Lock Step - Love Under Lockdown

Unfortunately, though, I couldn’t hide in my room forever. Eventually, I had to come out to use the bathroom or grab some food.

I decided I would peek out of my doorway, make sure Phil wasn’t in the hall and then sneak downstairs in my socks. I was convinced he was in his room since the door was shut, so I was safe.

But then, boom! There he was.

“Hey, Tracianne,” he said, obviously trying to engage again.

No, I wouldn’t let him.

“Sorry, gotta go,” I said quickly, rushing out of the room and into the nearest doorway.

This time, I found myself in the pantry. It was pretty large, and I wasn’t by myself. To my surprise, I found Daphne in the room, sobbing on the floor.

“Oh, sorry,” I muttered. “I guess you’re using the pantry. I’ll go.”

“No, Tracianne, please,” she begged. “Can we talk?”

I wanted to leave, but talking to Daphne was probably easier. Plus, I did feel bad that she was crying in here all alone. What the hell was that about?

“Yeah, sure,” I agreed. “Are you okay? Why are you crying?”

“I just, well, I’m trying to be a good mother and I— I feel like I’m failing you!” she cried.

“Oh, no, you’re not,” I said gingerly. “You’re my stepmother, so it’s different.”

“You probably hate me!” she exclaimed.

“No-no-no,” I assured her. “I just, well, this is an adjustment for me.”

“Me too,” she sniffed. “I didn’t think it would be this hard.”

Now I felt really bad. God, maybe Phil was right. I was a total brat. A huge bitch, really. I had certainly done everything I could to alienate Daphne. I wasn’t even happy at her and my dad’s wedding and I usually love weddings. Maybe it was time not to make this all about me.

“Daphne, I’m sorry,” I sighed. “Maybe I have been rough on you. I didn’t mean to be a jerk, but— it’s hard.”

“I know.”

“I think you’re a nice person and my dad loves you a lot, so, I just—” I took a big breath, not sure what to say— “Baby steps, right?”

“Sure,” she sniffed.

I sat down next to her on the pantry floor.

“Oh, this is nice,” I noted. “It’s cool down here. Is there where you come to cry?”

“Not normally. I mean, I’m not normally crying,” she explained. “I used to be happy. Back when I was your age.”

“Phil thinks you’re a wonderful mother,” I offered.

“He said that?”

“Well, we don’t talk much,” I admitted, not wanting to lie too much. “It’s certainly implied. You know how men are when it comes to expressing their feelings.”

“I don’t think women are all that great at it either,” she confessed. “You know, I always wanted a daughter. Not instead of Phil, of course, but I mean, like, another kid. I thought maybe we could do girly things, like go shopping or go get our hair done.”

“That sounds nice,” I agreed.

Well, I guessed I could do a shopping date with her. I mean, I felt like I owed her a nice day out.

What would be the big deal, right?

We’d go to brunch, then hit the mall, buy some stuff, maybe go to Starbucks. After the lockdown was over and things opened back up again, of course.

I mean, you’d have to be made of stone not to enjoy an afternoon like that, right? I could use a good shopping trip. And it wasn’t like my dad was going to take me.

“You don’t have to, if you think you need to be nice to me.”

“No, I want to go,” I insisted. “I think we’d have a good time. You like T.J. Maxx?”

“The one right by the mall? Yeah. I wonder when they’ll be open again.”

“I can’t imagine they’ll keep all the stores and the whole mall closed forever,” I said hopefully. “I mean, people have to buy stuff, right?”

“That’s true. We’ll see what happens in the future, but I’d like to go there with you,” she said, smiling. “And in the meantime, how’s schoolwork going?”

“Good, actually. It’s pretty easy now that everything’s online. Most people have the answers and start emailing them to me before the professor can fully explain what the assignment is.”

“Did the virus really disrupt things for you on campus?”

“Yeah. I had friends there. We were close.”

“What about boys? Were you seeing anyone?”

“Not really,” I said, worried that she’d keep pressing. I hoped I wasn’t blushing! “I just wanted to catch up on my schoolwork.”

“Really? Not even one boy? At college, my God, the guys just seemed to be everywhere.”

“Yeah, they kind of are,” I agreed. “There was this one guy. Jared. But I made a fool of myself in front of him. Had a little too much to drink.”

“That usually ends up with someone waking up looking the fool.”

“I was tempted, but no,” I admitted. “Jared was a cool guy. I don’t know. Maybe when I get back. Seems like we’re so far from that.”