“Anything I can do for you?” I asked as I stepped closer to the bed.
“Run interference for me?” she asked. “Clara was all sweet with that doctor, but I have a feeling she’s going to be a lot more sour when she gets me alone.”
I chuckled and reached down to take a frail hand in mine. “I’m not making any promises. You really scared her, Olga. Scared me, too,” I said sincerely.
“I know,” she said softly and then looked up and smiled. “And what’s this Olga nonsense. You heard the doctor. You’re my loving grandson who will make sure my obstinate granddaughter won’t rake me over the coals too badly.”
“You can’t blame her,” I said, bending down to kiss the top of her head.
“I know,” she said softly, giving a long sigh. “I certainly didn’t mean to scare her. She deserves so much better, you know?” she said sincerely. “I know my granddaughter has done some bad things. But she isn’t a bad woman.”
“I know.” I nodded at her. “I can see that.”
“Has she told you about her birth parents?”
I instantly shook my head at this. Sure, I knew her favorite color was red and her favorite TV series had been made from her favorite books of the Outlander series. She enjoyed cheese of all kinds and had surprised me by stating she adored jalapeños. But those were really superficial things. Clara hadn’t mentioned anything personal about her past that went further back than the last few years. It was almost like she had shut everything else out. As if in her mind, the true beginning of her life had been the moment she’d walked away from the one she’d led until that moment of epiphany she’d mentioned to me.
“Well, I hope this will make you understand a little more. I lost my husband in the war, but found solace in raising our daughter. I immigrated to America to begin again. When our Katerina discovered she was pregnant, she was so happy. Even though Clara’s father wanted nothing more to do with Katerina once he discovered she was going to have a baby, she was looking forward to having a child.”
Olga spoke so softly, and there was a look in her eyes that told me she wasn’t seeing the room around her; she was seeing the past.
“Those years weren’t always easy, but they were some of the happiest I’ve ever known. Katerina loved that little girl more than anything else. I’ll never forget the sight of Katerina dancing around the room with Clara in her arms… a tiny replica of herself.”
I didn’t like where this story was going. I could already tell there was a lot more sadness, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to hear it. Olga didn’t offer me the choice.
“Then, when Clara was two years old, Katerina’s car was struck in an intersection. Clara was in the crash, but she managed to survive with only a few scratches. The car that hit them lost all the passengers as well, which included several children. Clara always wondered why she alone survived.” Olga sighed deeply, and I felt a bolt of sickness coursing through me.
“People assured me they could place the baby with an adoption agency, but I refused to allow that. I told them my angel had died, and it was my honor to raise another, to make sure her own little angel knew how much her mother had wanted her… had loved her. It was a heartbreaking tragedy to lose my only child, but an incredible blessing to be allowed to raise hers. Clara was never a difficult child. Even when she was older and decided to try reconnecting with the man who’d fathered her, she didn’t scream and rant when she learned he’d disappeared without a trace. But inside, I knew she was hurting…”
Olga paused again and then looked at me.
“You have experience with the same sort of tragedy,” she said quietly. “You’ve lost both your parents as well.”
I wasn’t sure I could trust myself to speak for a moment, and yet I nodded. “Yes, but at least I was given the gift of knowing both.”
Olga nodded. “And they had the blessing of you for at least a little while. I think Clara feels she’s cursed or something. Like a dark cloud follows her. I think that’s why she went so crazy when she found out I was ill. I think she’s too afraid to lose me.”
“She loves you,” I said as if that was an answer to soothe the older woman’s heart.
“I’ve never doubted that for a moment. I don’t fear death. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled I have at least a small chance of spending what years I have remaining in less pain if this trial goes well, but I’m not afraid to go except that it breaks my heart to know Clara is absolutely terrified of being all alone.”