Overhead she heard the irritating thwack-thwack of a helicopter and she winced, her head aching from a troubled night of sleep. Ironically she had fled to what had once been her home in search of peace only to discover that peace wasn’t available to her anywhere because she could not run away from the repercussions of her angry decision not to marry Raffaele. Even now, at this late stage, she was listing them...the loss of Liz and John’s home, not to mention the upheaval that would cause for the children dependent on them, whose security would be torn away.
And she knew the cost of that, she knew the cost of constantly changing foster homes better than anyone, she reminded herself in anguish. Then there would be the jobs lost at Hacketts Tech, the devastation that would engulf so many lives. And her grandfather would probably never forgive her for her defiance, not that she craved his good opinion and affection that much. In short, she had reached the conclusion that only a totally selfish cow would refuse to marry Raffaele in such circumstances. In temper, she had dug herself into a corner and now she didn’t like herself very much.
Emerging from that despairing flood of reflections, Vivi belatedly recalled the pregnancy test and checked her watch before standing up to check the result. And the result sent a wave of dizziness currenting through her like a stinging electric charge. Dry-mouthed, she read the positive result and tottered down onto the edge of the bath because she didn’t think her legs would hold her up any longer.
Panic filled her. A baby...her as a mother with a baby. That alien concept shattered what remained of her composure. She squeezed her eyes tight shut and scanned the result again but it didn’t change. She thought of her little nephew, Teddy, and her tense face softened because she adored her sister’s little boy. Were she to have a Teddy or a female equivalent of Teddy, she would love her baby, protect and nurture her child. She had a big heart and plenty of love to offer even though she couldn’t currently see a way through the practical difficulties lying ahead. But should she even be considering bringing this child into the world when the world offered other more convenient options?
But no, she could not face a termination because she believed she would be haunted for ever by such a choice. Teddy would not have existed had Winnie chosen that route and the idea that she might never have had the opportunity to know her little nephew appalled Vivi. No, she would have her baby, whatever the consequences, not least her foster parents’ disappointment that she could have been so irresponsible, her grandfather’s rage and her sisters’ distress that she had refused to do what she was supposed to do.
‘Vivi!’ Liz shouted up from the ground floor.
Wondering how long she had been sitting in a daze contemplating her radically altered future, Vivi stood up and disposed of the evidence of the pregnancy test before going downstairs into the kitchen, where she stopped dead, frozen into shock at the sight of Raffaele sitting at the table with a cup of coffee.
‘Vivi...you have a visitor,’ Liz Brooke greeted her with a smile. ‘I wish you’d told us what was going on.’
‘Going on?’ Vivi queried in bewilderment.
‘That you were supposed to be getting married the day after tomorrow but that you and Raffaele had a terrible row and you broke it off,’ Liz supplied ruefully. ‘I knew you were unhappy but I also knew that when you were ready to talk, you would let me know what was bothering you.’
Caught on the hop by the startling revelation that Raffaele had broken the story of the wedding to her foster mother, Vivi stiffened even more. What on earth was he doing here? How the heck had he even found out where she was staying?
Unaffected by either her dismay or self-consciousness, Raffaele slid fluidly upright, brilliant dark golden eyes welded to Vivi. In jeans, ankle boots and a long-sleeved green top, she was casually clad and bare of make-up. Her corkscrew curls were caught up at the back of her small head in a clasp, stray tendrils curling colourfully round her pale heart-shaped face. Her beautiful blue eyes were shadowed, the faint scattering of freckles across her nose starkly defined by her pallor, her soft mouth taut.
‘I’m hoping you’ll talk to me now that you’ve had a chance to think things over,’ he murmured softly.
A heady combination of self-loathing and regret attacked Vivi and her eyes prickled with tears, making her blink rapidly. What an awful mess she had made of her life! Raffaele di Mancini was the father of her unborn child and, not only did he not love her, he also didn’t care about her in the slightest. She was ashamed of that reality.
Two years ago, she had started out with a crush on Raffaele that had ended with her hating him. She wasn’t very good at dealing with losing people she cared about or rejection, she acknowledged sickly. She had missed the loving arms of her parents even though she had been too young to recall their actual faces once they had gone. There had also been foster homes that were great that she had been moved on from, leaving her wondering constantly if there was something bad about her that people didn’t like and hammering what little confidence she’d still retained.
Raffaele’s reappearance in her life had awakened all sorts of conflicting emotions because when he had turned his back on her after that scandal, he had hurt her. And Vivi always remembered pain more easily than pleasure. Her self-esteem had been destroyed once she’d realised that the man she was falling in love with had readily believed that she was a prostitute. Time and time again she had dissected her own behaviour with him, asking herself what she had done or said wrong to give him such a false impression of her.
‘Some breakfast, Vivi?’ Liz prompted.
‘No, thanks.’ The thought of food made Vivi feel nauseous while she tried to prevent herself from staring at Raffaele, all sleek and dark and sensationally handsome in a business suit that would have looked more at home in a fancy office than in her foster parents’ battered old kitchen. Her chest tightened, her ribcage striving to expand to draw in breath. Her mouth was dry as a bone. ‘I’ll make myself some tea,’ she said, desperate to occupy herself.
‘No, let me,’ Liz overruled, switching on the kettle. ‘Evidently you two have a lot to talk about.’
Yes, they did, Vivi acknowledged with a sinking sensation, thinking of the child she had conceived. Much as she might want to, she couldn’t conceal that from him. All sorts of complications had arisen from Winnie’s decision not to tell the father of her child that she was pregnant and Vivi was determined not to make the same mistake. Evading Raffaele’s questioning gaze, she grasped the mug of tea that Liz extended to her.
‘Let’s go out into the garden while it’s still sunny,’ she urged tautly.
CHAPTER SIX
‘I CAN’T BELIEVE you told Liz about the wedding,’ Vivi admitted, sinking down on the home-made seat below the flowering cherry tree where she had once spent her most peaceful hours.
‘I can’t believe that you didn’t,’ Raffaele traded. ‘Were you hoping it would all just go away if you vanished?’
Vivi flushed miserably and set her teeth squarely together. She wasn’t proud of her behaviour but the whole situation had simply become overwhelming. Finding herself trapped between her grandfather’s demands and Raffaele’s, not to mention the demands of her own conscience and her sisters’ expectations, she had buried her head in the sand about the potential consequences and fled.
‘All the arrangements are still in place,’ Raffaele informed her quietly.
‘I can’t believe that you would still want to go ahead after what you said to me the last time I saw you!’ Vivi countered tartly.
‘I’m guilty of creating this situation by not maintaining a more businesslike relationship with you,’ Raffaele breathed in a driven undertone, a faint edge of dark colour accentuating his exotic cheekbones. ‘I blurred the lines between us, brought down the boundaries. What I said to you was offensive and my only excuse is that I became angry at the idea of you being with another man.’
‘I broke things off with Jude that night,’ Vivi muttered wearily, letting her luminous blue eyes linger on his strong dark face to appreciate his classic bone structure. ‘I told him that I’d met someone else and even though he was generous about it, it was a very uncomfortable couple of hours.’