His Christmas Cookie

When I was younger they would drive me crazy at times, but now that I’m older I get it. I want to be able to carry them on too.

“Should we wait for Frost?” Pumpkin asks when everyone starts to sit down at the table. She tilts her head to the side, giving me a pointed look that is so much like Mom. I could do without that passing through the family, because Pumpkin is nailing it right now.

“We don’t know how long he’ll be. He seemed to have his hands full.” I try to keep the anger out of my voice, but again my sister studies me. She can read me too well, and I both love and hate it. I dig into the food so everyone else will too and so I can look away from my sister.

“I’ll be right back. Eat, krasota.” Miller kisses the top of my sister’s head before stepping out of the dining room. I have no doubt it’s to call or text his brother, so I eat faster.

I have a feeling Frost will be coming along soon. Part of me hopes he shows up, but the other part isn’t ready to face him. I expected him to call for another car, but what if he went back into the restaurant and stayed to talk to them? My mind is still swirling over the word engagement.

The older woman said the groom should be there, intimating that Frost was the groom.

There’s no way…but the woman named Chel seemed to know Frost well enough. It was like a stab to my heart when I saw her wrap herself around him and kiss his cheek as if she had every right to. She acted as if it was the way they always greeted each other. It wasn't the kiss on the cheek that bothered me the most but the way she tried to push her body into his.

He quickly pushed her aside, which made me wonder a few things. Frost might not be into public displays of affection, or he did it because I was there to see it. What if I hadn't been there at all? How would it have played out then?

One thing I do know for sure is that seeing that small gesture by this Chel person hurt more than when I walked in on my ex getting a blowjob. One he said he was getting because he needed the release. He’d actually tried to make me feel guilty about it, but it didn’t work.

Nathan said I was cold whenever he tried to move past a small makeout session. Men have needs, I believe were his words. When Nathan and I kissed, I didn't feel anything. I thought maybe I just didn't like sex or something, at least until Frost. When he kissed me, it was like my body was consumed with lust and need. I’d never felt more alive than when Frost touched me.

I’m torn between eating fast to get out of here or lingering to make sure he does come back. Both are ridiculous because I shouldn't care what he’s doing.

There’s nothing frosty about the way Frost kissed me. When he got mad at the idea of keeping us a secret, I almost broke right there. I think he might have weakened me, but I’m trying to quickly rebuild my walls with shaky hands.

“How was the mall?” Mom asks. “Did you get the rest of your shopping done?”

“I can’t wait for white elephant this year. With more people it’s going to be extra fun,” Pumpkin answers her, and I stay quiet.

“My brother is not engaged,” Miller says as he sits down at the table.

“Engaged?” my dad echoes, sounding mad about it.

“Nyet, my mother is up to her old games.”

Pumpkin rolls her eyes, and I wonder if that’s the older woman I saw. Wow. I know they don’t have a normal family dynamic from what I understand, but why would his mother do that? Pumpkin called their mom a snake one time, and I felt bad that they didn't have loving parents like we have. But maybe there’s more to this story than Pumpkin ever told me.

He might not be engaged, but he knew that woman, Chel. They have history, and for all I actually know they could have a present too. My head is too much of a mess to deal with more Frost today. I need to be on my A game with him, and right now I’m not.* * *I finish eating and pop up from my chair. “Dinner was wonderful, but I really should get going. I have another present I need to pick up before the store closes. I couldn't pick it up before because Pumpkin was with me,” I explain, and it’s not a lie. I do need to pick up the gift that came to mind today when we were shopping.