“You ever heard of airplanes?” suggested Mickey.
“John has a point,” noted Zoe. “SARS and the Bird Flu, they didn’t really make it here. I think only eight people died of SARS in the U.S.”
“I’m telling you guys,” I interjected. “The shit I’ve been reading online about this new virus is fucking scary. It’s contagious as hell. You can get it just by talking to people. Seriously. From, like, spittle.”
“Don’t talk to any sick people,” suggested John. “Simple.”
“That won’t work, dumbass,” Mickey said. “It’s asymptomatic. By the time you realize you’re contagious, you’ve already spread it.”
“What I’ve read is worse than that,” I insisted. “They’re saying this thing has an incubation period of two weeks or more. You can literally walk around for two weeks, not knowing you have it, and spread it everywhere. And by that time, you’ve probably infected dozens of people.”
“That can’t be true,” insisted John. “No way!”
“I’m scared, John,” Zoe said, using it as an excuse to cuddle closer, as if she needed one. “What if we go to a nice restaurant and the cook is sick or something?”
“What nice restaurant?” John asked. “We’re on campus. There’s plenty of food here.”
“Yeah, but we might go to a nice place on a date,” she said, making the not-so-subtle suggestion again. “The waiter could touch your plate or your bread.”
“And it can live on surfaces, like, for days,” I informed them. “You have to check out some of the stuff they’re saying online.”
“I just got an alert,” Mickey announced. “Did anyone else get it? They’re closing the school.”
“What? That has to be a joke,” said John, getting out his phone.
We all did the same. Sure enough, we had each received the text. The college was going to close down for the rest of the semester due to this pandemic. They were going to have us take classes over Zoom.
“This is bullshit,” I objected. “How am I going to do a science lab over Zoom?”
“Well, yay,” cheered John. “I think I just aced all my music classes!”
“Baby, you would’ve aced them anyway,” Zoe encouraged him.
“Aw, this is fucked. Fucked!” I growled.
“Whoa, dude, chill,” said Mickey. “What’s the big deal?”
“My mother’s new husband,” I told them, annoyed. “I told you guys about him, right? My mother goes and cheats on my dad and leaves him for this guy, and I’m just supposed to just suck it up and live with him, too, now. Can you imagine? I was so glad I could go to college and live on campus instead, but now I have to go back to that fucked-up situation.”
“That sucks, dude,” John said. “Could you live with your dad instead?”
“He’s broke and lives in a small studio apartment, so I have to live with my mom and Richard instead,” I sneered. “Fuckin’ jackwagon, this guy.”
“I know what that’s like,” Mickey sympathized. “My dad left my mom for this actress. She’s fuckin’ hot, but, still, it was truly a dick move.”
“Relationships are such bullshit,” I spat.
I was glad I had my friends to talk to, even though soon we would all be heading our separate ways. We had had a lot of good times together, such as when we would sneak in whiskey have a party in our dorm, and we had also helped each other weather some bad times, such as when I almost flunked chemistry but they rallied for an all-night study session and taught me what I needed to know. I wasn’t sure what I would do without them during this pandemic.
“That’s not true,” Zoe said, sounding very defensive. “They can be a beautiful thing between two people.”
“Stay in your lane, babe,” John warned. “This is Phil’s situation and really has nothing to do with us.”
“No, seriously, don’t you want your mom to be happy?” she pressed me.
“That’s not the point, Zoe,” I countered. “My dad is unhappy and paying out the ying-yang in alimony while my mom and Richard… well, fuck it. Who cares? I guess I don’t have to talk to him or his awful daughter.”
“Whoa, dude!” laughed Mickey. “You really hate this guy. You even have to bring his daughter into it?”
“No, seriously, his daughter is really hot, but she was totally stuck up at the wedding,” I told them. “Her bridesmaid dress must have come with a stick to insert up her ass.”
“Was it a nice wedding?” asked Zoe.
The guys and I just looked at her.
“What? I love weddings,” Zoe shrugged.
“Can we just go to the dining hall, please?” I urged. “Guess this will be our last lunch for a while.”
We made our way there and found that the lines weren’t very long. Already, the student body was packing up and getting ready to leave and go home.
“Shit, this shutdown is for real,” said Mickey, reading from his phone. “All classes are canceled after today. We have to go home by the end of this week!”