Breathing out, Tatum looked around before speaking. In truth, Tatum had been holding it in all day, dying to tell the only person who had ever stuck by her side.
“Oh God, Kiki.” She couldn’t help her smile as she told her friend every wonderful, incredible, and amazing part of her night with Leo. When it was all said and done, Kiki’ expression was priceless, and the fact that she was speechless was even better.
“You little slut.” The smile and tone that poured off Kiki told Tatum she didn’t mean the insult. “I can’t believe you let him screw you.”
Tatum almost spit out of her drink. “God, Kiki. Do you have to say it like that?”
“What? Girl, that is totally what he did. Leo Castill fucked your brains out, and by the look on your face, you loved it and want to do it again.”
Tatum felt her cheeks heat with embarrassment. She looked down at the glossy table and felt her thoughts take over.
“Hey.” Kiki reached over and took her hand. “Sweetie, don’t go there, okay?”
Tatum looked into her deep-blue eyes. Her friend’s long blonde hair was swept in a stylish side ponytail, and her halter top left little to the imagination. Her vile thoughts invaded her mind, trying to take her down, but she wouldn’t let them have her this time.
“Kiki, I like him.”
“I know, honey.” She tightened her hold on Tatum’s hand and smiled.
“No, I really like him, and that scares the shit out of me.” The restaurant seemed overly crowded all of a sudden. “Ever since I met him, I have felt this attraction to him that goes against everything I feel comfortable with. It’s so intense, Kiki, that I feel like I’m spiraling out of control every time he’s in the same room.” Tatum closed her eyes. She could smell him, even when he wasn’t physically with her. “And the way he smells. God, it drives me crazy.” When she opened her eyes, it was to see her friend looking wistful. “What?”
Kiki’s smile grew. “Honey, I am just so glad you finally let yourself feel something.”
Tatum shook her head and pulled her hand out from under hers. “That’s why I’m so scared. I’m frightened that once I tell him about how screwed up I am, he’ll look at me differently. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted someone as much as I want him, but I know once I tell him—because he deserves to know—he’ll want nothing to do with me.”
“Tatum, look at me.” She hadn’t realized she looked away until Kiki’s words penetrated her self-loathing. “If you really want this, want to move on with your life and leave the hateful, toxic waste behind you, you have to take that first step. And you know what? If Leo wants to be a coward after you spill your heart to him, then fuck him. There is someone out there for you, Tater, someone who will love you, because you’re a wonderful human being with so much to give.”
Kiki moved and sat in the seat beside her. “Listen to what I’m saying.” She took Tatum’s face in both her hands until their eyes locked. To the patrons around, it probably looked like they were about to kiss. “Since I started working at the club, I have never seen Leo more enamored with a woman than he is with you. The way he looks at you…” She shivered, and a dreamy look passed over her face. “The way he looks at you is the kind of look a man gives a woman he wants to devour. And, honey, Leo Castill wants to gobble you up. I don’t want to hear about what might happen if you open up to him. If you are serious about him, and he is a good guy who is willing to give you what you deserve, he’ll stick by your side.” Kiki leaned in close. “You should see the way he looks at you when you aren’t aware. It makes me wish I could find Beau and make him do me against the bathroom wall in the club.”
Tatum gasped then giggled. “You’re so bad.”
“Yeah, but that’s why you love me.” A serious look replaced Kiki’s playful one. “Now, what are you going to do? You plan on letting that bitch of a mother continue to control your life, even from the grave, or are you going to dive in headfirst and take what you want?” The hopeful look on Kiki’s face made Tatum want to take that leap forward.
“I’m going to take what I want.”
“Thatta girl.”
They finished lunch and did a bit of shopping, but all Tatum could think about was going to Leo and laying it all out for him. She threw caution to the wind and was ready to let herself feel free for the first time in her life.