“It’s wrong. You have to know that.”
I struggled with those thoughts too. I had felt bad because Noah had been married to my sister. I was worried about what people would think and what it meant about my moral standings.
The biggest thing that ate me up was how Kylie would feel. Was this just me jumping on the opportunity with no regard to my late sister? The guilt was heavy, and it was part of the reason why I left when Noah asked me. It was easier to run away than deal with my mixed-up feelings, and I could blame him at the same time. But after some deep thought and soul searching, I realized we weren’t doing anything wrong. Yeah, it was a little weird, but our feelings for one another just grew because we had fostered a deep connection after a major tragedy.
“It’s not, Noah. I know it feels strange—”
“No one can replace Kylie.”
There was a long pause after Noah said that. Did he think that was what I was trying to do?
“I don’t want to replace Kylie. I’m not Kylie. I’m Scarlett, and I want to be here as Scarlett.”
“It’s not that simple…”
“Isn’t it. I mean, I can help out. You can’t stay in the mansion forever. I was here for a year and saw how you shut yourself up in here. And it doesn’t look like much has changed. Plus, maybe Olivia should try out a preschool before going to kindergarten. Do you have any plans for her?”
“I’ve been thinking about it,” he mumbled.
“Olivia’s lonely, Noah. She doesn’t really have any friends. There’s Bryant, but she needs to be around people more. Let me help with that.” I tried to reach out and touch him, but Noah backed away.
“She doesn’t need a new mom,” Noah bit back. “A sibling would do her more good.”
It hurt that he was talking to me like this. It felt like his opinion of me was low to think I just wanted to come in and take over. I wanted to work with Noah. I needed him to understand that.
Maybe I needed to do something drastic.
“Okay, then.”
“Okay, what?” Noah looked at me, his eyes searching mine.
“I can help with giving Olivia a sibling.”
It sounded absolutely crazy coming out of my mouth, and my thoughts were backed up with the look Noah gave me.
“What?”
“I want to help, Noah.”
I doubled down—no backing out now. And I didn’t want to, not really. I wanted Noah to understand how committed I was to Olivia. And how committed I was to him as well.
This time, I was putting up a fight, even if that meant having his child.Chapter Six - NoahAfter Scarlett and I had our weird morning conversation, I told her I needed some time on my own. She didn’t seem happy, but she also didn’t argue. She went to her room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I wasn’t alone enough, though. I needed to get outside.
I wrote a note letting Scarlett know I was heading out. I asked her to pick up my daughter from Hope and Darren’s house. Olivia would enjoy seeing her aunt, and I knew Hope would too. I grabbed a small pack and filled it with a few things I would need for my hike before heading out.
I went to one of my preferred paths. It wasn’t near the cliff where Kylie had her accident. That one used to be our favorite, but ever since, I hadn’t gone back. It was hard to think about her. My wife and I hadn’t had much time together. We met a year before we got married, and the connection was instant. I had never fallen for anyone the way I fell for Kylie. I had planned on spending the rest of my life with her.
Once we were married, Olivia was born not too much time later. We were a happy little family. We had three years of perfect bliss, and then she was gone. It felt like some kind of divine punishment. I hadn’t been a bad person, but I wasn’t necessarily good before I met Kylie. She gave me purpose outside of building up my business, something I ended doing more out of obligation more than anything. Kylie showed me I could follow my own path.
Now that she was gone, did that path include Scarlett? When Kylie and I were together, I was actually under the impression that Scarlett didn’t like me. Kylie would always tell me that wasn’t true, but she never really spoke to me. The birth of Olivia seemed to create a bridge between us, but we were never close back then.
She really stepped up when Kylie died. I was surprised when she offered to move in and help out. Olivia loved her. It was as good as things could be with my wife dead, but then I felt myself growing feelings, and that’s what scared me. It was much too soon to move on after Kylie—and another year later still felt too soon.