“Like what?”
“You could art?”
“That’s not a verb, Landon. You don’t just art.”
“Sculpt then, whatever. You look like you need to do something with your hands.”
“I haven’t got my materials with me, and I’m not in the right mood anyway. I wish the decking had a veranda, at least we could go out then. It’s not good to be cooped up inside.”
“Plenty of board games.”
“We could play twister.”
Trust Landon to think of the game with the highest chance of physical contact.
“I’m not sure if they’ve got twister, but you could take a look.”
Trust Mom to see the innocence in that suggestion. Twister has only ever been played to get closer to someone you like, she can’t be that naive not to realize it.
“Isn’t anyone else bored?”
“Yep.”
Landon puts his hand up.
“Me too.”
I flop down on the couch next to him, unable to keep myself away from him any longer. I know there’s another seat available, and I barely fit into this one, but I’m going to sit here anyway, there’s nothing wrong with that, is there?
“I’m so bored my muscles are seizing up.”
“I bet it’s not raining at the lake.”
“You’re that desperate to go, huh?”
Landon wouldn’t be able to wipe that smug grin off his face even if it were raining inside the house.
“No.”
“Doesn’t sound like it to me.”
“We could check.”
Does that sound desperate? Wanting to go to the lake doesn’t mean I automatically want to fuck him. I mean, he doesn’t know that at least.
“That’s like a monsoon brewing out there, Tilly.”
Maybe he’s bored of me already. Fuck. Maybe I’m falling for him and he’s not falling for me, except I know he wants me because I can see it in his eyes every time he looks over. Every time I look at him I get a look back that tells me. He’s the one that made this happen in the first place, both times. If Mom and Marvin weren’t here now, we’d be fucking. He wants to, I know that, so why is he holding out on me? Is it to make me beg? Is it because he wants to be sure? Is it really raining that hard?
“You’ve never driven in a monsoon?”
“I just don’t like taking unnecessary risks.”
“Very wise, Landon”, Mom says. “It’s a real mess out there still and the last thing we want is for you to slip about on the road and have an accident.”
Asshole.
“You could be missing out on a hell of a lot with an attitude like that.”
“You’re forgetting, I’ve already seen what’s out there.”
Double asshole. I know he’s fucking around because of the way he’s smiling at me to goad me on, which means this is a test and I just have to find the right words to convince him, but fuck him. I shouldn’t play, but I can’t not.
“You never want to see it again?”
“I can wait until the rain passes.”
“Maybe I can’t.”
“I don’t believe that for a second.”
“Seriously. I might change my mind tomorrow. I might be over it. The lake, the sunbathing, everything. Come to think of it, I might even move my bed back in here. The only reason I slept for so long was because I was up half the night with your snoring.”
“Huh.”
Bingo. Just the possibility that I could stop this any time I want seems to be having some effect.
“You know the lake is always going to be there, right?”
“We might not be though, and tomorrow it might be raining again. This vacation isn’t going to last forever.”
“We can always come back.”
“Better to find out whether it’s worth it first or not.”
Zing! Strike two. Landon looks like he’s about to topple.
“Alright. If you really, really want to, we can go, but if we go, we have to go all the way.”
I can’t hide my smile. Back seat or front seat? I’ve never fucked in a car before. How long can we get away with being outside for without Mom and Marvin getting sus? We could pretend to have been caught in it, pretend we actually did have an accident.
“Don’t be silly, Landon. Look at the weather. You don’t think going together is dangerous. You’ll regret it when you both get caught.”
Landon and I look at each other and then back to Mom. We know what she’s talking about, but she could equally as easily be talking about what Landon and I aren’t talking about. Again, I ask myself, does she know? It’s not impossible that she heard us last night, but would she really bring it up like this?
“You’re just going to get wet, Tilly. Really wet. And it’s going to be hard all the way for Landon. It’s a big risk-. What are you two laughing at?”
Landon and I can’t help it. When I’m finally able to gather myself and catch my breath, I’m crying so much I can barely see. Landon’s just as bad.
“What is wrong with you two?”
Marvin looks up from his magazine momentarily to give us the once over.
“Not enough oxygen in here I reckon.”
“Sorry, it’s just, I don’t know, something funny about what you said-.”
Landon can barely finish his sentence before he’s creasing over with laughter again.
“I’m just concerned about you two, that’s all. There’s nothing funny
about that. I don’t want to get a call from someone that’s found you two on top of one another in a big pile.”
I know she’s talking about us having an accident, but based on what I hope we end up doing, it sends me into another uncontrollable fit of laughter, during which time I can’t help but press myself against Landon’s chest, put my hand on his thigh to try and steady myself and rest my head momentarily against his shoulder.
“Alright, do whatever you want, see if I care. You’re both adults anyway.”
Mom gives us a dismissive wave of her hand and returns to the kitchen to continue tidying up.
I turn to Landon, my belly already tumbling over nervously.
“Are you sure you want to go?”
“Are you sure you are ready to come again?”
The ‘again’ is tacked onto the sentence with just enough ambiguity that it doesn’t sound completely awkward. It still forces me to squeeze Landon’s thigh with a hidden hand just to make sure he doesn’t risk doing it again. Mom looks over momentarily, trying to place the origin of the yelp, satisfied enough that nothing is wrong when we both smile innocently back at her.
We are both ready in less than five minutes, as eager as each other to get out of the door. The sky above us is grey, but over in the distance, perhaps in the direction we are travelling, I can just about see a slither of blue.
To get to the car we have to rush through raindrops as big as broad beans, while Mom stands at the door watching us both go, perhaps worried we might not come back at all.
I cannot even begin to explain how thrilled I am, my stomach turning over so much I almost feel sick. I’m nervous because I know what's coming, excited because I want it more than anything else.
I’m wet when I get into the car, fifteen seconds underneath the rain enough to plaster my hair to my shoulders. A moment later, Landon is alongside me, his face wet, his T-shirt almost sodden through.
“This better be worth it, Tilly.”
“You already know it is.”
If Mom wasn't waving us away I’d kiss him right away. When we are far enough away she wouldn’t even be able to see us with her birding binoculars, I can’t keep my hands off him.