Swing and a Mishap (Summersweet Island 2)

CHAPTER 21Shepherd

“Swing and a Mishap.”I don’t even pay attention to the celebration happening behind me. I just stand here in the middle of Wren’s yard staring at her front door she disappeared behind a few minutes ago with a big, shit-eating grin on my face. I bounce on the balls of my feet, not wanting to move an inch until she and Owen come back outside.

Until my family comes back outside.

“He’s better than you, and he’s kinder than you, and he only thinks of Owen’s happiness instead of his own fucking agenda, and God, I love him so much for that.”

Wren’s words I heard her say to Kevin when I first got here and started stalking across her yard play on a repeat in my head, along with the part where she told him Owen’s father was here now, and it certainly wasn’t him.

Goddamn, that woman can make me feel like the king of the world with just a handful of perfect words, and I’m so proud of her for the way she handled things today. It’s not until I hear some loud cursing from Tess and Birdie back in the driveway that I turn around in confusion from my happy vigil staring at Wren’s door.

Right as a body slams into mine along with a mouth against my lips. There’s a moment of confusion as I wrap my arms around the woman and wonder how Wren got out of her house and behind me so fast. And then I realize Wren’s lips aren’t this sticky, her body isn’t this bony, she doesn’t drown herself in so much obnoxious perfume it gives me a headache, there’s no way Tess and Birdie would be screaming their heads off if Wren were kissing me, and what in the holy Jesus fuck is happening right now—I know exactly who the hell this is!

“You have got to be shitting me right now!”

A shout from the woman I’m supposed to be kissing has me waking the hell up and jerking my head back from the gross, sticky mouth that was on mine. Just in time to see a seriously upset Wren standing in the doorway of her house, right before she steps back inside and slams the door closed.

“What in the actual fuck, Alana?” I scream, my head whipping back to the biggest mistake of my goddamn life as I shove her away from me and take a bunch of steps back as I swipe the shit off my lips from her stupid lip gloss.

“Let me at her! Let me at her!” Birdie screams from the driveway as Palmer stands behind her with both his arms wrapped tightly around her flailing body.

Tess just reaches into her golf cart and pulls out a blow torch, turning the knob until the gas hisses out of the nozzle and then clicking the ignite button until fire shoots out the end as she smiles serenely at my ex.

“Do you have any idea how dirty and disgusting that ferry was?” Alana complains, looking down at her phone in her hand, not even realizing she’s about thirty seconds from going up in flames. “You could have at least sent a yacht for me if you wanted me here.”

“Seriously. What. In. The. Fuck!” I shout again, wondering if I’m in the goddamn Twilight Zone. “Is it National Ex Day and no one told me? Is there a hashtag I should be using? Why do I feel like I’m in the worst fucking romantic comedy of all time? Who’s writing this shit?”

I scan all the faces in the yard, but everyone just looks at me with blank expressions except for Tess, who looks like she might start humping the blow torch in her hand.

“Oh, don’t be like that, Sheppy,” Alana coos, making me actually dry heave. Loudly… and violently. “That friend of yours, Kevin something or other. He sent me a message on Instagram and told me how much you missed me and how you were just too shy to tell me yourself.”

“Fucking Kevin,” I mutter, shaking my head and then looking at the woman standing in front of me with her fake tits, and her fake teeth, and her fake lips, and her fake hair, and so much plastic in her body she really should be concerned with that blow torch and not about me.

I can’t believe I ever thought for even a second that she could take the place of Wren. Perfect, gorgeous, sweet, soft Wren who tastes like heaven and who might not ever forgive me for opening the door and having to witness me kissing this woman again.

Goddammit!

“Listen, Alana, you need to get the hell out of here. Now,” I tell her, not even giving a shit if I hurt her feelings. I need to get my ass inside that house and make sure Wren’s okay. “I don’t want you here, I never wanted you here, and I never will want you here. The only woman I will ever want is inside that house right now, probably fucking devastated and—”