It was past time to have a frank discussion with his father. Really talk. Not dance around the issue but make it clear the direction he intended his life to go. It was with that intention Lyle drove to his parents’ house that evening.
His mother opened the door. She looked surprised and pleased to see him. She glanced around him. “Is Cass with you?”
Lyle’s chest tightened at the reality that she was actually thousands of miles away. He reminded himself that he would soon be going after her. “No, she was discharged and has gone home. She asked me to say goodbye to you.” Cass had. Just before she’d told him the same at the castle door and had gone inside.
His mother placed a comforting hand on his arm. “I’m sorry. I could tell you really liked her.”
Lyle did. More than that, he loved her. “I hope she’ll come back.”
“If she is as smart as I think she is, she will.” His mother gave him a quick hug.
Lyle gave her a wry smile. “Is Dad home? I wanted to talk to him for a few minutes.”
“He’s inside, watching TV.”
Lyle took a step and stopped. “How’s he feeling today?”
Her look turned to one of slight concern. “He’s having a good day.”
“I’m glad.” Lyle started toward the living room again.
“Would you like to stay for dinner?” his mother asked.
“I’ll let you know in a few minutes after I’ve spoken to Dad.” Lyle didn’t look at his mother. He was sure her mouth was drawn with concern.
Lyle walked into the living room with his shoulders squared in determination. His father was watching TV. “Hi, Dad.”
“Hello. This is an unexpected visit.”
Lyle took a seat on the sofa instead of the closer chair so that the two of them faced each other. “Dad, I need to discuss something with you.”
He turned off the TV. “Are you here to tell me you’ve signed up for active duty?” His delight showed clearly on his face.
“About that. Dad, I’m not going to go on active duty by choice ever again.”
That joy on his father’s face quickly turned to disappointment.
“I have a good job here. I’m needed and I believe I’m respected. Army life isn’t for me. It never really was. I did it for you. That’s not how I want to live my life. I need to do what I love and that’s medicine here, at the clinic. I’m sorry if I’m disappointing you. I’ve known this for a long time and I’ve only led you to believe that I might one day go on active duty again to make you happy, and for that I apologize.”
His father’s look had darkened as Lyle spoke. He leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands together. His expression didn’t waver. Lyle knew that one well from his childhood days when he was in trouble. “I can’t say that I am pleased with your decision. It’s in our family’s blood to be career soldiers. I brought you up to think that way as well.”
“You did. But I love private medicine more. I want to serve in another way.”
His father settled back, looking both old and tired. “I see that now. I guess I didn’t want to before. I grew up with my father stressing that our family fought for people by serving in the armed forces. I was given no choice, my father wasn’t given one either. But we were both happy with our lots in life. It was our duty to protect. It was all I knew. All I knew to hand down to you. I never thought you would want to go another way, Lyle. I have to admit your young lady’s impassioned speech did make me think, though.”
Cass had done that. Lyle’s ego still got a boost whenever he thought of her words.
“I heard the talk around the village about that girl going missing and what you and Cass did to save her,” his father continued. “Since then others have stopped me and told me how much they appreciate you being here and the importance of the clinic. I’m proud when I hear it. I’m sorry that you’re not going to return to the army but I do love you, son.”
Lyle went across to his father and gave him a hug. Afterwards he called, “Mum, I’ll be staying for dinner.”
* * *
Cass had never known misery like the kind she’d endured on the way to the airport. Everything in her screamed to return to Lyle. But he hadn’t even waved goodbye. Had she hurt him that much? She felt sick inside.
The tears had flowed the entire trip to Fort William and then on to Aberdeen. More than once the taxi driver had looked in his rearview mirror with apprehension, but he’d said nothing.
She’d done everything she’d told herself not to. She’d let herself care. About him. The people at Heatherglen. Even Andy and that funny-looking dog, Dougal. Hero. Her emotions had been in a muddle when she had arrived at the clinic, and they weren’t any better now that she’d left.
She’d known fear from when she’d almost lost her brother. She’d experienced deep loss from losing Rufus. And now Lyle was gone. This time was harder. She couldn’t even breathe, the pain was so strong. Worse, she had chosen this. She wrung her hands.
She couldn’t turn back. All she’d said to Lyle was true. She needed to have her act together before she made an emotional commitment to anyone, especially to him. Her parents were expecting her. It was Christmas, and they were worried about her. She had to see them first.
What her future would look like still needed to be decided. Search and rescue was no longer for her. So what would she do now? There was also her house to think about. When she had her life in order, she’d see if Lyle still felt the same. He deserved someone who knew what she wanted and had her head on straight. Only then would she return to Lyle and discuss any future they might have.
The flight home wasn’t much better emotionally than her ride to the airport. She’d only found relief in the few hours she had slept. Her parents were there to meet her. They quickly enveloped her in tight hugs. She needed those more than anything at the moment. They insisted that she go to their house for dinner and stay the night. Cass didn’t resist. Right now she wanted their circle of security. With them she could just be, not think. She needed time to regroup.
Her parents’ home was decorated for Christmas. Cass should have expected that. The minute she looked at their tree, her eyes filled with tears. It was all light, tinsel and glitter. It made her appreciate the simple, natural tree that stood in Lyle’s living room. More than that, she wanted Lyle.
Her brother and his family came for supper the next day. With two young children, the meal was lively. Cass was glad to see them but she was so exhausted, both mentally and physically, that she excused herself early. Despite all the tears she’d shed during the day, she still wanted a good cry. She hurried to her childhood bedroom and closed the door. Minutes later she was in the shower, letting those banked tears flow.
By the time there was a knock on the door she was in bed. “It’s Mom. Can I come in?”
“Yes.”
Her mother entered, carrying a mug. “I brought you some tea. I thought it was too late for coffee.”
That was enough to have Cass’s eyes swimming once more. She’d never cried this much in her entire life. Never been this distraught. The idea she might never have a chance to share time with Lyle again had her emotionally splintered. She had to get control of herself. Showing her emotions like this wasn’t her. But, then, much about her over the last few weeks was different. Like pulling Lyle into the tub. That had been so much fun, for a number of reasons.
Her mother set the tea on the bedside table then perched on the edge of Cass’s bed. “I had no idea you hated tea so much, or is something else going on? What’re you not telling us? Are you still in pain?”
Cass hated the fear she heard in her mother’s voice. “I told you everything about my injury. I promise I’m much better. It’s my heart that’s broken. And I think I’m the one who broke it.” She poured out her sorrow and what had happened while she’d been at Heatherglen.
Her mother held her while she cried. When she settled down her mother said, “So what’re your plans now, honey?”
“I don’t know. Tomorrow morning I’m going to call about my job. I’m going to resign from it. That work isn’t for me anymore.”
Her mother patted her leg. “Your dad will be pleased to hear that. We’ve worried about you being in all those far-flung places by yourself for too long.”