wasn’t really sex. It was her willing silence.

“Goodnight, Roman. Have fun on your date.” She grabbed her purse and turned to go.

He reached out, gripped her elbow, and for a second she was falling down those stairs again. Her knees knocked against the wood and jarred her entire body. Her world had gone off-kilter and tumbled. Ended.

She couldn’t forget how she’d lost her baby.

Gus whirled around without thinking. One minute she was walking out the door and the next she was thrashing against Roman. Fighting. Hitting. “Don’t touch me!”

He caught her in his arms. “Baby? Baby, what’s wrong? You’re crying. Oh, my god. Please tell me why you’re crying.”

“Let her go, Roman.”

She went completely still at the sound of Connor’s voice. What had happened? She didn’t cry. She especially didn’t let anyone see her tears. Yet she could feel them now running down her cheeks.

“Let her go.” Connor stepped into the room.

Roman released her, dropping his arms to his sides with a curse. He’d gone stark white as he turned to answer Connor. “I wasn’t trying to hurt her.”

The former CIA operative’s voice went low. “I’m sorry but I was walking back to my room and you two didn’t close the door. I thought I should make sure no one walked in. Gus, let me walk you back to your room. Roman, go to bed. Don’t make me assign someone to guard her door.”

“What the hell do you think I would do to her?” Roman gaped, then turned her way. “Baby, I’m sorry. I screwed everything up. Please, just talk to me. Tell me what happened, because a moment ago you weren’t here with me. You were somewhere else bad.”

Yes, she’d gone back to that night. She’d thought she was over the hurt and pain of her loss, but tonight had proven that Roman could bring it all back. Without another word, she turned and walked out, trying to pull familiar numbness over her heart like a blanket. Hopefully by tomorrow she’d have her defenses shored up and emotions under control again.

She knew Connor was following her, but it didn’t matter. She managed to nod his way when she made it to her room.

“Gus, whatever happened in there, he didn’t mean to hurt you,” Connor said.

Yes, she’d heard that over and over again. “He never does, I’m sure.”

Connor put a hand on the wall, as though he was too tired to entirely hold himself up. “Do you want me to beat him up for you?”

She rolled her eyes. “Sure. You do that.”

“Gus, Dax isn’t here. If he hurt you, I’ll deal with him. He might be one of my best friends, but you are the closest thing I have to a sister. Don’t think I’ll let him take advantage of you.”

Clearly, she hadn’t managed numb yet, because all the feelings she

tried to quiet screamed just under the surface, scraped her raw. Damn it, she was not going to cry again. “I’m fine, Connor.”

“Do you want to talk? Because it really did look like you mentally disappeared somewhere else. Do you know what PTSD is?”

“Of course. I’m fine. It was a momentary thing. I honestly thought I was over the past. I guess Roman brings out the worst in me. Thank you for being there. I promise I’m going to stay away from him. You won’t have to save me again.”

“If you need me for anything, all you have to do is call.” Connor reached up and wiped his thumb over her cheek, brushing away the tears she hadn’t known were falling again. “I know you used to talk to Mad, but he’s gone. So if you need someone, you can open up to me. I’ll be on your side,” he vowed. “Goodnight, Gus.”

“I’m fine, but thanks. Goodnight.”

She said the words, but when the door closed, she couldn’t hold back another torrent of scalding tears a second longer.

CHAPTER SIX

The following evening, Gus felt stronger as she sat across from Liz in the office they’d taken over. It was in the east wing of the house, far from the temporary offices Zack and Roman worked from. Gus was certain Darcy Hildebrandt had something to do with that, but this evening she couldn’t say she wasn’t grateful.

She’d slept fitfully and managed to avoid the boys all day. She’d had one text from Roman asking if he could come down and talk to her. She’d replied that she needed some time and he’d relented.

Perhaps what she needed was more space. Lots of it. Maybe she should consider finding another job and moving on. But not until she’d accomplished her goal.

“Is there anything else I can get for you, Ms. Spencer?”

She looked up from her laptop. Vanessa Jones was one of the admins in the press office. She’d worked her way through the campaign’s ranks and become a press office right hand. Liz relied on her implicitly, and when they traveled, she offered to assist Gus as well. Luckily for Vanessa, Gus preferred to do most of her own work.