“Oops,” I whispered, grinning wickedly at Ari now. “Pop, pop.”Chapter ThirteenElijahIt took a while for the introductions to be completed because all my brothers had decided to join us after hearing the news from Jackson. They wouldn’t have missed celebrating the fact they were going to be uncles, even if it happened in a hospital.
Parker had come back during it all to introduce us to an OB/GYN he trusted, Ross Parks. He’d confirmed the diagnosis for Sadie and advised us that admitting her to stabilize her glucose levels and make sure she could keep food down with the anti-nausea medication he was giving her was the best thing. I didn’t know when I was taking her to Sarasota Bay, but I knew it’d be happening, so Mom was going to do some research there, and we were making sure that everything was noted in her yellow file.
If I’d been told I’d knocked someone up a year ago, I’d have been freaking the hell out. Now, though, I was reading through what’d been put in her file while looking stuff up online. I’d downloaded some pregnancy books onto my phone, but I was going to order paperback versions as well so that I could highlight essential parts and take notes.
Maybe I should buy some index cards, too, so that I could test myself?
Opening up my Amazon app, I added two packs to the cart that had the books and highlighters in it. I’d place the order once I knew where we were going to be staying when we left here.
“You know, the information isn’t going to disappear if you put the folder down,” Sadie murmured, watching me from the bed.
I’d taken a shower while my brothers were talking to her about what they all did, and because I’d still had my bags in the truck, I’d been able to change into clean clothes. I knew she wanted to have a shower, but she’d only just finished a light meal, so I wanted her stomach to have time to digest before she had one.
This gave me time to have the chat with her that we needed to get out of the way.
Standing up, I dropped the folder on the chair I’d just vacated and motioned for her to scoot over slightly. Staring at me like I’d grown two heads, she moved over and then watched as I lay down next to her on my side.
“I owe you an apology,” I started. “Actually, I owe you a lot of apologies, so you’ll have to bear with me while I get through them all, okay?”
Mimicking my position, she rolled onto her side making me frown. Were pregnant women allowed to lie like that? Would it upset the baby?
Making a mental note to look it up later, I traced the side of her face with the tip of my index finger, enjoying being able to do it after being away from her for so long.
“To start with, I’m so fucking sorry about Shonelle, pixie. That whole thing was fucked up,” I groaned. “So fucking fucked up.”
“You have a past, Elijah,” she sighed. “Everyone has a past, even if it’s not sexually. There’s no need to apologize for that.”
“Yes, there is,” I said seriously. “My past and my future shouldn’t come into contact with each other. I’m not being a dick when I say that, but I just don’t want anything to hurt you. And the fact that it was her, someone who’s bullied you and Bonnie… I’m disgusted with myself.” Rolling onto my back, I had to look away from her to say the next part. “I’m also disgusted by the fact that I don’t remember that night. I get that drunk hookups happen,”— she snorted, making me chuckle—“but I was always careful not to be too drunk because that’s disrespectful. Regardless of the circumstances, I never wanted to be that dick who didn’t remember a woman.”
“I’m not saying it’s right, but I also think you’re beating yourself up about it too much.”
“Maybe,” I shrugged, “but I can’t help it. I also don’t want you thinking I’m a total asshole and using it against me at some point.”
“Elijah,” she called, reaching over and squeezing my hand to get my attention on her. “Like I said, we all have a past. Ideally, the past and future shouldn’t collide, I agree with you, but it happens to almost everyone. Using it to create a gap between us would be bullshit, and I wouldn’t do that. I’m a mature adult, getting shitty about your past would be stupid. Just put it away, okay?”
Blowing out a breath, I nodded. “I’ll try. I’m also sorry for just up and leaving you. When she said that, I was scared that I’d see the same look of disappointment on your face that Coop’s parents had on theirs, and I couldn’t take it. The missing fishermen reopened a raw wound, so I was already in a bad place. Seeing that would’ve tipped me over the edge, so I took the pussy way out and left.”