I just wish he would have found it with me.
“So that’s it? No threats to bust his kneecaps with a bat? No shouts of limp dick from across the parking lot? You’re just going to forgive him and go about your merry way?” Birdie asks, a little disappointment on her face that there won’t be any violence.
“I’m not the kind of person to hold a grudge.”
You know, going forward. We won’t count this last year.
“Like I told you guys last night, I’m going to be mature about this. As soon as I see him again, I’m going to apologize for being mean, so I can ease my conscience, and then give him a chance to explain,” I finish.
“Probably a wise decision to make peace as soon as possible.” Birdie nods. “Audrey Hessler at Island Brew told me when I stopped for coffee this morning that he’s renting a long-term cottage, not a short-term one. If he’s gonna be here for a while, you’re bound to run into each other, and there’s no sense in making it awkward like I did with Palmer when I kept running away from him and avoiding him.”
She did do that, even though I kept telling her not to.
And I heard the same thing about Shepherd and the cottage rental from one of the other moms before they started talking about him like a piece of meat. Summersweet Island law states that when a rumor is told twice, it’s now fact, so that’s just great.
“Harrison!” I shout, pausing our conversation again to focus my attention on practice and our shortstop behind the plate. “You can’t hit the ball if you can’t see it! Keep your head down all the way through your swing.”
Birdie and I are quiet for a few minutes, watching Harrison step up to the plate for his next pitch. He keeps his head down like I told him to, and if he were hitting in a game instead of taking soft-tosses from one of his teammates sitting on a bucket right next to him, and his hit went out into the field instead of into a net a few feet away, it would have definitely been a nice line drive. I shout out some words of encouragement to Harrison, a small smile of satisfaction on my face until I start talking to my sister again as I stare blindly out at the activity on the field.
“The next time I see Shepherd, I’m going to be polite, and mature, and apologize. You’re absolutely right, and there’s no point making things awkward.” I sigh, looking down at the hem of Owen’s old T-shirt, focusing all my attention on a string that came loose as I fiddle with it. “It’s going to be awkward enough seeing him all the time and pretending like he doesn’t mean anything to me, even after how much he hurt me.”
He’s got someone important in his life now. I don’t know if she’ll be joining him here on the island or not for his extended stay, but I might as well just assume it and start preparing myself now. Even if he gives me a rational explanation for what happened between us, he’s still not mine. He never really was; I just borrowed him for a little while. Now, he has someone willing to go on national television and tell the world how much she loves him, when I couldn’t even tell him watching him play on TV was always the most thrilling moments of my life, aside from messaging with him. I can’t even hope for friendship again. No woman in their right mind would be okay with their man talking to another woman as much as we did, and I really can’t blame her.
My sister pats my back soothingly right when I hear the ding of an incoming text on my phone. Pulling it out of my back pocket, I click on the new text without paying attention to who sent it.
“You’re welcome!” Ashley chirps from the stands behind me when the photo she sent opens up as large as possible on my phone and my knees almost give out.
“Jeeesus Christ, that’s what he looks like under his Hawks jersey?” Birdie groans from over my shoulder as she looks down at the phone in my hand, and I can hear her panting in my ear.
Or maybe that’s me…. Yep, that’s me. Sweet mother of God, he looks like he was chiseled out of marble.
Unable to help myself, I press my fingers against the screen and zoom in a little, bringing the phone up closer to my face while Birdie is practically climbing the fence behind me to get a better look over my shoulder.
“Forgive him. Forgive him immediately, even if he tells you he dropped you because aliens invaded his brain and he lost all control. Doesn’t matter what he says with a body like that.” Birdie hums in approval, her chin now resting on my shoulder.